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What to Do When There’s “No More People in My Area” on Dating Apps
“There’s no more people in my area!” Tons of emlovz clients have said this to us over the years when it comes to dating apps. And I honestly don’t doubt it. While dating apps can definitely widen your dating pool in the beginning, the choices aren’t infinite. Eventually, you hit a wall. But here’s the mistake a lot of people make… They assume the problem is the dating market itself. They think there aren’t enough single people out there, when the truth is, there just aren’t enough people who meet your criteria. Now, I know that doesn’t sound comforting. Of course, you need to have standards. You don’t want just a warm body, right? You want to be with someone who you find attractive, who you can get along with, and who you’d be proud to be seen with. Yet over and over again, people will treat dating apps like it’s some kind of genie in a bottle. They put in all their “wishes” and expect their dream lover to instantly appear in a cloud of smoke. Here’s the thing. Dating apps can help narrow down your choices. But you have to be super careful about what you consider a dealbreaker. You don’t want your search to eliminate good potential matches because you are being overly picky. Also, dating is a process. Not every date will be your potential “forever person,” nor should they be. So don’t put tight restrictions on who you’re willing to meet. If you do, you won’t date as much… which means you won’t build your dating skills as much either (or have as much fun). Finally, you need to put work into this. There are always people in your area. You just have to get educated enough about how dating apps work so you can see them. If you’re the type who tends to say “there’s no more people in my area,” this article’s for you. If You Complain “There’s No More People in My Area,” Do These 7 Things I love it when people come to me with this problem because it’s honestly one of the easiest ones to solve. Follow these tips to turn things around. 1. Update Your Profile A lot of people use a “set it and forget it” approach to their dating app profiles. They put up their best photos, pore over every word in their bio (or not), and then sit back and not touch it for weeks, months, or even years. Wrong. Here’s something you should remember: Every time you update your profile, the algorithms show you again to people who previously swiped left. So, think about it for a second. If you add a scuba photo to your profile, it’s only fitting that the algorithm would show this new photo to women who previously swiped left because maybe that new piece of information is a game-changer for them. Updating your profiles every week or two keeps your leads fresh, so you’re not running dry or only matching with a few new people as they join the apps. Keep revisiting your profile and make tweaks so that things don’t get stale prematurely. 2. Expand Your Preferences If your filters are too tight, your pool will be too narrow. So, expand your preferences! Widen the geographic area you’re looking in, and try to eliminate filters. I know I probably gave you a heart attack with that last one. “How could I possibly use no filters on a dating app?” I can hear you asking. All I’m saying is, just don’t get overly selective with your filters until you’re able to go on one to two dates a week. In other words, once you can easily find one or two people to go out with on any given week, then you have permission to be picky. But before that? Sorry, no. By the time you get one to two dates per week, you’ll automatically have to become more selective because you won’t have the time to date all of them regularly. So let the selectivity happen naturally rather than being overly picky off the bat. If I had been overly picky early on, I would have never met my super-compatible boyfriend. Sometimes, we don’t realize what we want until we see it. It’s also really hard to know exactly what you want before you’ve done much MegaDating, which helps you get clear on which characteristics are truly important to you and which are just “nice to have.” 3. Have a +/- 10 Year Age Range You may hesitate to do this at first. At first, we all want to tell a dating app exactly what we’re looking for in an ideal world. But in some cases, this doesn’t actually help. So here’s one important tip if you’re thinking, “there are no more people in my area”: Don’t set your preferences to a tight age range. Instead, widen it to plus or minus 10 years from your age. That maximizes the number of people who will swipe right on you. The more right swipes you get, the higher your ELO score, which makes the algorithm see you as “more valuable.” Once that happens, it shows your profile to more high-quality matches. Don’t get me wrong. This doesn’t mean you have to swipe right on people you wouldn’t date. But people older than you will generally swipe right on your profile more than younger ones, especially if they’re over 30. So raising your age range just hacks the algorithm so you get shown to the most competitive matches possible. 4. Message People You’re Slightly Attracted To Again, don’t get too wrapped up in finding the perfect match right away. Some people who think “there’s no more people in my area” still won’t message the few matches they do see — or if they do, they don’t put in as much effort because they want to save the good messages for the people they’re most attracted to. Don’t do this. Instead, practice messaging and dating people who you may be on the fence about as a way to gain experience. Get familiar with the idea of MegaDating so you understand how it can help you. In a nutshell, going on dates with people you’re not as attracted to can build your confidence and take away a lot of dating anxiety, making you that much more prepared for “the one.” I’m not saying you should message people you would never date, though. That will just make the algorithm think you want to see more and more of those types of people. The key is, just don’t be too selective too soon. The MegaDating process will naturally make you super selective if you’re messaging 10 women a day and going on at least one or two dates per week. 5. Reach Out on Social Media Dating apps are great for finding prospects but let’s be honest – you don’t always match with the person you want. And if you do, they don’t always message back. So that’s when you take matters into your own hands: Use the dating app to help you find interesting leads, but then reach out to them on social media instead. (No, it’s not creepy. It’s persistent.) Think about it this way, too: Sometimes people take a break from dating apps because they had a bad experience. Or, they find someone they’re interested in and want to see how things go. But those same people are almost always on social media daily. This means you have a better chance at connecting with people you’re most interested in on social media. Give it a try and you’ll see. You can find a good percentage of people on social media just by looking for their handle on their dating profiles. Even without that, googling the information you see on a profile is a pretty easy way to find that person on social media and reach out that way. So for an example, if you’re trying to DM a woman on Instagram, try commenting on her story, as the message will go into their primary message inbox. You may have to become friends first depending on their privacy settings but lots of profiles are public and you can usually send a message even if her profile is private. 6. Attend a Speed Dating Event One of my biggest tips for anyone who says “there’s no more people in my area” is: Participate in virtual speed dating. You’ll quickly see how many single people there are around you! This guy even goes to far as to say it’s 100% more effective than online dating itself. Think of speed dating as MegaDating but on steroids. You show up and meet tons of singles back-to-back within an hour or two, talking to each one for just a few minutes only. Then if both of you later indicate you’re interested in each other, you can take things further. Sure, it might feel a little weird, but it’s also tons of fun — especially if you and a friend do it together. You could meet someone interesting but even if you don’t, you’ll definitely come away with some good stories! In case you were thinking speed dating was a thing of the past, you can find speed dating events on the League app, as well as through outside companies who specialize in just that. Bottom line, any way to get in front of more potential matches is a plus. 7. Hire a Matchmaker Depending on how the matchmaker finds their candidates, they may be able to find higher quality women than you are, if you’re only using dating apps and are constrained by a low ELO score. So, consider hiring one (like us) if you find yourself thinking “there’s no more people in my area.” Just be wary of matchmakers who only use their own internal database, though. Your perfect perfect match probably isn’t just sitting there on their list. Instead at emlovz, we recruit quality matches for you from scratch. We get you in front of the highest quality candidates because we use professional recruiting tools that are less limited than dating apps. Our tools allow us to find candidates who aren’t necessarily on the apps (often, the best choices aren’t because they don’t have to be!). We also have leverage when reaching out to female candidates. What does this mean? Well, being approached as a matchmaker is a big ego boost — it stands out because it rarely happens, so women we approach tend to respond much more often than they would if you had tried to compete with the hundreds of messages in their inbox. When you sign up for the full-service matchmaking program at emlovz, we set you up with 6 or 12 highly compatible matches over a 2-4 month period — but most of the time much sooner. To make this many introductions for you, my team of matchmakers, recruiters, and I source over 250 potential matches for you, qualify 50 of them, interview 15 to 30, and set you up with the 6 or 12 we feel would fit the best into your life. There’s No More People in My Area: Wrap-Up It’s common to think there’s no one out there for you when it comes to dating — but it’s also just way too pessimistic. If you find yourself saying this, you probably don’t make yourself visible enough on dating apps or are being overly picky. We all do this, so I’m not criticizing, but if you want to improve the situation, you’ll need to be open to change. Maybe choose one of the above tips and see how it goes first. It’ll show you the power you have over your dating experience. You’ll also be able to pinpoint exactly what the issue is. If you still have trouble after that, don’t hesitate to reach out. Book an intro call with me or one of my colleagues today to learn more about our personal coaching and matchmaking services here at emlovz. No matter what your situation, we can take things up a notch and make you more competitive for dates than you’ve ever been… so you’ll never have to think “there’s no more people in my area” again.

Inside the Secret World of a Dominatrix…
What Does a Dominatrix Do? Go Behind the Scenes of BDSM… Click Here to Discover 5 All-Natural Foods That Get You Hard-As-Steel FAST (Even If You Haven’t Had an Erection in Years)… When you hear the word “dominatrix,” what do you see? A girl dressed in a leather catsuit…? Maybe she’s holding a whip…? Or some handcuffs…? It’s normal to think that being a dominatrix is all about whips, chains, and pain…but this isn’t the whole story! Meet the Pornstar And Ex-Dominatrix Who’s Baring It All for You… I’m Lyra Law, pornstar and ex-Dom…and today I’m gonna show you what being a dominatrix is REALLY like. 😉 (Maybe you read my last article on here about my favorite oral sex technique.) As a pornstar, I have all different kinds of sex…so I’m no stranger to BDSM. In fact, I first got my start in the industry as a dominatrix! You might say I jumped into it “head-first”…and I absolutely fell in love with it. And while I’m not a Dom anymore…I still think about it from time to time. THE LATEST: If She Does This With Her Body It Means She REALLY Wants to Sleep With You! And what I’ve realized is that most people have NO idea what really goes on in the world of Doms, Subs, and BDSM. So I want to share with you the 4 biggest misconceptions guys have about what being a dominatrix is really like. Ready to get started? Beginning with myth #1: Myth #1: Men Are Always Doms And Women Are Always Subs A lot of people assume that men are always the more “dominant” sexual force…this is so not true! As an ex-Dom, I know firsthand how many women absolutely love being Doms…and how many men only want to be a Sub. Personally, I love being in control in the bedroom…it makes me feel powerful, which is a huge turn-on. On top of that, a lot of men are used to being in control of every aspect of their lives…so being a Sub is sort of a “release” for them. It allows them to let everything go, and let someone else (like me) take the reigns for once. So if you’ve ever fantasized about being completely dominated by a woman…you’re not alone. It’s actually quite common. 🙂 Which brings me to the next common misconception about the world of BDSM… Myth #2: It’s All About Whips, Chains, And Pain I won’t lie…whips and chains are absolutely a part of being a dominatrix. So is pain. But that’s not all there is to it! It’s much more nuanced than that. As a dominatrix, my job is to pleasure you…but you have to relinquish control before I can do that. While some guys see whips and chains as the easiest way to relinquish this control…there are other ways. For example, some guys get off on being my “pet.” They get on all fours and I “walk” them. I’ve also dressed up as Hitler’s mistress… Played “doctor… Used catheters and injections… And if you think that’s weird, that’s just the tip of the iceberg: One guy even asked to smell my farts once. Do you see how “relinquishing control” can mean very different things to different people? SPECIAL: 27 Surefire Signs She’s H*rny And DTF Right Now… Speaking of people, a lot of guys think that only “weirdos” would go see a dominatrix. In reality, 99% of my clients are normal, working-class straight men. They’re just looking for a little something “extra.” They treat women with respect and are 100% sane…I just give them the release they’re looking for. 😉 Myth #3 – The Dom Is In Control Dominatrix = dominating…right? OK, yes. But that’s not the whole story. The Dom and the Sub have a very special relationship — the Dom’s job is ultimately to give the Sub an orgasm, so in reality, the Sub has the power. While the Dom does handle most of the “action” in bed, the Sub usually calls the shots. The Sub sets the boundaries and limits — like a safe word — and the Dom can only do what the Sub will allow. For example, if you see a video of a Dom dripping candle wax onto a Sub, this is something the Sub previously requested. It’s what the Sub wants. And this relationship requires a lot of trust on both ends. The Sub trusts that the Dom won’t overstep her (or his) boundaries… And the Dom trusts that the Sub is relinquishing 100% of his (or her) control…not 95%. Not 97%. 100%. This kind of agreement allows the Dom to take the Sub to a new headspace…I call it the “Sub space.” It’s here where the fun can finally begin. Myth #4: You’re Either A Dom Or A Sub…Not Both I’ve done a lot of work as a Dominatrix…and don’t get me wrong, I f’in love being in charge… But I also loooove being a Sub. People who enjoy both roles — being a Dom and a Sub — are what we in the industry call a “Switch.” A Switch is someone who can “switch” between the two roles, depending on how they’re feeling and the circumstances. For example, if a guy can’t dominate me in bed every once in a while, I’ll be missing something from my sex life…I need the give and take to be balanced in order to be completely satisfied. What turns me on most in a guy is someone who’s comfortable with both being in control and relinquishing control…in my personal life, I need somebody who can do both. So what does a Dom/Sub relationship really look like in the bedroom? It looks however you want it to look! What’s great about these roles is that you and your partner can define them any way you please. If you’re a Dom who’s into bondage, then introduce a short crop (a kind of whip) or maybe a blindfold in the bedroom…start small, and gradually increase the pain. While I’ll admit I enjoy the more “extreme” sex acts, the Dom/Sub relationship isn’t all about pain. SPECIAL: This “Raging Bull Secret” That Boosts Your Bloodflow & Gives You Hard-As-Steel Erections Is Almost Sold Out (Click Here to Get It)… There’s a gray area between “vanilla” sex and full-on BDSM…it’s whatever you want it to be. 🙂 Beyond the world of BDSM, there is one more “industry secret” I have to share with you… It’s about the kind of sex that drives girls like me f’in nuts…the kind of sex she’ll never forget…the kind that gets her borderline “addicted” to you… Although “addicted” isn’t quite the right word…us girls in the industry call it “c**k drunk.” How to Get Her “C**K Drunk” on YOU… “Sounds like someone’s gone c**k drunk!” My co-star Edyn told me… I had spent the last hour telling her all about my f–k buddy “Burt”…how “full” he felt inside me…how I went down on him for half an hour that morning…mmm, I’m getting turned on just thinking about it… But “c**k drunk”?? That’s a first. “What the hell does THAT mean?” I asked her… She gave me a pouty frown…”You didn’t watch my video, did you?” She had sent it to me that morning…but I was “working”… 😉 She pulled out her phone…”Here, just watch,” she said, pressing play: The video said: “If a guy can give me the pleasure I crave…if he can turn me on the way I want…well, I’ll keep coming back to him day after day…and for one reason only: I want his c**k inside me. It’s what I call being ‘c**k drunk’.” So I WASN’T crazy! All those urges…how I needed his manhood 24/7…thinking about him during EVERY scene at work…the sheet-soaking “night orgasms”…I was just c**k drunk. I never knew how to put it into words…but you can watch Edyn show you, step-by-step, how to do it here: Pornstar Edyn Blair: “How to Get Me C**K Drunk on YOU” (Warning: NSFW!) If You Want to Experiment With “Rough” Sex Or Get Her to Unleash Her Kinkier Side… … then I’ve got good news: Universally, almost all women like sex to be at least a LITTLE rough (myself included)… And there are some rough moves, which are on the safer side, that give women extraordinary pleasure… without really risking going too far. Deep down, almost all women CRAVE these rough sex moves… … though because we don’t want to be “judged” or come off as a “sl*t”… … we usually won’t open up about it, until the man takes the initiative and gets a little rough with us first. 😉 Just click the move you want to know more about below: 1) The Dominant Hand-Hold 2) The S&M Spank 3) The Goldilocks Choke P.S. This is embarrassing to admit, but I came in like 2 minutes the last time a guy did this to me lol… would you try it? [Note: This post was updated by Gotham Club on February 24, 2021.] Share this…

One of my dumbest over 50’s dating mistakes ever!
One of my dumbest over 50’s dating mistakes ever! Before we get to today’s blog, I wanted to mention a fun virtual event that’s coming up next week. It’s called The Wise Woman’s Journey. Twenty-one speakers share how these years can be a time of expansion and fulfillment, as you express yourself authentically and address concerns about visibility, opportunity, or the value of your gifts. I am one of the featured speakers. The host of this twenty-one-day journey, Catherine Rowan, is creating a visionary movement of wise women who are supporting each other and changing the cultural narrative on aging, beauty, and contribution for women. We also explore sexuality, health, astrology, and a range of other topics. Every day from 1-21 March you’ll be receiving a fabulous 30-minute video. Register to meet Catherine and the other leading inspirational women. I can’t wait for you to join us and experience this supportive Wise Woman community. Here’s your link to register, all you have to do is click here to join. Now onto one of my biggest dating blunders…. Today, I want to share with you one of my biggest dating blunders… A couple of years ago, my high school boyfriend, Paul popped back into my life. I was in the middle of my second divorce and I was feeling pretty low. His kindness and humor gave me hope and made me feel like there was light at the end of a very long dark tunnel. As high school sweethearts, we thought for sure our hearts would be bound together in love forever. (There is nothing like young love…so innocent and sweet!) But we ended up at different colleges about four hours apart. This distance would pull us apart and by winter break of our freshman year we broke up. Our lives were no longer connected on a daily basis so the spark that held us together slowly fizzled. I moved on in life, got married, had kids, and 24 years later, divorced my first husband then a few years later my second husband. And that’s when Paul showed up again in my life. He’d written me an email asking why we’d broken up 30 years ago. That letter opened the door to an on-again/off-again two-year phone relationship….it was on the phone because we lived about 4 hours apart. We spent hours talking every night and I found myself falling in love with him all over again. And why wouldn’t I? I was vulnerable and here was this old love of mine telling me I was beautiful, smart, kind, and compassionate. He’d tell me stories of how he’d put me on a pedestal and treat me like a princess. His words touched my heart at a time when I was feeling like a complete failure in the relationship department. But there was a BIG problem happening… We’d talk a couple of weeks then he’d literally disappear only to resurface months later with new words that would once again touch my heart. We’d reconnect and then he’d disappear again. My heart would break every time this happened. I was in love with this man and I wanted to see him again. But every time we scheduled a time to meet, he would cancel at the last minute leaving me angry, frustrated, and disappointed. He finally said yes. But when we met, his actions were so different from the words he’d spoken nightly on the phone with me. Talking on the phone, he’d been so warm and open. In-person, he was cool and distant. I remember thinking where was that man I’d fallen in love with and who was this man standing right in front of me? Well shortly after this little meet and greet, he disappeared again breaking my heart once more. Now, you might ask, “why in the world did I let this go on?” At the time, I wasn’t a Love Coach and Dating Expert. I didn’t understand that I was falling in love with the fantasy I’d created based on the hollow words he’d shared with me every night. This was a HUGE LESSON for me. I learned words are cheap and very easy to fall for, especially when you feel vulnerable, lonely, or wounded in some way. Words can blind you and keep you from seeing a man’s faults especially when they are soothing open emotional wounds. A good man who really loves you will follow his words up with action. His actions are what make him worthy of being with you! Now it’s your turn. Have you ever known a man like Paul? Post below how he made you feel and if you are still in a relationship with him today. I look forward to hearing your comments. Believing in you! Hugs~ Love this article? Sign up by clicking here to receive my weekly blog. Copyright© 2021 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved. On February 24, 2021 / Companionship after 50, Dating Challenges after 50, Dating Mistakes after 50, Mindset after 50, Mistakes Women Make Dating After 50, Relationships after 50

Success Stories, Vol 1.
At the mature dating site, we’re proud to have brought countless single and mature daters together over the years. Dating over 50 isn’t traditionally the easiest thing, but online dating has given a fantastic platform to those of us looking for that special somebody. Every now and then, we hear about a fantastic success story and have to share it. In this article, we’re going to share three of those success stories, as sent in by our beautiful 50 up singles. Read on. Claire and Mike. After I lost my husband in a car accident in 2009, I never thought I’d be happy again. He was my first and only love and we’d been together for forty-two wonderful years. As time went on, I threw myself into my work and hobbies, but I couldn’t shake off my loneliness. Because I’d known my husband since high school, I’d never been in the dating game and was petrified about the idea of putting myself out there, especially because I felt too old to date, being in my early sixties and all. It was my daughter that put me onto online dating, and after a lot of umming and ahhing, she helped me to pick out some flattering photos and write my profile. It was so daunting writing about myself! But once I plucked up the courage to go live, I was overwhelmed with the response I received. It was such an ego boost to receive so much attention from so many men, I swear it took years off me! When Mike contacted me, he really did sweep me off my feet! He was charming and funny and I couldn’t stop myself from re-reading his profile over and over. I had yet to go on any actual dates, so after two weeks of e-mailing, texting and calling I couldn’t wait to meet him in person. He seemed so genuine, caring and shared a lot of the same beliefs and dreams as me; he too had lost his wife a few years ago so I felt that we could relate. I was extremely nervous about meeting Mike in person, but my daughter drove me to the restaurant to make sure everything was safe. Our first date was a whirlwind of bashful smiles, clumsy hand grazes and awkward giggles. That night I couldn’t sleep, I just kept going over our magical night, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. We started seeing each other regularly and it wasn’t long before I removed my online dating profile. Mike and I have been together now for just over a year and are looking forward to many more to come. Our families have welcomed each other with open arms and we both thank the stars each and every day; online dating has allowed me to find my forever friend. Greg and Rosie. My wife Rosie and me met through online dating four and a half years ago. Prior to that, I had been a dedicated single dad for a very long time! I decided to try online dating after a friend successfully met his partner. I thought, ‘what the heck if nothing else it would be a bit of fun and I could potentially meet my soul mate! I online dated on and off for a year and went on a number of weird and wonderful dates during which time I learnt a lot about myself, what I liked, disliked, what I was willing to compromise and what I truly believed in. It was a massive eye-opener for me! When I first saw Rosie’s profile, I couldn’t help but smile. Her profile picture was her rolling around with her three ‘kids’ – three massive Great Dane dogs! It was such an honest, genuine portrayal and I couldn’t wait to learn more about her. Funnily enough, it wasn’t loved at first click for Rosie and she certainly put me through my paces and made me work for her (I later found out that she was being bombarded by a significant number of suitors and was sick and tired of the same old clichéd emails). After 3 weeks of relentless persuasion, she finally accepted to go on a date with me, wahoo! What made me fall for Rosie’s profile wasn’t just her lovely photo, but how open and honest she was; there was a massive sense of vulnerability that I found very endearing and completely unique in the online dating world. When we met, I knew I had found my special someone. It was like we’d known each other our entire lives, we just hadn’t met yet. My two children fell in love with her immediately, and I with her dogs. We spent weekends away hiking, skiing, and sightseeing. Long, cold nights curled up by the fire. Holidays to Europe. On our 6 month anniversary, I couldn’t wait any longer… I proposed to her in Venice under the stars and she said yes! We had a beautiful, modest wedding at her parents’ home in the country with all of our family and friends and honeymooned for a glorious week in Portugal. We now live in a lovely little cottage by the sea with Rosie’s dogs and my two grown-up kids visit often. I cannot praise online dating enough, I would never have met Rosie if it wasn’t for the internet, I feel like the luckiest man on the planet. Brian and Mary. I had never considered myself lucky in love. With three failed marriages behind me and a broken heart, I decided to give up on my love life and concentrate on my writing career. One day when I was surfing the net, I saw an advert for online dating and thought I’d give it a go. Being a writer is a lonesome lifestyle and after 10 years of living in solitude, I figured I should give love another shot. Online dating opened up a whole new world for me. Before I wrote my profile, I decided that I needed to get out there and start living my life; I thought that in order to sell myself successfully I should have some legitimate interests and hobbies instead of just staring out of the window with writers’ block! So I joined a pottery class and started learning to play the guitar- two things that I’ve always wanted to do. By spending the time on myself, I automatically started to feel more confident and proud of myself and this propelled me to write my profile. It was very daunting putting myself out there like that, but also very liberating. I was rejected often in the early days, but after re-jigging my profile and choosing a more sincere photo I struck gold. I made the initial contact with Mary, a retired primary school teacher with the biggest heart, 2 months after I joined the dating site. Her profile picture showed the kindest eyes I’d ever seen, and her profile was so sweet. She was clearly very devoted to her children and grandkids, was passionate about helping people, loved her little cat to pieces and was a keen guitarist. I spent an entire day brainstorming, writing and screwing up letters trying to find the perfect words to say to her. I wanted to make the best possible first impression but everything I wrote sounded cheesy or desperate. I finally decided to video myself playing an Elvis song (she mentioned being an Elvis fan!) And low and behold, she responded! We e-mailed back and forth for a couple of weeks before exchanging numbers; we were both cautious and respected each other enough to take it slowly. We spoke a lot about our past, present and future. What our aspirations were, our fears, our dreams. We would stay up on the phone all night, laughing until we cried at times! We became very close through our daily chats, though we were both nervous about bringing our relationship to reality and actually meeting in person. We had a number of false first dates whereby either she or I would cancel at the last minute due to this or that….but we both understood that we were scared of bursting our beautiful bubble. What if we didn’t like each other in person?! Finally, after two months of talking daily, we bit the bullet and met for coffee. It was probably one of the most intimidating experiences of my life! I had fallen in love with Mary during our 2 months of hiding behind a screen and I was so afraid of losing her, my hands have never shook so much in my life! Our first date was awkward, to say the least. Long silences broken by us both going to talk at the same time, we were both so nervous the table was trembling! We ended up walking for the rest of the day, and as the minutes turned into hours, we slowly relaxed enough to be able to hold hands in the park, and sealed the end of the date with a bumbling yet beautiful kiss on the cheek. It took us a few dates to become completely relaxed with each other, but before long we became inseparable. Mary went through a traumatic divorce, and what with my marital history, we have decided to not tie the knot. We have however been happily living together for the past 6 months and are in the process of opening our very own pottery workshop! I don’t believe I ever would’ve met anyone if it wasn’t for online dating. It’s so hard to just meet someone these days at the supermarket, park or local pub. I think it’s wonderful that the internet can bring people from all over the world together. I am blessed to have met Mary. Men! How to Write the Perfect Profile Women: Your Guide to the Perfect Online Dating Profile!

Success Stories, Part Two.
Anyone can fall in love, or so the song goes. However, for older dating people like us, it can be much harder than we remember. That’s why we set up Maturity Dating as one of the leading online senior dating agencies in the UK. Over the years we’ve brought together countless happy couples, and once again we’re delighted to bring you three more stories. Don’t forget to check out part one of our success stories, either! So, without further to do, let’s find out how love blossomed in three more mature couples. Sandra and Jake. Thank you Maturity Dating! Without you, I never would have met my dreamboat fiancé Jake! My marriage had been failing for a long time, so when I finally left my husband in 2010, I was ready and raring to meet the new man of my dreams. A good friend recommended online dating, and so one night – me, my mate and a few drinks later – ta-da! I had an online dating profile! It was so exciting scrolling through all the single guy’s profiles, it was almost addictive! I got such a rush from all of the attention I was receiving and realised that I was actually quite the catch! I went on a fair few dates and met some really nice guys. I took each experience with a pinch of salt and had a great time exploring what it was that I, as a woman, really wanted! I realised pretty quickly that my idea of Prince Charming was not as perfect as I once thought. Looks fade, but a good heart was eternal. A sense of humour was way more interesting than a high-flying suit job, and age means diddly squat! Jake wasn’t the typical guy I’d go for, but my 8-month online dating experience was teaching me to think outside of the box and be open to different things. My immediate reaction to Jake was our blatant age gap, but his profile picture really captured my attention; it was him skydiving! And so I decided to throw caution to the wind and give his profile a gander. I quickly learnt that Jake was an extreme thrill-seeker with a passion for trying new things and a killer sense of humour. He was so exciting and cheeky, it didn’t take long before we were sharing a candlelit dinner and laughing like old friends. Jake really brought the best out of me and I felt like I could trust him with anything; I’d never met such a grounded, authentic, fun-loving gentleman! He spoils me rotten with flowers, poems and cute letters and is forever surprising me; we’ve been on dates to theme parks, white water rafting, tree-top zip-lining; he’s adamant on getting me to bungee jump, but I need a little more persuasion! We met in 2011 and dated for a year before he asked me to move in with him. I had told Jake in the beginning that I didn’t want to remarry, and he was fine with that as he had two divorces under his belt. However, on February 29th, 2016 I couldn’t resist the temptation to surprise him with the ultimate question… and I proposed! Jake was blown away – I’d finally got him back for all sneaky surprises- but he said yes! I am now 51 and he is 68. We haven’t set a date yet; we’re just enjoying the moments we have together. Maybe we’ll get married whilst bungee jumping?! Frank and Grace. I was completely against joining a dating site in the beginning. I suppose I was a little old-fashioned and believed in the stigma attached to finding a partner on the internet. I’d lost my wife to cancer 8 years previously, and although was an active member of the community always out and about playing bowls, ballroom dancing and pitching in at the local allotment; I was lonely and missed having that special someone to share life with. It wasn’t until my son brought his new girlfriend over for dinner that I started to become interested in online dating. I was so surprised that he’d managed to find such a lovely, smart, down to earth girl – on the internet of all places! But even though I was intrigued, it took a lot of determination to post my profile. I felt embarrassed and ashamed that I couldn’t find a datein real life’ and worried about what people would think. Maybe I should face facts, 63 was too old, right? Wrong. Oh how happy I am that I swallowed my pride, Grace is the most caring soul. She too had lost her husband to cancer and was hoping for a second chance at love. We spoke a lot on the phone at first and decided to be friends, to keep things simple. But as she spent more and more time accompanying me to bowls, dancing and gardening…and I spent more and more time with her and her little dog, Tyke, taking long walks in the park… we fell truly, madly, deeply for each other. Grace and I have been sharing our lives for almost two years now, and I feel so lucky. When people ask how we met, I have no shame in telling them that online dating brought us together! Sue and Harry. My name is Sue and I met Harry through online dating in 2013. My experience of online dating prior to this was not so successful. I had joined a website in 2009 after I had been divorced for over 5 years and my children were grown up and flown the nest. The first man I dated seemed perfect; he was kind, funny, well-groomed, gentle. We dated for about 6 months and just as we were getting serious *poof* he vanished. This left me feeling very insecure and questioning everything I had ever said and done. After a couple of months of licking my wounds, I decided to get back on the dating train and try again. This time I met a slightly younger gentleman who wooed me poetically with his written words. When I met him in person, I almost collapsed! He was at least 15 years older than his profile picture and the linguistic genius who had been seducing me online seemed to have vanished. I was very disappointed; I felt betrayed. I continued to receive a string of generic, meaningless messages from men who clearly hadn’t even bothered to read my profile, and I was just about ready to give up on online dating when suddenly – *ding* Message From Harry Received. I opened the message and was shocked at how long it was! What could he possibly have so much to talk about? I eagerly read and was amazed to find out that not only had he read my profile thoroughly, but we had so much in common. I could sense his excitement and frantic typing as I read about his own take on my favourite books, his hilarious experiences with cattle (we are both dairy farmers!) why he contested my belief that lasagne was better than spag-bol and so much more. Oh, how I literally laughed out loud! Although I was a little dubious about trusting Harry after my previous experiences with online men, I wiped the slate clean and started communicating with him openly and honestly. Over the last three years, we have become an unstoppable team; I don’t know how I ever lived without him! It just goes to show, that yes, internet dating can be tough, and yes, there are a lot of time wasters, but if you keep at it, you will be rewarded. I sure was. Success Stories, Vol 1.

Chemistry In A Relationship – Do you have it? Find out…
Chemistry is one of those things that almost seems mystical. And if you don’t know what you’re looking for, you might not know if you have chemistry in relationship. Everybody talks about chemistry. And it is really important. All the pieces fit – just right… If you don’t have chemistry in your relationship, chances are your passion will just flicker and die out. You need that special spark between you two keep the flame alive. It’s a bit of an overused metaphor, but it’s really true. Without passion, your relationship will feel like buddies or friends, not lovers. What IS Chemistry? First, let’s talk about what chemistry is. Because the more it’s a mystery to you, the more likely you’re going to make a mistake. The simplest definition of chemistry is that it’s physical attraction to another person. It’s a definite sexual connection that happens early in the relationship. There are two different kinds of chemistry: REAL and temporary. REAL chemistry is the kind of chemistry where you have a genuine click between you. It’s when you feel a certain special something that you can’t put into words. And even though this means you have a connection, it doesn’t mean you’re soulmates or you are meant to be together. In fact, a lot of the time this chemistry can cover up a lot of severe incompatibilities between you. But REAL chemistry lasts! It won’t fade away (at least not for quite some time.) And it’s a very necessary part of your long term relationship. The other kind of chemistry is temporary. This is where you may have been under the influence, or one or both of you was emotionally compromised. The end result being that you wind up in bed or intimate with each other, and then later on down the road you discover it was just a momentary thing between you. Not real. This kind of chemistry is only a problem if you try to build a relationship on top of it. This Foundation won’t hold up unless you find stronger stuff for the base. The Dangers of Having TOO MUCH Chemistry Look, let’s be real. Sometimes chemistry pushes you into a decision you didn’t mean to make. If you’ve ever had a one-night stand, you know what I mean. This can be just as lethal as the temporary kind of chemistry where you are under the influence. You can be under the influence of a passionate connection. But again, it doesn’t mean that your relationship is going to stand the test of time. Sometimes the chemistry can cover up a lot of broken parts. Another piece of the puzzle is that you need to have emotional chemistry. This is the kind of chemistry that makes you attracted to him not just for the physical part, but for the real spiritual connection between you. Do you have chemistry in your relationship? There are definite signs you can look for that tell you if you have chemistry. I will outline them for you here, and you can see if your relationship has any of them. Just keep in mind that – just because you have a sign of chemistry – this doesn’t mean that your relationship is guaranteed to succeed. Or that you should force it to succeed. Not every relationship should survive. It can be difficult to deal with if you don’t know how to handle the emotional hurt of a breakup. But clinging to a relationship that isn’t meant to be is a far worse mistake. As you might be aware, chemistry is not the same thing as compatibility. Let’s talk about some love and chemistry tips that will help you understand this better: Love & Chemistry Tip #1: Love Is Not Chemistry And chemistry is not love. Getting these two confused is a source of problems for many people. Love is a connection that forges between two people over time. Having good chemistry doesn’t mean it’s love… Chemistry is something you feel pretty quickly. The problem arises when we mistake chemistry as love. I will talk more about this in a bit. Love & Chemistry Tip #2: Chemistry Is Sometimes Lust I have to put this out there. Sometimes physical chemistry is just a great excuse to get physical with someone. It can be hard to resist. But if you have physical chemistry, you also need to cultivate a certain amount of self-control and self-discipline. Because if you start with physical chemistry, you can very easily turn that into a relationship if you find that you’re compatible. I’ve had plenty of experiences with physical chemistry turning into very temporary relationships. Mostly because I didn’t show more restraint at jumping into bed with her. Which is why YOU must be careful about your moving too quickly! Love & Chemistry Tip #3: Chemistry is Sometimes CO-DEPENDENCE Codependency is a bad word in psychological circles. It’s not used as much anymore, because people tend toward other terms for it. But it’s still valid. Codependency is when a person relies on the emotional connection to their partner or the relationship in an unhealthy way. They feel as if they can’t survive without their partner and draw most of their self-worth and self-esteem from that person or the relationship. Sometimes these relationships can go really bad. But the important thing to understand is whether or not you’re in an unhealthy relationship with a man. If you feel like you can’t break free from the relationship, or you have psychological connections that you can’t break on your own, you probably should seek some outside professional help. Love & Chemistry Tip #4: Chemistry is Sometimes Just Your Shared Purpose Friends can have great chemistry, too. There are plenty of examples where people have met and connected because of their shared circumstance. Maybe they were both in rehab, or recovery. Sometimes you work closely together and mistake this for chemistry. The passion you share on a project might imitate a romantic connection. Some people meet at a Tony Robbins seminar, or some other kind of self-help conference and feel a thin connection because of this. That’s why it’s important to look at the circumstances around how you met him and make sure they weren’t extraordinary. Love & Chemistry Tip #5: Beware of “Destiny” As Chemistry It’s a common misunderstanding that when we feel a strong connection to someone that it must mean a spiritual connection is there. You might think that you have a connection in a past life, or there is some kind of new age explanation for this feeling you have. While this is certainly possible, the more likely explanation is something more realistic. What you have to watch out for is how quickly you look to a mystical explanation as opposed to a real life explanation. Don’t attribute any “ feeling” you might have for a guy immediately as being a sign that you are meant to be. Whether this is a feeling you are “soulmates” or “twin flames” or whatever. Love & Chemistry Tip #6: Chemistry is sometimes a combination of ingredients Just like any good recipe, The Love Potion you think of as chemistry has a lot of different ingredients in it. The right mix can create amazing chemistry… Here are just a few: Similarity: It’s a widely known fact that people feel a connection to people that seem similar to them. Sometimes this can be misunderstood as being a kind of spiritual connection. Just remember that just because he seems similar to you in many ways, this doesn’t mean he will be a good fit for a relationship. Familiarity: Very often this feeling that a guy seems so “familiar” to you can be misunderstood as being a kind of spiritual connection because of the weird “deja vu” sensation you feel around him. Don’t be blinded by notions of “mystical romance.” Contrary: Sometimes you mistake a man who is so different from your last boyfriend as being a special connection or chemistry. In reality, you may have had a really bad relationship with someone, and you find yourself seeking the opposite in a guy. If you’ve ever heard yourself say ”He’s nothing like (ex boyfriend)! It feels so good!” you may be making a mistake about this. Mysterious: We are all attracted to mystery. The unknown. Maybe it’s because you had so many other guys who unloaded their life story in the first two hours of your first date. But when you meet a guy who seems quietly confident because he doesn’t talk about his past, you might find yourself intrigued. You might find his mysteriousness feels like chemistry. Earnest & Sincere: Our primitive brains are always checking to make sure that the person we’re talking to seems truthful. Honest. And the more sincere and eager he seems, the more you will interpret this to mean something special. So watch for his sincerity! Scents: A little unknown fact is that odors actually indicate certain kinds of compatibility. And yes, how someone smells can trigger that feeling of chemistry between you! (After all, that’s how most women choose the perfumes they wear.) There’s a lot of complicated biology here, but you may find a lot of subconscious decisions are made about who you feel chemistry with. Humor: One of the most consistent indicators of Attraction is how much a woman finds a guy funny. If he makes you laugh, you will probably feel a strong chemistry with him. (But also stay alert! Keep in mind that this is one of the easiest ways for a guy to fool you!) Love & Chemistry Tip #7: Stay grounded The more you seem confident and relaxed – AND the more he seems confident – the more likely you will find each other attractive. And yes, you’ll also feel undeniable chemistry with each other. This is because confidence and security in ourselves transmits energy. One of the best thing you can do is to keep yourself relaxed and calm with any guy you meet. The connection will feel more real and the chemistry will follow. Love & Chemistry Tip #8: Curiosity is Contagious The number one enemy of chemistry is fear. And the opposite of fear is curiosity. Think about it: If you’re curious and seeking understanding, you can’t be afraid. And that’s the best attitude you can bring to any relationship! A couple things you can do: Share your own stories that match his stories. Ask questions that bring out details of him and his life Stay curious about him. And stay curious about your relationship. The more we discover about each other, the more chemistry we create. Love & Chemistry Tip #9: Understand Body Language Do you know how to read a man’s signals…? One of the most powerful tools for creating chemistry is understanding and using body language to your benefit. Do you know the signals that men give off that say he’s interested? Do you know how to mirror him to bring out attraction? Do you know what men are looking for in your body language? It’s vitally important to understand how to use your posture, your eyes, and every part of you to generate chemistry with him. We lost touch with our bodies and understanding how to use them this way. Body language signals work on a subconscious frequency with men. That’s why it’s one of the most important methods. Love & Chemistry Tip #10: Chemistry is Compounding! The reality is that chemistry is created by multiple factors coming together. It’s rarely just one thing. When you can stack body language with curiosity with some of the other factors I’ve talked about in these tips, you can create undeniable attraction with almost any man. The more of these tips you use, the better your connection and chemistry will be. And the romance will just flow naturally. Here are the signs you have chemistry in your relationship… Chemistry Sign #1: There were Sparks right off the bat This is probably the most obvious one. When you meet a guy and you feel that click right off the bat – almost instantly. Fireworks? Or chemistry? In fact, it’s almost hard to keep your hands off him. And this is where the problem usually starts. Because you have such a strong physical connection, you’re more likely to dive into a relationship with this guy than just leaving it as a hook up. Or a short-term Romance. There’s nothing wrong with either of them. Until you try and forge a relationship out of something that doesn’t have the potential. That’s when you find out there’s nothing there. And you can’t build a lasting love from a casual spark. However, this next sign might confuse you: Sign #2: Maybe there weren’t sparks right off the bat… Sometimes the chemistry doesn’t show up on that all-important first date. It can happen. But if you were fortunate enough to decide to go for a second date, just to give it another try – or maybe you were desperate, hey – you might have found that you did have some physical attraction. Sometimes the chemistry doesn’t show up instantaneously. That’s okay. That’s why I always advise women to give a guy at least a second chance. (But if the chemistry doesn’t show up on that second date, it’s probably not going to show up on the 3rd. So let it die out right there.) Sign #3: The compatibility shows up too… Sometimes you get lucky and hit it out of the park: You feel not only that ZING When you’re with him but you also feel that you two have a lot in common. This is an excellent sign and it’s one that you should focus on. Again, this doesn’t mean that your relationship is destined for heaven or even marriage. But it gives you two of the most important building blocks of a relationship: Attraction and compatibility. Sign #4: In the Body… As I mentioned earlier, body language is essential for creating chemistry. If you see signs of Attraction from his body language, pay attention. Men broadcast their interest in you in many different ways. His body language will be the easiest one for you to spot. Sign #5: You Both Like Seinfeld Okay, maybe you don’t both like just Seinfeld, but if you share the same favorite comedians, that’s a big sign. When we share a sense of humor, we immediately share a very basic level of connection and chemistry. It’s one of the best signs that this person is a good fit for you. So if you like the same comedy movies, comedians, cartoons – whatever, this is a good sign that you have chemistry. Sign #6: You find it easy to be honest… One of the important signs of chemistry is that communication just seems to flow. You’ll probably find it easy to talk about things that are slightly embarrassing with him. What this means is that you don’t fear this connection or a loss of affection by being vulnerable. Which is essential for your future communication. If you find yourself revealing stuff from your past with him, and it’s not due to alcohol consumption, there’s a good chance your chemistry is solid. And this sign also speaks to your compatibility. Sign #7: You just can’t keep your hands to yourself… Yeah, sometimes the sexual chemistry just manages to override everything. You can’t keep your hands off each other, and any chance you get you are jumping in bed. You know this kind of wild monkey love, don’t you? Now, of course this particular sign of chemistry is one of the ones we don’t want to question. Because it feels so good, you just want to enjoy it. Don’t confuse sex with chemistry. But you have to be careful because it can also be one of the most misleading when it comes to starting a real relationship. If the physical part of your romance overshadows the rest – especially if it’s too early – you can very easily derail the train of Love. There’s a balance you have to strike when you start dating a guy you have a strong chemistry with. And it’s even more important – because you know how hard it is to find a guy you have that kind of physical connection with! How do you avoid the mistakes so you don’t ruin the chemistry between you? How do make sure the spark of desire doesn’t fade out? How do make sure you don’t wind up just a “friends with benefits”? Where he just calls you at 2:00 AM to “come hang out…”? Let’s face it: Most women do not get the kind of success they deserve with men. To put it bluntly, most women don’t do very well with men. Even when she gets a boyfriend, all you see is how deeply disconnected the two of them are. (I’m sure you’ve sensed this around a lot of couples. I know I have…) You want a REAL relationship. A heartfelt connection with a man that you can TRUST in! To do this, you gotta have a powerful CONNECTION with him. UN-breakable Connection! There’s a simple trick to getting him to feel like you’re the One for him – just based on the power of your connection to him. Where you never have to worry about him getting bored of you (or the relationship…) You’ll never have to fear him falling for another woman… I just put the finishing touches on a video presentation that explains this Secret To Connection to you… Go watch it now! DISCOVER THE SECRETS OF UNBREAKABLE CONNECTION HERE

She Said She Was Unhappy and Left Me. What Now?
Life gives us unexpected lessons at every turn — which means that even your ideal relationship could turn sour. Maybe you’ve had to accept a tough reality: She said she was unhappy and left me. Now what? If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Experts say women are more likely to be unhappy in relationships, especially marriages. Regardless, I hope my story can help you. Though I’ve been with my partner Tom for almost nine years, I went through a period where I became somewhat unhappy with our relationship and actually took a break from it to find myself. I went on a 40-day vision quest this summer, where I traveled to Colorado and Wisconsin. During this time, Tom and I were broken up, though we both hoped to get back together and I didn’t move anything out of our home. Sometimes other people’s stories can help us figure out our own lives. So I’m going to share the reasons why I left and how we navigated the process. If She Said She Was Unhappy, Consider These Factors This isn’t meant to be a prescription for happiness. But working through these issues did help Tom and I. Hopefully they can make a difference for you, too. See if any of these factors could have contributed to your girlfriend saying she was unhappy. (As they say in recovery, simply take whatever you can use and leave the rest.) 1. Losing the “Spark” In long-term relationships, it’s easy to stop planning date nights and to take your partner for granted, especially when you’re around each other 24/7. Mystery is the key to sexual tension and it’s especially hard to have any during Corona, when you’re living and working together. This is a common problem that probably everyone struggles with. To combat this, I enrolled in my own sex coaching program to learn more about my own sexuality and to explore strategies that could improve desire with my partner. I also learned that I needed to communicate more with my partner about my sexual wants and needs. Some of my wants were scary to talk about, as I’d always been taught to hide that part of myself. But through coaching and working with a counselor, I was able to gain enough confidence to articulate the things I liked, even though I knew they weren’t the same as what he liked. This helped us to begin exploring new avenues that made intimacy exciting again. It’s a continual work-in-progress but in my life, I’ve found that when things aren’t working and I don’t know how to fix them, then it’s time to call in the experts. If you’re interested in learning more about sex coaching, check out this article. 2. Fear of Commitment Women can fear commitment just like many men do. Coming from a divorced household, I’m terrified of getting divorced myself. That said, I’m almost nine years into my relationship. I’m also 34, the age when it’s nearing the end for baby-making. Fear of divorce paired with impending motherhood is a lot to stomach all at once. I know in a lot of ways, it’s do-or-die time. The fear of failure makes me want to run away from the possibility of it, which is a huge reason (subconsciously speaking) why I left. Luckily, years of working with my own team of coaches and counselors helped me to identify my inner saboteur. Finally, I saw more clearly what my subconscious mind has been doing. Tom has also been really wonderful. He’s a rock. His support and secure attachment kept us afloat throughout the process. Even while I “acted out” all over the place, he held the vision of what he believed we could be. This helped me to see it, too. If you’re dating a woman who’s doing what I did, hold tight. Keep holding that vision of what you believe you can be together. Demonstrate secure attachment, communicate openly and honestly, and let her know when she’s hurting you. Try to understand what’s happening for her and if possible, go to couples counseling. 3. The Ex When her ex comes back into the picture, she may suddenly say she’s unhappy in the relationship. But it could be happening for a reason. Example: A man I dated right before Tom suddenly reached out one day. Back when I first met this man, it was love at first sight. So when he came back, I was torn. Why would the universe send someone I loved so strongly back while I was in a relationship with someone else? My guilt over loving more than one man was a huge reason why I temporarily ended things with Tom. I felt as though the feelings I was having were “wrong.” However, in the end, the process taught me that I’m polyamorous. Realizing this truth was difficult because my partner wasn’t and didn’t want to be. So I’m still learning how to navigate that reality. It will likely continue to evolve in order to help me better understand myself. Needless to say, things with the ex who came back unraveled quickly. It reminded me why we’d never been able to make it work long-term in the past. But here’s the thing. Communicating with my ex, rather than just blocking the connection, allowed me to compare him with Tom. That made me feel so much more grateful for the kind and thoughtful things Tom does, and for the way he makes me feel safe, loved, and supported. I took these things for granted before. If you’re going through this with your girlfriend, be patient. Understand that she might need to explore this old relationship in order to learn more about herself and fully choose you. So give her a little space to do it. 4. Predictability Predictability in a relationship is fine for someone who hates change or prefers a ton of structure, but it can wreak havoc on the adrenaline junkie who looks for novelty at every turn — or the addict who always looks to escape. This was definitely me. I live for the thrill of the adrenaline rush. I love that feeling of risk and the reward that comes with it. Probably because I grew up in a chaotic environment and I learned that risk and uncertainty were part of life. They seem to have become woven into my DNA. Corona made our life more predictable than usual in a lot of ways. The combination of being with the same person for so long, paired with the monotony of Corona-living made the thrill-seeker in me want to shake things up. As I’ve been going through recovery, I also learn that I love to escape. Drinking used to be my escape, but I’d stopped and no longer had a way to deal with uncomfortable feelings. So when the predictability of our relationship became too much to handle, I escaped to Colorado to avoid dealing with it. If you’re dating a woman with a drinking problem or any other kind of addiction, ask her to go to a meeting. Do it repeatedly. It’s hard for us to hear when we’re deep in the addiction, but say it anyway. Tom did this, and I went into recovery. Tom and I also got sponsors. Tom’s sponsor explained that it was very normal for me to want to escape the relationship and suggested that Tom hold on until I’d been sober at least 90 days. My sponsor also advised that I not make any huge changes in the first year of recovery. This advice was really priceless. Without it, I don’t know if we would’ve gotten back together. So, if you’re in a similar situation, get help. It’s not an easy process but it is worthwhile. 5. Feeling Trapped If your girlfriend said she was unhappy and left, she might have felt trapped. Feeling trapped can happen at any point in a relationship. It happened for Tom when I first moved into his apartment. It happened the first week we got our new puppy. It’s likely to happen again when we get married and have kids. Feeling trapped is common and normal. It’s just another thing you have to work through. I didn’t realize this at first, which was another reason why I left. I was afraid of the idea of being “trapped” with someone, especially after discovering that I’m a polyamorous person in a monogamous relationship. But this isn’t a reason to abort the relationship; it’s just an opportunity to create a new framework for what you do have. When Tom feels trapped, we strategize ways for him to find his own space, take a trip with the guys, get away for a few days, etc. I stopped feeling as trapped when I shared my discovery that I was polyamorous with Tom. Being able to communicate, especially about those challenging topics, can be a game-changer. But it’s still not easy. We’ve had several arguments. The good news is, they always allow us to better understand each other and to explore new ways of handling things. So, don’t be afraid if she says she feels trapped. Communicate how you’re feeling while doing your best to give her the space you need. 6. Loss of Identity Especially if you’ve been with your partner for a long time, you can almost start to forget who you are as an individual. Maybe that’s why she said she was unhappy and left you. This was the case for me. Tom and I had spent so many years together that the music we listened to, the movies we watched, the time we went to bed — all of it — had become a sort of compromise. We’d learned how to accommodate each together so well that it had become unclear who we were separately. Taking time apart allowed me to see what I did on my own. And the ways I spent my time were largely different when I was alone. This helped me to remember what was important to me and why I’d gotten into the relationship in the first place. It’s important to maintain our own sovereignty in romantic relationships. If a woman you’re dating or in a relationship with is asking for this, honor it. It will be good for both of you. 7. Self-Doubt If the woman you’re dating often asks you why you love her, that can be a sign that she’s started to feel unworthy of your love. She may even decide she’s unhappy and leave because of it. While it has nothing to do with you, it can be unsettling, because you know you can’t “prove” your love. This one is tough for me to admit, but one of the reasons I left was because I didn’t feel I deserved Tom. In recovery, you uncover a lot of less-than-ideal truths about yourself. You face all the wrongs we’ve done and the bad behavior you’ve made our partners put up with. Once you see that, it can be difficult to understand why someone else would love you. But self-discovery often brings up periods of self-doubt. Eventually, you come to realize your negative thoughts about yourself aren’t true. So expect some turbulence if she says she’s unhappy. Give her time and space to work through the steps while showing her that you love her. Even If She Said She Was Unhappy, Don’t Give Up Hearing someone you care about say they’re unhappy and want to leave can be heartbreaking. It can drive you to extremes. So here’s my final advice: Don’t be a doormat… but don’t give up on love, either. Especially if you’ve been together through thick and thin already. You can bring your relationship back to a better place. You also can choose to let it go, but only you know in your heart what is right. Trust your feelings. If you do decide to get back out there and date (or, if you’re still looking for that special someone) do reach out to me. While I can’t promise a perfect relationship, we can find the perfect person for you.
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5 Signs He’s Dating Other Women [RUN!]
Have you ever started dating a new guy and wondered how to know if he’s still dating other women? It’s totally acceptable for him (and you) to be seeing other people up to a certain point. I’m all about keeping your options open until you find someone special who is worth giving up your singleness for. But if you think you’re dating this guy exclusively, then it’s time to make sure that you are. I work with so many women who ignore obvious signs that their guy is still dating other women. You deserve so much more than a man who is treating you like an option. So, it’s time to find out if he’s secretly seeing other women on the side. If he is, RUN as fast as you can away from this guy. [embedded content] Remember, actions speak far louder than words. He might be saying all the right things, but pay attention to the little details. These are your clue to his real feelings and intentions. Don’t give him the benefit of the doubt—he sure as hell hasn’t earned that yet. If something feels strange or off, listen to and trust those feelings. Your intuition as a woman is a superpower, so start trusting it. It will never steer you wrong. Have you ever seen any of these signs and ignored them? How did that work out for you? Drop me a comment below. Your Coach, Also, if you’d like to join me on a brand new webinar to learn “why men flake, avoid commitment and consistently ghost until they meet a woman who’s following these 7 simple steps”, then register here (it’s 100% free). Share the Love

How to Succeed on Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge as a Guy
Every once in a while there comes along some crazy advent that completely disrupts life as we know it. I’m talking about the printing press, the Model T, the telephone, the Internet, etc. For singles, the most recent disruptor has been dating apps. I’ll admit it seems a bit out of place to position dating apps next to the television and vaccines. But think about how dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge have completely changed dating. Prior to dating apps, the most popular ways to meet women were through friends, at bars, at work, or via a religious event. You had to physically get out of the house, go to events, and talk to stranger IRL. But this is no longer the case. Sure you can still hit up Jeff’s party and meet single women, but this just isn’t as common as it used to be. A 2017 Stanford study found that 39% of all new heterosexual relationships started in 2017 started online. By and large, the most popular way to meet your partner nowadays is via an app. According to Pew Research, 43% of those aged 18-49 have at one time used a dating app. While swiping for your cinderella was not too long ago considered taboo, dating apps are now widely accepted as an integral part of singledom. Being how vital they are to any single man’s search for a partner, it’s important that you know how to succeed on dating apps. However, the fact that everyone uses them isn’t exactly in your favor. Dating apps are notoriously known as sausage-fests. The number of male users more often than not heavily outweighs the number of female users. This means that to attract the attention of a female you’ve got to have a pretty kick-ass profile. That’s where we come in. How to Succeed on Tinder, Bumble, & Hinge As a Guy It’s All About The Photos The first thing you should know about dating apps is this, they’re superficial. I don’t care if the app advertises itself as the least superficial app in the land. That may be so, but being the least superficial doesn’t mean it isn’t superficial (looking at you Hinge). That being said, you’ll need to work overtime to ensure that your photos are competitive. So what do competitive photos look like? Men that have the best results take professional photos, smile, don’t wear sunglasses, and don’t try to look cool. You need to show her you’re not a serial killer, weirdo, or sniff glue, which is surprisingly difficult to do. Not smiling, using blurry selfies taken on your iPhone 5, wearing sunglasses, etc. is all going to make her think you might be a weirdo. My clients who opt for professional photos almost always see a drastic increase in both the number of matches they get on the apps and the quality of the women they attract. Photos are the barrier to entry these days. Mediocre ain’t gonna cut it when you’re competing against thousands of other men for the interest of a woman who’s being bombarded by profiles and comparing accordingly. In my group or private coaching programs, I teach my clients about the 6 photo archetypes they need to have on their profile to be competitive as well as a list of things to avoid so they don’t come across creepy, lame, or killery. You can learn more about that here. Also, be sure to test your photos on Photofeeler to ensure they’re competitive. You’re looking for a minimum of 20 votes and a score above an 8/10 in at least 1 of the 3 dating categories. If your photos are performing below this threshold, that is why you’re not getting the quality or quantity of matches you want. Take professional photos, smile, don’t wear sunglasses, and don’t try to look cool. Every photo you take should be clear and not obscure your face. Each photo should serve a different purpose. Use Specific Keywords That Polarize Your Audience In my coaching programs, I give my clients a dating profile template that guarantees they’ll get more matches with more compatible women. Simplistically though, the algorithms on dating apps (in part) use keyword matching, which means that if you say you like to “travel,” the apps will match you with other women who say they like to “travel.” But if you get specific and instead say you like to travel to Morocco and Egypt, now you’ll get matches that say they like to travel to Morroco and Egypt. Imagine what else you might have in common if you share those very specific travel destinations in common. Think about listing things like favorite books (title and author), favorite movies and tv shows, favorite musicians, etc. But you don’t only write your profile for the algorithm. Every profile should be short enough to read in a matter of seconds, show the reader who you are without merely listing things, and of course be well written. Also keep in mind that writing things that might be dealbreakers is actually a good idea. You don’t want to cast a wide net only to find out that once you’ve caught some fish, half the catch wants nothing to do with you. Broadcast that you are divorced, are 5’5″, or that you have an unhealthy relationship with manga. Why waste your time attracting or trying to attract someone that isn’t into the unchangeable aspects of who you are? The superficial attraction you manage will snap the second you two meet in person. Also, remember that opposites don’t attract. That’s some bs Hollywood line trope we’ve been force-fed for far too long. Be unabashed about showcasing who you are. The more unique your profile the more you’ll stand out and attract similar women. Being Cliché Is A Sin Here’s the deal. Yes, dating apps are competitive. Tinder has a 9-1 male to female ratio with Bumble boasting a lackluster 7-3 ratio. But when we dig deeper we see that these men more so resemble vapid bots than complex individuals. Here’s the deal, 99% of men are all doing the same thing on the apps. They’re sending the same messages: Hi, How are you, How was your weekend, hey cutie, hola, etc. You don’t need a dating coach to tell you that these messages suck. They’re trite and add no value to a woman’s life. In order to stand out in a saturated market of “hey there’s” you need to craft a message that adds value to a woman’s life. Consider what you can say to her that would actually make her want to respond to you, because,”Hey” ain’t it brother. In my program, I teach the exact formula to use in your message to capture women’s attention so they read, respond, and say “yes” to your date invitations. Messaging in this way can be challenging without expert guidance because you might get stuck in analysis paralysis, spending 30 minutes or more on one message to a woman that will never even get read because she just started dating Brad, the hot beach towel guy that approached her on Saturday. You don’t want to get stuck in analysis paralysis because messaging is a numbers game and it’s all about quality and quantity. The fastest way to master this art is to work with me. Ultimately, you need to send a message that is compelling to the woman in question. Something that isn’t what every other guy is sending. Something that shows her you know about one of the topics on her profile. Adding value in this way will make her feel as though you have a lot in common and will make her curious to learn more about you. You also need to be VERY persistent. Don’t just give up if you don’t get a response the first time. Contact her at least three times. If you can’t connect with her on the apps, find her on social media and reach out that way. The persistent man gets the girl. Women love persistence because it demonstrates to us that you can keep us safe. If you go after what you want without apology, we subconsciously know that you’re resourceful, which is what we’re looking for. The guy that gives up after one try will never get the woman of his dreams. So if you’re scared of rejection, just create a system that you always use in the exact same way. My system is to try 3 times before calling it quits. I do it every time and because of my consistency, I know when someone is lashing out for no reason (if they wig out about my follow-ups) because it happens so rarely. I can then separate myself from their projection and not take it personally because I’ve done it a million times (reached out to different people using the exact same process). Be methodical in your messaging. It’s an art and a science and it’s a lot easier with the help of an expert that’s been there. Understand Your Audience Each app caters to a unique user. Tinder for example is primarily used by young singles between the ages fo 18-25. It’s a favorite among college students and recent grads. Its youthful userbase means that most Tinderellas will be more so interested in short-term flings. Bumble is what Tinder users graduate to. Bumble is considered to be the feminist version of Tinder. But really, this is more so a marketing scheme than a reality. The main difference in users is that Bumble users are more socially conscious and demand more refined and respectful messaging than Tinder users. Expect to invest more in Bumble users than those of Tinder. Hinge is where singles go if they’re done with the app game and finally want to settle down. Hinge uses a series of search preferences that filter away singles that aren’t deemed compatible with the search user. In this way, a Hinge user can quickly filter out women and focus on women that they’re more likely to have a connection with. Do a bit of research on how these apps work and who uses them in order to figure out how to succeed on Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. Get In And Get Out The point of a dating app is to meet up with women IRL. It isn’t to increase your self-esteem by racking up matches or finding your new digital pen pal. You should exchange no more than about 10 messages before making plans with your match. Ask for her number or use a TDL to ask her out. Don’t feel the need to know everything about her before asking her out. You’ll learn more about her on the first date. You should feel comfortable asking her on a first date despite knowing little about her, because of how first dates work. If you adhere to our MegaDating blueprint then you should never fret about a first date. This is because a MD-approved first date lasts no longer than an hour. Also no more than $10 should be spent on a first date. In a worst-case scenario where you know the moment you greet her that she isn’t your type, you need only spend a single hour with her before departing. It may sound odd, but tell me which sounds weirder. Spending 4 hours with a stranger while dining on a 3-course meal, or strolling through a park for an hour while enjoying ice cream? Why would you sign up to spend a copious amount of time and money on a woman you may never see again? My MegaDating blueprint will never lead you awry. Start Dating! Embarking on the digital journey alone can be daunting. So don’t go it alone. Team up with me and learn how to succeed on dating apps. Book a 1-on-1 Zoom session today so that we can begin creating your romantic blueprint. We’ll discuss your roadblocks, create a strategy, and also determine whether one of my coaching or matchmaking programs could be right for you!

3 Tips for Overcoming Some of The Biggest Challenges that Show Up in Over 50’s Dating
3 Tips for Overcoming Some of The Biggest Challenges that Show Up in Over 50’s Dating Let’s be honest here . . . no one was born knowing how to date so when challenges come up, you may not know what to do. In today’s blog, I’m going to share 3 tips for how to handle 3 of these challenges that can make dating a lot easier for you. So let’s get started. Tip #1 . . . He shows up but he’s not who you thought he was How many times have you looked at a man’s profile and thought for sure he was the one? Yet when you met, he was nothing like the guy you saw online or spoke with on the phone. Here’s why this could be happening to you. Between the time you’ve seen a man’s profile and the time you finally meet, chances are you’ve imagined what life with this new guy might be like. What you’re doing is creating a story about who you think he is based on his profile and pictures, some emails or texts, and a phone call or two. And when you meet, the story you created doesn’t match up to the man who shows up. I see this happen over and over again to women. It’s why I recommend going on a date with the intention of meeting someone new and interesting. No expectations. No creative stories about who he might be. If you do this, it will save you a lot of heartache and frustration! Tip #2 . . . Coffee, Drinks or Dinner on a meet and greet I’m often asked the question, “Should I do coffee or meet for dinner if it’s a meet and greet?” Here’s my answer . . . Coffee or drinks gives you a fairly quick out if you need one. If things are going well, you can always continue getting to know each other over dinner. Sitting down for a long meal with someone you don’t know; while having to be at your best with someone you’ve never met; can be exhausting if the date’s not going well. Both ways work. Just have exit strategies in place in case the date starts heading south. Tip #3 . . . Handling rejection I know it feels like rejection when you don’t get a second date you really want. What used to help me get over this need to be loved by everyone including the men I really had no interest in was to remember this mantra . . . He’s not personally rejecting you. You just don’t match the picture of who he thinks he wants in his life. You’ve probably done the same thing with many of the men you’ve met. Think of all the guys you’ve turned down because they didn’t fit your picture of Mr. Right. As tempting as it is, promise me you won’t write, text, or call him if the date doesn’t work out. Move on to the next guy because your goal is to have someone who wants you in his life. These are the types of issues that come up in over 50’s dating and they can drive you crazy when you have nowhere to turn for answers. You don’t have to figure out over 50’s dating on your own anymore. The Love after 50 Group Coaching Program is filled with amazing women just like you who have been successful in life but are struggling with love. As a member of the Find Love After 50 Group, you’ll be getting all the tools you need to find the right man along with the support you want to make your dream come true. Interested? If so, let’s set up a time to talk about how this may be the solution you’ve been looking for in your love life. Just click here to set up a time for us to chat. Here’s what’s been happening in Susie’s life since joining the Love after 50 Coaching Group . . . I am now with my honey for a bit over 6 months and he just took me to a jewelry store and had me pick out a ring for Valentine’s day! Not an engagement ring but a diamond ring to show I am “taken”. Engagement later! Not quite ready yet. Thanks, Lisa Copeland. He makes me so happy. Susie, Colorado Hugs~ Love this article? Sign up by clicking here to receive my weekly blog. Copyright© 2021 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved. On February 18, 2021 / Companionship after 50, Dating After 50, Dating Challenges after 50, Dating Mindset after 50, Meeting Men Over 50, Mindset after 50, Mistakes Women Make Dating After 50, Relationship potential after 50, Relationships after 50, Successful Single Women over 50

What Film Makes Her Drop Her Panties Before the Credits? (Hint: It’s NOT Porn)
There’s a Movie That Will Make Her Horny… And You’ll Both Be Naked Before the Popcorn is Gone Click Here to Discover the Subtle 3-Touch Sequence That Gets Her Soaking Wet, Naked & On Top of You In Bed… Relationships are tricky. There are so many steps: meeting a woman, first dates, third dates, keeping things fresh… Every step of the way is filled with landmines: Go this direction, and BOOM — she blows up. Go that direction, KAPOW! your sex life is boring and stale… What if I told you there’s one movie you can watch with a hot girl that has all the answers? TRENDING: These 3 Tinder Secrets Get Hot Girls to Come Over & Hookup… Dating… attraction… love… romance… flirting… this movie will brush up on all of those skills. I make all my clients watch it, almost as a master class in dating. And the best part… you can learn so much from watching it alone… But if you watch it with a woman, she finds it so hot… it’s almost like watching porn… though given that Scarlett Johanson and Penelope Cruz are in it… it’s unfortunately NOT porn. 🙁 Every time I have watched this movie with a woman, we have had sex before the movie ended. Every. Single. Time. Watch the video to find out what this movie is… and how it can even help you start the conversation about having a threesome: Catch The Full Video Transcript Below… Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Remember the name of this movie; it is one of the best movies I have ever seen. Everyone who comes to my workshop, I make them watch this movie. If you want to learn dating, if you want to master your attraction skills, your love skills, your romance skills, or your flirting skills: This is the movie to watch. Keep scrolling for more details on the #1 movie that will make her horny… I love this movie, because in this movie, they show two couples going through a romantic journey and you see a complete contrast. One couple, who’s all business-y they’re always talking about business. And the dates are boring as hell. On the other side, a different couple is enjoying their life. They go out and have picnics, paint together, they do things together, and they have a nice romantic, fun life…. On top of that, that is something very interesting you see in that movie, that is Scarlett Johansson’s relationship. You see that her relationship with her ex husband is full of conflict– and then they find a balance when a new person comes into their life. So when you watch a movie like this, you start to realize that relationships take place in many different forms. There is no one way there is no right or wrong way. And your thoughts about how to handle your dealings with women change. Your expectations about love, relationships, and sex, completely changes. It did that for me. And it did that for most of my clients who have watched this movie. Make Her Dream About a Threesome… Tonight Another good thing about this movie is if you are ever dating a woman, and for some reason have stalled, (she likes you but somehow that sexual tension is dying and the sex is not happening) make sure you sit and watch this movie with her. It’s happened to me on a few occasions where things have stalled, things were just not going anywhere. We were together not knowing what’s coming next, not knowing what we should do next. Every time I watched this movie with them, sex happened before the movie ended. And it’s because when you watch this movie, you see so many liberating themes. The guy approaches a girl and says straightaway, “Let’s go and make love.” THE LATEST: 3 Secret “Touch Tricks” That Get Hot Girls Soaking Wet, Naked & On Top of You In Bed! And then there are amazing love making scenes to a point where it’s almost like porn to women. I have had a woman sitting next to me watching this say: “What are we watching? This feels like porn…” And they get aroused… When women watch this movie they experience a mental shift. They can change when they start a new relationship, and that a new relationship can happen in many ways. So whatever obstacles they had in their mind, whatever objection that was holding them back — it disappears because this movie. The subject matter of this movie frees them to become more willing to cross the boundaries, to take the chance to try something new… and your relationship takes off. Also this is a great movie to watch if you’re someone who wants to explore open relationships, swinging, or threesome. This movie shows you that love does not have to be traditional. You can still be with someone, really love them, and explore other possibilities. Bring in other people into the mix, be with other people, and your love can be intact. In fact, the movie conveys that often, having other people into the mix can make your relationship come to life and make it much stronger. It has many great themes that can help your relationship and any and every aspect that you’re dealing with. I highly recommend you watch this movie. You’re going to learn a lot about dating & relationships. And you can use this to jumpstart your existing relationship. You can watch this movie and it will strengthen your bonds. It will help you both open up more relaxed around each other overall, you’re going to benefit in many, many ways. If She’s Not Making the First Move… Do THIS to Move Things Forward… So if for some reason she still seems cold or a little “distant” when you watch this movie… (maybe she’s really tired or had a long day at work for example)… Try touching her like this ← Believe it or not… women need “green lights” to keep escalating to sex too. Like if you’re not pushing forward toward sex… a lot of women think: “I really want to have sex with him… am I not attractive enough? Why isn’t he going for it?” Now this isn’t “I wish he’d feel me up and unzip my pants while the opening credits are rolling…” It takes a little bit of finesse… and often times the most successful touches? Are really kinda “friendly” and “under-the radar”… and not so “overt.” Well… at least at first. There’s a very specific order of touches that does get a girl really hot-and-bothered… enough to where she’ll unzip you… take you out… and (sometimes) start giving you a hummer within 30 minutes of the movie starting… So if THAT sounds like something you’re interested in… some very “friendly” touches that turn things really sexual with a hot girl, REALLY fast… I made a free video showing you how to do them right here: 3 “Turn-On Touches” That Result in Fast Sex With Hot Girls P.S. – Remember how I mentioned that the order of these touches is crucial? Yeah–I’ll show you the correct order and how to do each touch in the video–click here to watch it now… Share this…

Should I stay or should I go? Here are the relationship factors people ponder when deciding whether to break up
Where do you see yourself in five years? It’s a standard job interview question, but it’s an even better question to ask yourself about your relationship. The person you talk to, date, move in with, get engaged to, marry, break up with or divorce – it’s all up to you. You’re in the driver’s seat regarding your relationship’s trajectory. Most of the time, you probably cruise along on autopilot, maintaining the status quo. Every once in a while, though, something disrupts that equilibrium and you seriously ponder your relationship’s fate. At some point, most people find themselves facing the complicated decision of whether to stick with it or call it quits. While there’s lots to consider when you’re pondering your own situation, maybe it would be helpful to know how others deal with these important life decisions. Recent research, including my own in the field of relationship science, has explored how people make these choices. Factors when weighing a relationship It feels as if there could be as many reasons someone would decide to maintain or end a relationship as there are relationships. To learn more about what people actually consider, psychology researchers Samantha Joel, Geoff Macdonald and Elizabeth Page-Gould asked over 400 individuals who were questioning their own relationship: “What are some reasons someone might give for wanting to stay with or leave their romantic partner?” Out of all the specific circumstances, 50 common themes emerged. People came up with 27 broad reasons for staying. These focused on key relationship components such as attraction, physical and emotional intimacy and support. People were reluctant to lose the time and effort they had already invested and were fearful of being alone. They considered pluses, such as the desirable aspects of their partner’s personality and how much fun they had together. They also factored in practical issues, including potential family disruption and financial implications. Participants also suggested 23 general reasons to leave. These included many of the same themes as the reasons to stay, but focused on the negative side – things like a partner’s problematic personality, acts of deception or cheating, emotional distance, lack of support and insufficient emotional or physical intimacy. So many reasons, but what to do? Listing these themes is one thing. How do individuals factor them into real-life decisions of whether to stay or go? To find out, the researchers did a follow-up study with over 200 people who were contemplating breaking up or getting a divorce. Roughly half of these participants reported feeling, on balance, more inclined to stay in the troubled relationship. That makes sense – inertia is powerful. Staying often takes the least effort. However, those same exact people simultaneously had an above-average inclination to leave, meaning they rated themselves as leaning toward breaking up. See the problem? Participants were motivated to stay with their partner at the same time they were motivated to end things. And this ambivalence was very common. That relationship doubts are so common and people are often conflicted about what to do are what make this kind of research potentially helpful. It lends some order to the chaos by helping to identify what’s most important. A long and winding road Relationship decisions are rarely as clear cut as “should I stay or should I go?” Instead, people experience subtle shifts in their commitment that build up over time. What contributes to these variations in commitment? Relationship researchers Laura Machia and Brian Ogolsky sought to find out by interviewing participants in stable relationships. At each of eight monthly interviews, 464 participants indicated how serious their relationship was by rating how likely it was they’d marry their current partner – “0% if they were certain they would never marry their partner or never thought about marriage, and 100% if they were certain they would marry their partner in the future.” Each time their “commitment to wed” percentage shifted from one interview to the next, researchers asked why. Participants expressed a lot of reasons for commitment fluctuations – 13,598, to be exact. The researchers distilled them down to 14 key themes. The most influential reasons were positive and negative characterizations of the partner and relationship. These included direct statements about the partner – such as “he was fun, considerate and kind” – or about them as a couple – such as “we were drifting apart.” As you’d expect, positive statements related more to increased commitment, while negative statements were associated with declines. The next-most-mentioned reason was circumstances – unforeseen events or experiences such job loss, a partner becoming ill or needing to move. Interestingly, this kind of life change could either increase or decrease an individual’s commitment to the relationship. This finding is further evidence that events by themselves – say, a worldwide pandemic – aren’t the sole determinant of a relationship’s fate. A couple’s existing dynamics play a large role too. Out of all the possible reasons that nudged people up or down the commitment scale, there was one that stood out as actually predicting whether a couple would break up: cheating. As much as other factors made people feel more or less likely to consider marriage, involvement with another dating partner was the one true relationship-killer. In the other direction, the study also identified one factor that increased commitment and pushed relationships closer toward marriage: positive disclosure. That’s what psychologists call it when you share information with each other that encourages positive feelings, which in turn supports your relationship. Think exchanging stories about your childhoods, getting to know each other on a deeper level, or sharing good news. These kinds of disclosures strengthen relationships. Love is a decision – and rarely clear cut Relationships are complicated, and no one knows for sure what the future holds. It’s hard to know what the best decision is if you’re thinking about whether to stay with a partner or move on. The best relationships have their issues, while the worst relationships still have their virtues. While you don’t want to get stuck with an awful partner, you also don’t want to be unnecessarily harsh on what could be a great relationship. Maybe knowing what others consider important factors can help you make your own best choice. [Get our best science, health and technology stories. Sign up for The Conversation’s science newsletter.] Gary W. Lewandowski Jr. does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment. Read the original article here — https://theconversation.com/should-i-stay-or-should-i-go-here-are-the-relationship-factors-people-ponder-when-deciding-whether-to-break-up-153707 Signup for Our Newsletter Share This Article

Most Popular Dating Sites For Christians
Online dating websites are ubiquitous these days; instead of searching for partners at traditional places, people sign up on dating websites and start hunting their perfect dating partner. Online dating websites are very accessible and convenient for users around the globe to interact with like-minded people. If you are searching for a Christian male or female with the same interest, you can signup on the most popular dating sites for Christians. Signing up on online dating websites allows you to have an opportunity to meet individuals across cities who reflect their matched interests virtually and availability. The prime aim of online dating websites is to assist their users with dedication and commitment to match them with their ideal soulmates and dating partners. Why Online Dating? Not everyone gets lucky in finding their perfect match, but if you are bold and confident enough, you can quickly introduce yourself to people and plan to meet in person with them. If you are looking for casual hookups and dating, you must ensure you follow all online dating protocols. The prime reason why websites are promoting the culture of online dating is to develop interaction and confidence between Christian males and females so they can understand each other before they meet in person. Online dating is not a walk in the garden; it requires sincerity, determination, and boldness to help you find the best partner. Online dating is a general learning curve for every person, and if you have a partner from a western or far eastern country, you will get to know his or her distinct cultures and traditions. If you are shy and have public fear, online dating is the best tool to improve yourself. People hesitate and cannot express themselves wholly in front of others, so it is recommended to interact online without being judged by your prospect. No one would be judging you on your mistakes, so it is okay to have an experimental approach while searching for the ideal partner for you. Being shy is okay, but it should not stop you from online flirting and talking. Always try to make an attractive and eye-catching profile, and start by accepting and sending requests living across towns or cities. Once you have verified your profile on a dating website, it is your court; you can smash with the word go or take it slowly. It is recommended to avoid the adrenaline rush and start by responding steadily to avoid any future clashes. Many Christian dating websites provide user-friendly interphase, where you can quickly post your daily prayers and religious thoughts. Users tend to regularly publish articles and reply in responses regarding an ongoing conversation. So, dating websites produce an overall good outcome where you are free to comment and make new casual friends. Hundreds of users on that website stalk your every post and comment, so always think before posting. Why Maintain a Good Online Profile? It is true, connections judge you by your profile and picture, so always upload an attractive and appealing display picture. If you are planning to make a profile with a fake name and bio, then don’t! As people tend to get impressions about bogus profiles and block you instantly, so refrain from having bogus accounts. Always express who you are, and the perfect match would bounce at your landing screen; though it is not that easy, you need some luck to go through with it. Usually, people search for people with the same interests and habits, so it is easy to mingle and interact with them. You can always stalk someone’s profile and then start communicating with him or her. You and your profile are being evaluated from the first conversation and post, so always be sharp and react accordingly.Like every digitalized communication, online dating has its worth. People living far across towns and cities can date without any hesitations. A little fling can lead to extended skype calls and facetime. As online dating is a digitalized platform and you need to maintain a good online presence as the one stalking you have not met in person yet. According to relevant sources, more than 16,000,000 people are active on a single dating site on average. Your profile is public, and everyone scrolling through would notice your profile’s features, so establish and maintain your online presence. Never discuss your online dating profile in public, as this might dent your professional reputation, keep your online dating credentials discreet from others. How to Create an Attractive Dating Profile? Online dating websites are diversified platforms, where people from different faces and colors login and try to interact. To seem attractive to everyone stalking your profile, you need to have a clear proper picture; a selfie might do the trick as it is a perfect close-up picture. Add attractive captions with your bio, which might help you in starting a conversation. Once you start feeling comfortable, upload more images from your gallery on your profile and keep it updated. Always remember to add a peculiar detail about you, which might attract any of your connections or a random stalker. Almost every Christian is residing by the next street, start thinking different and give your profile a unique look. Just don’t focus on photos; at times, people begin by noticing the content describing you. Use concise and to the point paragraphs to represent you and your lifestyle. Avoid cliché arguments and quotes, which might end up being noticed by your followers. It is your profile; always remember the first impression is the last, and once your profile seems attractive to your future partner, they might initiate the talk by themselves. Online dating sites show the real potential of people getting into serious relationships and conversations. It is crucial to highlight your vision and approach to how you would go during conversations and what you are looking for in your partner. Keep your vision broad and accept invitations from unexpected people, and stay positive. Does Online Dating Websites Have Secured and Encrypted Platforms? In this highly saturated and classified internet space, every website has its security standard procedures. Users only register themselves at realistic websites and end to end encryption, where online users’ data is not being monitored or sold to any third-party organization. Online dating platforms are secure; they held up all internet protocols complying with users’ safety and privacy. Internationally recognized dating websites run internal security checks on profiles; if they observe a threat, the member is red-flagged, and the account is removed. To avoid any uncertain risks, you must always verify your profile and use dating websites that are reliable and have mass usage. If any website or agent asks you to pay dollars via online transactions in exchange for protecting your identity, refrain from accessing those websites and contacts. Many online dating websites enable you to monitor visitors viewing your profile; you can maintain a vigilant check and balance and then block suspicious or fake profiles. Many online dating websites have 24/7 chat support representatives, assisting you in situations and answering your query. How to Stay Secure on Online Dating Websites? You never know who is actually behind the profile uploaded on the webpage. Do in-depth research about specific dating sites before signing up. Do not fall for ads and fake dating websites, which might dent your data and privacy. Do not throw your contact number to every person you talk to. Take your time, get settled, establish a level of trust and then exchange personal information. Confirm with your partner before scheduling an in-person date, ask them to give a visual on video call before the meeting. Hence, it is easy to identify in public and eliminate all doubts of uncertainty. Do not exploit your social networking usernames; keep all interactions limited to a dating website and its specific chatroom. After a doubtful or fragile meet up with your partner, walk yourself home or prefer public transport, to avoid being tailed. If you meet for the first time with the person you interacted with on an online dating website, keep things simple, don’t try anything fancy, and try to schedule your date in a public space or a public park. While chatting with your partner on the website, do not leak any confidential or classified information, talk general, and then self-evaluate yourself. Run multiple checks of the person you are talking to, do not fall for fake profiles, ask for valid identity before involving yourself much. Do not fall for tricks, lose your money; refrain from getting involved in suspicious networks and groups. Usually, people signup using their nicknames, making it difficult for others to check them on other social media platforms. After going through with your partner, set your long term goals and then plan accordingly. You must always remember that your privacy and security are in your own hands, take baby steps towards online dating, and start flourishing yourself. At, times you might feel that odds are not in your favor, but stay consistent; you might find your true soulmate soon.

When She Acts “Hold & Cold” With You… It’s a GOOD Sign (Here’s Why…)
Why Women Act Hot and Cold… It’s Not You (And How to Change Their Behavior to Hot and Hot) Click Here Now to Discover the Secret Signs She’s H*rny And Wants to Go Home With You… I think almost every guy has experienced this: (I know I have — too many times to count unfortunately lol.) You meet a hot girl and it seems like it’s going great… and then she slams the brakes. She’s texting you back flirty texts… and then she goes totally silent for days. RELATED: 7 Raunchy-As-Hell Sexts That Get Her to Come Over & Strip Down Naked For You… Steamy hot and then icy cold. Yes, yes yes… and then hell no. What is going on with her? Is she crazy? Here’s what I’ve learned… the whole thing of going hot and then cold is normal behavior for women. It’s not you. And instead of hating it or resenting it… you should welcome it., you should welcome it… In this video, I’ll let you in on WHY women behave this way, WHY it’s actually a good thing, and exactly how to turn that behavior around: Catch The Full Video Transcript Below… In today’s video, I want to speak about women going hot and cold. It’s a question I get a lot from guys. I think it’s something that frustrates a lot of men, because men typically don’t think in this way or behave in this way. However, the whole thing of going hot and then cold and hot and cold is kind of a normal occurrence in female behavior. There’s various reasons for that… Women tend to be more in touch with their feelings, their feelings are also affected by their hormone cycle. It’s really important to understand that this is not something wrong with women, it’s not an error in their design. And in fact, if you want to connect with women, it’s something that you need to learn how to approve of and engage with. How to Get Past the Cycle of Hot and Then Cold Obviously, women have this on different levels, such as in initial interactions, early dates or when you’re meeting a woman for the first time. You know, where at first they seem interested and then they’re totally not interested. I’m going to share with you how to overcome that and progress things naturally, instinctively, towards physical intimacy. Keep scrolling to find out exactly why women act hot and cold… I actually discussed this with one of my clients recently, and he provides a great example: He was with a woman who is more attractive than he’s used to interacting with, and it was going well. BRAND-NEW: 3 Secret “Touch Tricks” That Get Her Soaking Wet, Naked & On Top of You In Bed (Even If You’re “Just Friends” Right Now)! In an effort to escalate things sexually, he invited her back to his place. He felt that this was the right time and this is what he was feeling. However it was pretty early on in their interaction, and I think her mind probably was like, “Whoa, Like, this guy’s invited me back to his place already… like this is kind of weird.” So she simply teased him and then pulled back. [adning id=”11083″] But Because He Knew What to Do, the Night Didn’t End There… When you make a bold move like that, you’re leaving yourself vulnerable for rejection. You’re leaving yourself vulnerable for her making fun of you. And the thing that my client did really well, is that he did not get affected. He was like, okay, and he carried on. A lot of guys, when they get rejected, or they experience coldness from a woman that they’re with, they will make it about them. They’ll get butthurt if they think they completely ruined the entire interaction… They run away. They think: “Oh, she didn’t respond positively, I must have done something wrong. I made a wrong move and this interaction is totally ruined.” That’s not true with women. In fact, this is part of the dance in the human mating ritual. Especially with high self esteem women, women who’ve been hit on a ton since they were young. Women who are constantly getting attention from men have developed this as a defense mechanism. They’re not going to welcome every bit of sexual attention, because they don’t know what the guy is going to do when they let them in. They don’t necessarily want to be vulnerable with everyone. In Order to Score, You Gotta Take a Shot In the beginning guys are typically the ones putting themselves out there in a vulnerable situation. They can get rejected, they can get hurt or whatever. But… everything after she opens up and says she likes him or sleeps with him or puts herself in an emotionally vulnerable situation… Everything after that is harder for the woman. Because when she puts herself in a vulnerable situation, she could get physically hurt, as well as emotionally. (Discover what women really want with this leaked data.) So that going cold sometimes is a very important mechanism for her safety. The most important thing when you’re dealing with a woman who is going hot and cold, is to make sure you remember what’s actually happening. This is what we mean by being grounded. On a mental level, you need to stay grounded in the face of challenge and adversity. So check your reality: I am okay. She’s okay. The situation’s okay. Just because I made this sexual invitation and it wasn’t met with the outcome that I preferred doesn’t mean anything is ruined. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong. It’s totally okay. Remember: The Game Isn’t Over (In Fact, It’s Just Getting Started) Let’s keep the sports analogy going: Just because the other team scores (she went cold) doesn’t mean the game is over. It doesn’t mean that you have to feel hurt. It doesn’t mean that you quit. It’s just something that happened. You didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe this wasn’t the thing she wanted to do at that moment. But you can’t be ashamed, because that’s one of the worst things you can do, if what you say isn’t met positively. You can’t be ashamed of your desire. Just because you have a desire doesn’t mean that she has the same desire at the same time. But, you should never feel bad about expressing your desire as long as you’re ok with the answer and are not violating any boundaries. Hot/Cold Is Good. Lukewarm/Cold Is Bad. Women can be hard to read. She’s acting hot. Does she want you? For something to become sexual at some point, somebody has to make an explicit move. It could be literally making a statement of intention like, “Hey, I find you attractive,” or “Hey, I want to kiss you.” Or it might be a physical action that makes it undeniable that that’s your intention: You lean in for a kiss or you touch her in a way that platonic friends don’t touch each other. That barrier has to be broken at some point. And if she’s going hot and cold and hot and cold, maybe she’s unsure or whatever. But it’s important to note, is she actually hot as if she is actually actively engaging back with me? TRENDING: These 3 Tinder Secrets Will get You Laid Tonight… Or is she just tolerating me, because if that’s the case, it might not be hot/cold, it might be lukewarm/cold, in which case, you’re probably in the friendzone. But remember, you’re ok, and it’s going to be ok. You just need to decide how to act next… Follow Her Lead… All the Way to the Bedroom One principle to remember is that if she’s feeling cold, or she’s pulling away… don’t pull at her. You’re gonna come off as needy. If she’s acting hot again, and you pull away, because you’re trying to make some power game, she’s gonna be like, what the hell? Why is this guy punishing me for giving him attention? She’s gonna lose interest. So you always want to be going in the direction that she’s going: If she’s hot, make things even hotter. If she’s cold, make things a little colder. By doing this, you are leading her in the direction that she already wants to go, which shows you’re really paying attention to her feelings. It also makes the interaction speed up a little bit because now she’s not the only one driving it. When she comes in, you’re actually making it come in more. And when she goes out, you’re actually giving her even more space than she needed. And that way she always will feel safe, and it’s also a more engaging and interesting way to interact with people. Here’s Why Hot & Cold Is Actually a GOOD Thing… Hot/cold behavior is something that many guys experience with women because it’s totally normal behavior for women. There are many reasons why a woman might give you this hot and cold behavior, partly because she’s doing this to protect herself, partly because women are emotionally driven. But as a man who dates women, it’s really important to understand this. Remember to stay grounded, not go on the ride of going back and forth yourself. Maintain the reality in your mind that things are okay: I’m just stating my desire, I’m engaging. THE LATEST: This Simple Card Game Makes Any Woman Fall Deeply in Love With You (Click Here to Get It For FREE)! The thing that will make her feel even more comfortable and happy and safe and able to surrender is that when she’s hot, make things even hotter, when she’s cold, make things even colder. If you ever go against the grain, she’s just gonna throw things off. You want to make sure you’re always leading her in the direction that she’s going because that’s what’s going to lead to physical intimacy. Don’t forget: Hot & cold is good, because if she wasn’t interested in you at all, she’d be cold & cold and walk away. The next thing you want, is for her to spend MORE time hot than cold… 3 “Shocking Touches” That Make Her Hot For You… There is one final “secret weapon” you can use… and when you do it often makes a girl much more “hot” than “cold” for you… It’s these 3 “Shocking Touches” that are really stealthy… but designed to turn her on quickly. These “Shocking Touches” work on hot & cold girls because they take them by surprise… make them let their guard down… and force them to show their true level of interest in you. So if she’s actually interested… then these “Shocking Touches” will make her show her hand really fast. Just be warned: if she is secretly interested in you… then she’ll often want to hookup with you quickly after using these 3 “Shocking Touches”–like within an hour or two. You can get all 3 Shocking Touches (and watch them in action) in this short, free video demonstration: 3 “Shocking Touches” That Reveal Her Feelings For You (& Make Her Act on Them) Share this…

Weekly Forum Highlight
Here’s what we’re discussing this week in the forums: Friend pretended he’s kissing me and took a picture with me while I was asleep Friend’s Pregnancy Announcement Finding love in these times How Do I Tell My Husband I Have Fallen Out of Love? “No Valentines card or gift” “How Can I Make the Break-up Pain Go Away Quicker?” I love him, but I don’t think I’m in love with him Husband is on Grindr A kind of relationship My boyfriend is still in contact with his ex and he got caught!! Coronavirus/ Covid-19/ At-Home Support Thread Follow along on Facebook and Instagram. If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].

How Mindful Dating Can Help You Find Your Most Ideal Girlfriend
Wondering what mindful dating is all about? Can mindful dating help you find your next long term girlfriend? If you’re struggling in the dating world, it could be that it’s all in your head. Mindlessness is something that many people struggle with when it comes to dating and personal relationships. People spend an exorbitant amount of time ruminating over being rejected, whether or not they look good, sound good or why they can’t seem to get past a first date or make a relationship work. Enter mindful dating. Mindful dating allows you to stop fretting about how things are going when you’re on a date. It allows you to simply be in the moment. When you date mindfully, you end up attracting like-minded people who will make compatible, long-term partners. Mindful dating also makes dating downright fun and keeps you from giving up or becoming debilitated by things like anxiety, stress and low self-esteem. In this article, I’ll break down exactly how you can use mindful dating to lead a more fulfilling life and find your most ideal girlfriend. But first, let’s discuss exactly what mindfulness and mindful dating are. What Mindfulness Is At its most simplistic, mindfulness is the conscious observation of your thoughts and actions in the present moment with the absence of judgment. When you practice mindfulness, you are focusing on the current situation in front of you, and the way you feel about the situation. Now, let’s get a little deeper into that definition. Being present and aware of yourself and the activity around you is a great exercise in clarity, understanding, and empathy. The goal of mindfulness — in the dating world and outside of it — is similar to the goals of meditation. Why Mindfulness is Important for Dating When it comes to dating, mindfulness is important for several reasons. It Keeps You in a Growth Mindset By keeping yourself in the present moment and allowing yourself to assess your thoughts and feelings in a non-judgmental way, you are able to open yourself to growth and opportunity. The practice of mindfulness is one that boasts a belief in the world being your oyster. When you are outcome-focused, you look at the endless opportunities before you in a “sky’s the limit” sort of way. You view challenges as exciting rather than intimidating, have a thirst for learning and view mistakes or missteps as opportunities for growth, rather than failures or points of humiliation. When you are mindless as opposed to mindful, it is easy to fall into what is known as a fixed mindset. Someone with a fixed mindset looks at traits like creativity, intelligence and talents as innate and often out of reach. A person with a fixed mindset will not rise to occasions and often internalizes dating woes in a way that will lead to thoughts, such as: “Women just don’t like me.” “I’m never going to get married.” “I’m not good on dates.” “I can never come up with the right thing to say.” People with fixed mindsets forget to tap into the inner curiosity that allows them to experience situations organically and view the experience as one that is important for growth, regardless of whether it’s a great date or a bad date. Speaking of dates, here’s an article that might help you with this topic: “How to Change your Mindset while on a Date.” It Provides Clarity A big part of mindful dating is getting clarity on what you truly want in a partner. Moreover, this clarity is intended to help you find the type of partner that will add to your fulfillment and overall satisfaction in life. Are you looking for a relationship because you’re scared to be alone? Do you have insecurities over your appearance or job? Do you feel like getting a girlfriend will mitigate those insecurities or validate you in some way? Are you grieving a breakup and just want another girlfriend to numb the pain? All of those are bad reasons for wanting to have a partner and won’t lead you to a fulfilling relationship. When you practice mindfulness, it is easier to cut through all the insecurities and ruminations over the past that are coloring the types of unsuccessful relationships you’re pursuing. You can gain clarity on the things that truly matter to you in a relationship, such as: -Shared interests that you want to have with a partner -Morals and values that are an important part of the way you live your life and that you want to align with the person you’re dating -How you want to be treated in a relationship, and how you believe a person should be treated It Makes You Ditch Criticism When you are mindful, you are focusing on the present moment. For example, let’s say that you are traveling abroad for the first time. You are with a group of friends in a beautiful village in Italy. Although everything could not be more idyllic and wonderful, you feel like this is going to catalyze an anxiety attack. The newness of the experience makes you nervous and because it is not a place of familiarity, it becomes a place of discomfort. You’re suddenly feeling the need to retreat back to your hotel and later chastise yourself for sucking at new experiences. Mindfulness eliminates anxiety and forces us to ditch our criticism by bringing everything to an organic place of curiosity and observation. In the above analogy, you could use mindfulness to take notice of the things around you. Take inventory of the sounds, the beauty of the different cottages and how each is making you feel. Eventually, you will be able to reduce anxiety by experiencing things in a natural, authentic way, instead of mindlessly worrying about things that haven’t even happened yet. How to Incorporate Mindfulness into Your Date Planning When you plan dates according to mindfulness, you open yourself to much more interesting and varied experiences. Instead of relegating yourself to “let’s meet at [insert really generic bar or restaurant here] for a happy hour and hopefully not be debilitated by awkwardness” for first and second date planning, you can plan your dates according to things that spark curiosity and interest in you and your date. Mindful dating requires you to pay attention to your interests as well as the interests of the woman you are asking out. You can practice mindfulness when planning a date by using a TDL when asking a woman out. A TDL is an acronym for “Time, Date, and Location” and it’s what we here at EmLovz use to refer to a date’s call-to-action. A good TDL will offer a woman a compelling date idea and provide her with the exact time the date will take place, the specific day of the week the date will occur, and the location of the event or activity. When you select a compelling date mindfully, the date is one that appeals to a woman’s interests and provides her with a new experience. For example, if the girl you’re asking out is really into art, you could suggest going to an exhibit at a museum that is brand new to both of you and appeals to the types of art she likes. Planning dates this way makes for a more exciting date experience and also makes you stand out from other guys because you are being considerate and chivalrous. Giving her specifics about the date and offering something compelling also lessens the chances of rejection. How to Use Mindfulness to Reduce Anxiety Mindfulness is a great way to work through anxiety and discomfort naturally over time. Whether you are in a social situation or alone, you can practice mindfulness in order to ease stress and tension. Acknowledge Your Anxiety When you’re feeling anxious, don’t try to force down those feelings or push away bad thoughts — that’s going to be counterintuitive. Instead, acknowledge your feelings in a non-judgmental way. Try to allow mindfulness to play a middleman between yourself and your anxiety. Act as an observer when you’re nervous. Acknowledge how bad it feels without beating yourself up and offer yourself patience during the anxious episode. Remember that as bad as anxiety attacks and moments of nervous discomfort feel, they will pass. Don’t Attempt to Change Your Experience A lot of times when we’re anxious, we will freak out about how to change or hide this anxiety. This behavior (SPOILER ALERT) does little more than lead to even more anxiety. One way you can practice mindfulness to alleviate anxiety is by not attempting to change the current situation. Anxiety can trigger our fight-or-flight response. In dating, this will make us want to make a hasty exit from the situation. But instead of telling your date that you need to go to the bathroom and then ghost her, take time to pause and simply be in the situation. Let yourself experience the sensations and — again — understand they will pass. Don’t strive to change or alter the situation. Accept things for what they are and let go. Even if your nervousness puts a damper on your date, pausing and making it through the situation will lead to growth and help you understand yourself. Ultimately, this unpleasantness will lessen and these experiences will propel you forward in your dating life and overall fulfillment. Meditate and Do Yoga The practice of mindfulness is interwoven throughout meditation and yoga practices. Attending meditation and yoga classes or practicing both of these in your home regularly can have a great effect on your overall wellness. Healthine cited several science-based benefits of meditation, such as reduced stress and anxiety, improved sleep and improved emotional health. Taking a meditation class can be a great way to get started, but you can meditate anywhere and at any time. Google “meditation” and you can find tons of videos and apps to help you get your meditation on. Yoga studios, classes and events are prevalent throughout the country and you can find a ton of opportunities with a simple Google search or through websites like Eventbrite. Take a Deep Breath Something as easy as taking a deep breath can help alleviate anxiety and keep your awareness in the present moment. According to studies, diaphragmatic breathing can alleviate stress and anxiety, while also potentially leading to significant health benefits like brain growth. Taking yoga classes and meditation can be a great way to practice deep breathing, and you can also do it yourself with the following steps. One of the best times to do a deep breathing exercise — aside from when you’re having anxiety — is before you go to sleep. Deep breathing can help stave off insomnia so that you can enjoy the health benefits of a good night’s sleep: Find a comfortable place with limited distractions, such as your living room or bedroom. If you have electrical devices on that can cause noise, turn them off. Set your phone to silent. Take a regular breath first. Breath in deeply through your nose into your abdomen, so that you feel your entire abdomen fill with air. Place one hand on the bottom of your belly if that helps you assess. Exhale through your mouth. Alternate between normal breaths and deep breaths for several minutes. As you continue to practice deep breathing, it will become more natural over time and help to keep stress at bay. How to Use Mindfulness to Improve Your Dating App Experience A big part of mindful dating is finding like-minded partners and ditching criticism — both of yourself and of others. You can improve your dating app experiences by including things that reflect mindfulness. Photos Choose photos that show you as your best self, living life in the present moment. Obviously, you want to have solo photos so that the people going through your profile are aware of exactly what you look like. Make the first photo one of you that is forward-facing, great lighting and of you smiling. Other photos can include pictures of you while doing something you love. For example, if you like fishing, you can post a picture of you holding up a good catch. You can also do pictures with family and friends that show you are fun-loving and have good family values. Finally, pictures of you with animals (preferably adorable baby animals) is always a plus. Self-Summary Create a self-summary or tagline that showcases your interests and the best parts of your personality. Don’t be negative or take self-deprecating humor (which can work well if used appropriately) to a place that makes it seem like you have low self-esteem. Be specific when mentioning the things you like to do and offer humor charismatically if able: Example of a good bio: “French engineer + personal development mentor + fitness enthusiast. Love traveling, exploring and colonizing…just kidding, that was so last century ;)” Example of a bad bio: “I’m 44, not 34. IDK how to fix it.” How to Use Mindfulness to Select Compatible Dating Partners When we behave mindlessly as opposed to mindfully, we’re often focused on how people are going to perceive us, how we can get someone to like us, and how we can adhere to certain standards or perceived expectations in order to accommodate what we think someone wants from us. When you behave mindfully, your focus turns inward and you are able to decide what you want in a partner, how you foresee a successful relationship transpiring in your perfect world, and the steps you can take to feel fulfilled both in and out of a relationship. You can use mindfulness to select compatible dating partners by practicing some introspection when swiping on dating apps (like Bumble, Hinge, or others), when getting set up with women thru friends, or meeting different women at social events and recreational activities. Ask yourself questions like: What are my core values when it comes to the things I believe in? Which values do I feel are a partner needs to share with me in order for the relationship to be successful? Which values would I prefer a partner to share with me in a relationship? Where do I see myself in the future as far as marriage and having children are concerned? What activities and passions are extremely important to me? What passions do I want a partner to support me in? How open am I to trying new things? How open would I like my partner to be? How important is humor in a relationship? How important is spirituality in a relationship? How to Use Mindfulness to Recognize and Avoid Wasting Time and Money on Red Flag Women Mindfulness is all about being in the present moment, assessing the situation at hand and addressing your emotions — particularly, uncomfortable emotions — so that you can behave accordingly in situations without becoming overwhelmed. One thing that mindfulness really helps with is recognizing red flags. When you’re attracted to someone, it can be really easy to overlook red flags, such as moodiness, love bombing, jealousy and the like. But look back at past relationships that went really south and you probably can recognize some issues that were somewhat present from the beginning. With mindfulness, you are able to pay attention to those gut instincts when something feels off during the early stages of dating. Mindfulness helps you to recognize red flags so that you can stop seeing someone before it turns into an ugly situation. How to Use Mindfulness to Be More Present on Dates and Have More Fun Mindful dating allows you to have more fun on dates by being in the moment. You can be more present on dates by choosing environments that naturally allow you to take things in without overthinking. Some compelling date ideas that encourage mindfulness include: -Nature-based dates, such as hiking or taking a bike ride -Visiting museums and art exhibits -Stimulating dates like ziplining or riding a roller coaster at a local theme park -Tours of unique breweries or wineries Don’t choose dates where you are simply sitting interview-style at a bar or cafe. This makes things way too formal and can cause you to overthink what you’re doing. Active dates make it a lot easier to be mindful and they also make dating a lot of fun! How to Use Mindfulness to Improve Your In-Person Approach Game When you approach a woman you’re interested in mindfully, you can do the following things to make sure that you stay engaged, comfortable and in the present moment: –Prolong eye contact -Smile -Notice things that you like about her -Use a TDL and compelling date idea -Listen to her instead of allowing your mind to wander How to Use Mindfulness to Overcome Her Objections If a girl turns you down because she has something else going on during the time and day of your suggested date, don’t let that be the end of the conversation. In fact, even if she gives you a flat no, that doesn’t have to be the end. Unless she’s extremely rude to you (which 99% of the time won’t be the case) or says something like, “I have a boyfriend,” “I have a husband,” “I’m almost divorced, but not quite there yet,” or “I’m certifiably insane,” try to overcome her objection three times before giving up. Some ways you can overcome her objection include: -Presenting a different compelling date idea -Asking her when she is available and picking a date that fits her schedule –Reversing her expectations -Anticipating objections and making a list of objection-handling responses beforehand How We Can Help You… Want more help with mindful dating and finding your next real life relationship? We can help. Did you know emlovz offers full service coaching and matchmaking services? Ready to learn how it all works? If yes, then head over to our calendar and book a new client 1-on-1 Zoom Session with me or one of my colleagues today. During our session, we’ll discuss your dating goals, create an action plan, and see if our coaching or date concierge services are right for you!

Why Did She Leave Me?
Breakups and rejections are never easy, whether someone leaves you after you have been dating for more than a year, a few months, or even if you’ve only just started seeing somebody you really like. Along with advising my clients on how to find success in the dating world, I also have plenty of men come to me with this question: “Why did she leave me?” When a girlfriend or girl you have been seeing leaves for unknown or little known reasons, it can be debilitating. It’s a huge blow to your self-esteem and can even make you question whether or not you’ll ever find a long-term, compatible partner. But I promise you that you can — and will if you follow my advice and enter the dating world with a strategic plan that makes you exude positivity and be open to new opportunities. But first, let’s dive deeper into the reasons women leave during different stages of the dating game. Why Did She Leave Me? If You Were Dating Let’s say that a woman rejects you, ghosts you or does anything to end things when you’re in the early stages of dating. You’re not exclusive at this point, but you’ve been on at least a couple of dates and you really like this woman. But she ends it before you two have a chance to become exclusive. What are some reasons that this could have occurred? For starters, let’s look at the way you are approaching the dating process. Ask yourself the following questions. Did I Follow a Strategic Dating Blueprint for the First Three Dates? “Do you wanna hang out?” “Do you wanna grab a drink?” “Do you wanna go to a happy hour?” So many guys fall into the same rut when it comes to the early stages of dating. They ask girls to “hang out,” and end up on the same date over and over again — drinks and food. If you want to better your chances of keeping a girl you like around and even making her your girlfriend, you need a strategic blueprint for the first three dates. I suggest the following to all of my clients: -First Date: It should be something that is less than an hour and does not exceed $15. –Second Date: This date should be active and free. Consider something like hiking or visiting a museum. Eventbrite is also a great place to find free events. -Third Date: This is the date where you can have a nice, intimate dinner. The third date is often when you will end up sealing the deal. You want to make sure that the first two dates are located in a place that is close to your date’s home and also takes place during the daytime — between 11 am and 2 pm is best. Why? This is going to make a woman feel safer, and safety is a concern for women when going out with a guy who is either a complete stranger or someone they don’t know well, at least in a romantic sense. Do You Craft Compelling Date Ideas and Use a TDL? You want to ask women out on dates that speak to their interests and also introduces them to new experiences. When youmake a date compelling in this way, it’s extremely difficult for her to turn you down and the chemistry between you two can be escalated easily. For example, let’s say that the girl you’re asking out is really into yoga. You could find a special yoga event or style of yoga she’s mentioned that she’s interested in but has yet to try. When you present this date idea to her, you also want to make sure that you use a TDL. A TDL is an acronym that stands for Time, Date, and Location and it’s what we here at EmLovz use to refer to a date’s call-to-action. Like I mentioned before, it is best to schedule dates during the daytime. The ideal time of day is between 11 am and 2 pm. The best days of the week to plan a date are Saturdays. You don’t want to pick a Sunday, because people are getting back into a work mindset and definitely don’t plan the date for Monday because, let’s face it, everyone hates Mondays. So for this hypothetical yoga girl you’re super into, you could present the date like so: “Hey, Melissa. I know you mentioned you’d be interested in trying aerial yoga. I found a class that’s happening this Saturday at 11 am. Do you want to go with me, date style?” Not only are you presenting her with a new experience, it’s clear that you’ve paid attention to her interests and have also taken the extra step of having everything planned and set so she won’t have to worry about it. This is super chivalrous because it’s showing that you are considerate of her time and also a good listener. Plus, you get bonus points for explicitly calling the experience with you a “date” and not just a “hang out.” Are You MegaDating? If you’re not in an exclusive relationship, you need to start MegaDating ASAP. MegaDating is a dating strategy that involves going on dates with several different women at the same time in order to diffuse energy by keeping your calendar full. MegaDating is not about sleeping around, dishonesty or being a player — quite the contrary. When you MegaDate, sex doesn’t need to come into the equation at all. This process is simply about meeting a lot of different potential partners in order to alleviate anxiety and to allow you to see that there truly are plenty of fish in the sea. When you MegaDate, you won’t get hung up on finding “the one” or settling for the mediocre because dating different people will constantly reaffirm that there are lots of people who you can be compatible with. Moreover, MegaDating lessens the pain of things like rejection and increases your dating confidence because, as they say, practice makes perfect. I used MegaDating during my 100-date experiment. It opened me up to a ton of different experiences and showed me that dating can be fun instead of frustrating during a time when I wondered if love even existed. Most importantly, MegaDating led me to my current relationship with a compatible, long-term partner. It worked for me and it can work for you too! Why Did She Leave Me: If You Were In an Early Relationship Let’s say that you made it past the dating phase and you and a girl you really like have decided to make it official. As little as a few, a couple or even one month goes by and she leaves you, causing you to be super confused. Outside of her giving you a concrete answer about why the relationship wasn’t working out for her, there can be a few different reasons that a woman chooses to leave early in a relationship. Reason #1: She Went Back to Her Ex I know how bad it sucks to have a someone leave you because they want to give a past relationship another try. You may be racking your brain, wondering what you did wrong. The thing is, there can be a lot of different reasons someone returns to a previous relationship that has absolutely nothing to do with you, including: -She was still in love with her ex. There’s a history there that you, unfortunately, don’t have with her and you shouldn’t feel bad for not being able to compete with that. -She relied on him financially. -She felt comfortable in the past relationship and was scared to keep stepping outside of her comfort zone. Reason #2: She is Emotionally Unavailable If a woman is emotionally unavailable, it will be pretty much impossible for her to commit to a relationship long-term. This isn’t your fault. Emotionally unavailable women may have started to date too soon after a bad breakup or even a recent divorce. Once she became serious with you, it’s possible that she realized she was in over her head and had to leave. When you’re really into someone, it can easy to ignore the red flags that indicate they are emotionally unavailable. Some signs include: -She takes a really long time to call or text you back. -She was hot and cold with you on numerous occasions. -She bashes on her exes or gushes over them. -She repeatedly talked about how she “wasn’t into labels.” -She was charismatic in a way that was sort of unnerving (more on that in a bit). -She suffered from addition from alcohol or drugs. -She was overly critical of you. -She didn’t include you in get-togethers with friends. Reason #3: She Had a Personality Disorder A more sinister reason for a woman up and leaving without explanation after becoming exclusive could be due to a personality disorder. Women with antisocial personality disorder (sociopaths) and narcissistic personality disorder (narcissists) share the following traits when it comes to romantic relationships: -They are both extremely charming in the beginning. -They both are prone to anger and constantly blame their partners for fits of anger, infidelity, and other hurtful acts. -They can both be prone to violence. -They leave you feeling like your head is spinning due to manipulation tactics, including gaslighting. If a woman shows signs of a narcissistic or antisocial personality disorder, it’s important to get out of the relationship and cut off contact. It is basically impossible to have a fulfilling relationship with a sociopath or narcissist, particularly if the person has not sought any type of psychological treatment for the disorder. Reason #4: You Had Sex Too Soon I always advise my clients to wait until at least the third date to have sex. Remember, the first date is intended to build trust and rapport and the second date is intended to increase sexual attraction. After you have established trust, rapport, and sexual attraction, you can ask a variety of third date questions to help you assess whether the two of you are a good fit when it comes to your morals and values and if you are compatible for a long-term relationship. When you have sex too soon, things can become confusing. Because of the chemicals released during sex, infatuation can occur at a fevered pitch and the relationship can accelerate way faster than it would naturally. It may turn out that the two of you are not compatible at all or the fact that things became exclusive so quickly could make the girl overwhelmed and leave you. Why Did She Leave Me? If You Were In a Long-Term Relationship If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time and it ends, that can be absolutely heartbreaking. Unlike early relationships or simply dating, it can take longer and be more difficult to heal after a long-term relationship ends. When a long-term relationship ends, it is usually the result of an issue or issues that have led to stress accumulating over time. Some reasons for a woman leaving after being with someone for a long time can include: -Financial issues: Issues with money between the two of you can put a really big strain on a relationship. -Intimacy issues: If you suffer from a fear of intimacy, it can drive a wedge between you and the person you’re with. Understanding the reasons behind your fear of intimacy, acknowledging the fear and approaching it without criticism of yourself is integral to healing this fear. -Not including them in decisions: It’s important that you treat your relationship like a true partnership. Think about big decisions you needed to make in your relationship, like moving in together, making big financial decisions or moving to a different city or state. Did you include your partner in these decisions? If not, resentment could have developed on her end, leading her to a decision to leave you. Finally, one big reason that relationships can end — and a reason that needs to be acknowledged very seriously — is violence. Dating violence is unacceptable in a relationship at any stage. In fact, violence is just unacceptable in any situation. Period. If you have been prone to violent behavior in a relationship, it’s imperative that you seek help to address this behavior and take a step away from any type of dating. Any level of violence is not a normal part of a relationship and can be a signal of several different underlying issues that require swift treatment. If you are experiencing dating violence or know someone experiencing violence is a relationship, contact The National Domestic Violence Hotline. They will help provide safe, secure services so you or the person you know can safely exit the situation. The hotline also provides help for abusive partners looking to take control of their behavior in order to live a happier, fulfilling, violence-free life. Getting Back on the Horse After you’ve healed from a breakup, emlovz is here to help you get back into the dating scene and find a long-term, compatible relationship. We’re also here to show you that dating can be fun instead of frustrating and that you can actually develop more confidence as a single looking for love. We offer full service matchmaking and coaching services that are sure to help you reach your goals this year. Ready to learn more? Head over to our calendar and book a new client 1-on-1 Zoom session with me or one of my coaches today. During our session, we will discuss your dating roadblocks, create an action plan, and see if our coaching and/or date concierge services are right for you.

How to Spice Up Your Relationship: 17 Fun Things to Do Tonight
Are you wondering how to spice up your relationship and reignite the flame in the bedroom? If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, it’s normal for your sex life to feel a little stale and monotonous. You’re way past the honeymoon phase and have probably slipped into a comfortable routine. Don’t worry; we’ve all been there. But there’s no reason why you shouldn’t enjoy the same passion and excitement you did when you just started dating. In this post, I will share my top 17 tips to help you spice up your relationship and get those sparks flying again. Here’s how to spice up your relationship tonight. [embedded content] 1. Striptease The great thing about doing a striptease is that you don’t even have to get completely naked. It’s the anticipation of you getting naked that turns your guy on. The slower you go, the more excited he’ll get. Practical Tips If you’ve never done a striptease, practice a few times, so you feel comfortable. DON’T judge yourself! Trust me: your man will appreciate it, even if you don’t have moves like Jagger. Dim the lights and pick some sexy music for your performance. Consider dressing up in something out of the ordinary, like his button-down shirt and gartered stockings underneath. And it’s okay to laugh! You may not be able to keep your Sexy Vixen persona the whole time, but hey, you’re there to have fun. 2. Kiss Everywhere BUT There Another way to spice up your relationship is to build up anticipation before sex. Get on top of your guy and kiss him all over—with one exception. You know where! Start with his lips, gently move to his ear and neck, then down his chest, making a stop at his nipples. Moving down, down, down, bypassing that key area. Even being kissed on his feet can be a turn-on for many men. Practical Tips It can be fun to tease your man by getting close to his man bits, then veering off on your kissing path. But after a while, give the guy a break and reward him. 3. Take Charge If you don’t typically take charge in bed, surprising your man is a sexy way to spice up your relationship. Make it clear that you’re calling the shots and that he’s there to pleasure you. Direct (or command, depending on how bossy you want to get) where he goes and what he does. It’s an incredible turn-on to men. Practical Tips This is an excellent strategy if you’ve had trouble telling your boyfriend what turns you on or how you like to be touched. When you’re in control, he’s listening and ready to do whatever it takes to please you. 4. Tie Him Up There’s just something about the fantasy of being tied up that turns on both men and women. If you’re looking for ways to spice up your relationship tonight but don’t want to go all-in, this is an easy but effective idea. Practical Tips You can use rope, a tie, or long socks, or you can get fancy and order handcuffs (ones designed for play. Not real ones! You don’t want to have to call a locksmith to get him uncuffed!). Take it up a notch and blindfold him while you’re at it. 5. Use Toys You might reserve your sex toys for the time you spend alone, but here’s a reason to bring the toys into the bedroom with your boyfriend. A study showed that couples who reported being satisfied in their relationships and sex were more likely to use sex toys together. So, not only can toys sexually satisfy you, but they can also help strengthen your relationship! Practical Tips Your guy may not know what to do with the toy, so show him how to use it to maximize your arousal. Explore new toys you can buy and play with together. 6. Watch Each Other in the Mirror Watching your partner feel pleasure can bring more pleasure to both of you. If you have a mirror in the bedroom, face it while you have sex (usually, doggie style is best for this) and enjoy the show. Practical Tips Don’t get wrapped up in watching yourself and judging how you look (I know you’re tempted!). Instead, know that he’s loving watching you. Enjoy his looks of pleasure instead. This is guaranteed to help you spice up your relationship tonight. 7. Touch Yourself You may be shy about this one, but trust me: your man will be turned on if he sees you touching yourself. Do this before he’s touched you or even across the room, so he wants to jump in and help you out. Practical Tips You want to be confident in your body to pull this one off. If it feels too embarrassing, don’t force it. There are plenty of other ways to spice up your relationship. 8. Have Sex Somewhere Other Than the Bed Sex in the bed can get boring after a while. Why not mix things up and try it somewhere else like: The kitchen table Your home office The couch Outside (away from prying eyes) The pool (private, not public!) The washing machine The floor Practical Tips Sometimes having sex in unusual places isn’t the most comfortable. Be mindful of possible injuries. Bring a blanket or towel to put under your knees, so they don’t get scraped up. 9. Watch Porn Together If you’re open to the idea of watching porn, why not watch it with your partner? It’s a great way to learn what he likes and get some ideas for moves. Practical Tips You can take turns picking the porn based on what turns you on. Don’t be shy about talking about what you find erotic. The conversation will help spice up your relationship by improving your sex life. 10. Wear Your Sexiest Lingerie Lingerie is incredibly hot for men, and it can boost your confidence just by wearing it. For a special occasion, buy a lacy bra and panties or a more complex lingerie outfit in his favorite color. Practical Tips For extra hotness, whisper that you’re wearing hot lingerie (or even no panties) in the middle of dinner or somewhere he can do absolutely nothing about it. That way, he’s panting in anticipation to get you home. 11. Let Him Look But Not Touch This is another version of you being in control. Seduce him by rubbing him all over and showing off your body, but don’t let him touch you. You can tie him up or even hold his hands above his head. If he touches, punish him! 🙂 Practical Tips This is a powerful way to spice up your relationship and make you feel sexy and confident. You can start across the room (maybe with that striptease or touching yourself) and get closer and closer, forbidding him to touch you until he’s ready to explode. 12. Sext Him A great way to build excitement before you have sex is to send steamy texts. No matter what he’s doing, you’ll be guaranteed a fast response! Practical Tips Keep these at the level you’re comfortable with. You don’t need to send nude photos to be sexy (and in fact, I discourage that). You could send something like: I can’t focus on work. Keep thinking about all the naughty things I’m gonna do to you tonight! Guess what color panties I’m wearing. 🙂 13. Tease Him There are a million ways you can tease a guy, including the kissing tip I already provided. You can also rub against him, getting close to penetration, then pull away. He’ll be pleasantly frustrated, and when you do finally have sex, it will be mind-blowing. Practical Tips There’s a difference between teasing and being cruel. Once he can’t stand the anticipation, give the guy a break and reward him for his patience. 14. Go to a Motel Who says sex has to always happen at home? Stepping out of your usual routine is one of the best ways to spice up your relationship. It can be totally hot to book a cheap motel (or a 5-star hotel if that’s your jam) and get frisky. Practical Tips Surprise him with a night away and have everything planned. You could even have bubbly chilling in the room waiting. 15. Have Sex in a Car Another out-of-the-ordinary place to get it on is the car. Yes, it’s taking you back to college or high school, and yes, having the parking gear in your back isn’t comfortable, but it’s still hella hot. Practical Tips Bonus points if you have an SUV or van and can fully recline. Just make sure you park the car somewhere a police officer isn’t going to tap on the window (talk about flashbacks to the old days!). 16. Bring Out the Whipped Cream Another fun way to spice up your relationship is with food, particularly whipped cream. It’s fun to lick off of one another’s bodies and is a delicious snack to boot. Practical Tips Avoid getting the whipped cream inside your body! 17. Talk Dirty Spice up your relationship tonight by talking dirty to him. Tell him he’s been a bad boy, then tell him exactly what you’ll do to him to punish him. Practical Tips If you’re new to talking dirty, start simply at first. Just tell him what you want him to do to you or what you like. If he responds positively, get more courageous in what you say. Conclusion: Are you ready to spice up your relationship? These are some of my hottest tips to help you spice up your relationship tonight and bring the excitement back into the bedroom. Are there any other ideas you have to spice things up and unleash your inner sex Goddess? Drop a comment below, ladies. P.S. A healthy sex life is part of a long and happy relationship. If you haven’t found that yet, enroll in my Little Love Steps program to find the guy of your dreams. Also, if you’d like to join me on a brand new webinar to learn “why men flake, avoid commitment and consistently ghost until they meet a woman who’s following these 7 simple steps”, then register here (it’s 100% free). Share the Love

4 Signs You May Be Minimizing Your Emotional Wants and Needs in Relationships
I exist with a few (okay more than a few) dysfunctional tendencies when in relationships. That’s not to imply I have not had healthy moments when in relationships. However, there are certainly some underlying notions that have emerged which may not be the most productive. One of these happens to be minimizing emotional wants and needs when in romantic relationships. A truly supportive and loving partner, will not (and should not) expect you to minimize your emotional wants and needs, but rather, will uplift you and ensure your wants and needs are met to the best of their abilities. That being said, if you are a lil’ suspish that you may be minimizing your own emotional wants and needs with your current partner then keeping reading for 4 signs you may be minimizing your emotional wants and needs in relationships. Disclaimer: The content within this post is for information purposes only and is not a substitute for talking to a health professional or a counsellor. The content is also not a substitute if you are a victim of domestic abuse or violence. If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic abuse or violence, visit endingviolencecanada.org for a list of service providers across Canada. 1. Chances are, you’ve been minimizing for a while! British psychologist John Bowlby, a pioneer of attachment theory, instilled his belief that our formative early years when we are developing relationships with our caregivers, is when we experience significant growth in how we bond to others. This growth is what we carry with us into subsequent stages throughout our lives. If you suspect you may be minimizing your emotional wants and needs in your adult relationships, start by reflecting on your childhood. It’s where most of our concerns in adulthood tend to stem from. Thanks mom and dad. As a youngster, my mom was consistently keeping up with the demands as a single parent to two kids. My dad had a short temper, often leaving me feeling like I had to walk on eggshells when with him for fear of what I said or did might set him off. I now realize that in an effort to minimize the conflict potentially bubbling up from my dad and to keep things easy for my mom, I began to make myself emotionally smaller in order to lessen my chances of “being a burden” to my parents. Despite no longer needing to make myself emotionally smaller, somewhere in my unconscious mind I continue to do so as an adult with my romantic partners. A question that may help you amidst your self-exploration is: “As a child, what was your sense of emotional needs versus your parent’s reactions?” Were you inclined to behave a certain way as a child in order to ensure your wants and needs were met by caregivers? What was the primary way in which you received love as a child – were your parents expressive in how they showed you affection, or were you made to jump through hoops in order to receive love? Once you’ve reflected, see if you can connect similar dots between your childhood and adult relationships. 2. You Play a Metaphorical Game of Jenga in your Relationships Many of us find ourselves playing a metaphorical game of Jenga in our relationships. Sometimes we find the perfect spot for our blocks while building the tower. Other times, we push (force?) the block into a spot where it doesn’t belong, but try to make it fit anyways without having the tower fall to the ground. Jenga AKA stress level 9000, folks. Perhaps it’s to avoid an argument, or to avoid that nagging feeling inside of you that what is taking place is not lining up with your core beliefs and/or boundaries. Whatever the case may be, to keep things running smoothly with your boo thang, you suppress your own wants and needs in an effort to make things work. You may even conform to the wants and needs of your partner for the sake of keeping the peace. Playing Jenga, can also look like tolerating where you’ve been placed on your partner’s priority list. You know in your heart of hearts, your bae is your numero uno priority, you’re in it to win it. However, questions float through your head as to where you stand with your partner on their list. It’s healthy to be supportive of your partner’s wants, needs and priorities. It’s when you forgo or downplay your wants and needs in order to be supportive of someone else’s, or you force things to work, that could be a potential sign of minimizing. 3. You downplay conflict Conflict in relationships can be healthy and productive, and can bring two people closer together amidst a disagreement. Personally, I’m not a fan of conflict and it can be quite hard for me to express points of conflict within a relationship for fear of rocking the metaphorical boat. On occasion, it goes so far as believing if I bring up a point of conflict, my partner will break up with me.Rather than bring up points of conflict, I tend to suppress them and tolerate them. It’s easy for an outsider looking in to say: “Just communicate your needs, problems or points of conflict to your partner”. However, it’s not always an easy task for someone to communicate that something is bothering them, especially if it has been engrained in them since childhood to shy away from expressing their wants and needs. When you are not used to expressing your emotional wants and needs in healthy, productive ways, you may feel a sense of guilt when eventually you choose to do so. You may even chastise yourself for having brought them up in the first place (as I sometimes do). Try and catch it if you find yourself saying such phrases as “this wasn’t worth bringing up”, “I’m creating problems that aren’t there”, and “I’m only making things more difficult”. Demonstrating self-compassion when attempting to express your emotional wants and needs can create a sense of safety and reassurance within oneself. 4. Your internal struggles manifest themselves externally in unhealthy ways We all know what happens when you add candy pop rocks to Coca-Cola – it fizzes up and explodes! A similar process can occur when we continually disallow our emotional wants and needs to be met. Eventually, we can start to see them erupt externally in unhealthy, unproductive ways. I, like a lot of people, sometimes get upset over little things of no significance when in a relationship. In reality, these insignificant issues tend to add up to larger unconscious issues and points of conflict that haven’t been addressed. As a result, you may begin to resent your partner, or display passive-aggressive behaviors. If you feel like you may be minimizing your emotional wants and needs in your current relationship, it’s important to communicate this to your partner. If therapy is an accessible resource to you, consider seeking guidance from a health professional, prior to having the discussion with your partner. Holding a safe space to have these discussions, whether it’s with a therapist or your partner, while feeling supported and/or loved is especially important. Links:– endingviolencecanada.org – https://endingviolencecanada.org/getting-help-2/– British psychologist John Bowlby – https://www.verywellmind.com/john-bowlby-biography-1907-1990-2795514 Signup for Our Newsletter Share This Article

Communication In A Relationship – 9 Tips To Reach Your Man
Any woman who has been in a relationship knows that communication is one of the most important things. In fact, if you don’t have communication in a relationship, you don’t really have a relationship. But how do you communicate with guys? Men can seem so difficult to talk to. Healthy communication… The funny thing is, to men, women seem difficult to communicate with. Each gender sees the other as hard to talk to. How do you communicate and get him to understand you? How do you get your needs met? When you know how to communicate with a guy, you will not only be able to make your relationship as strong and loving as you want, you will also find that you can get all your needs met. And then some. Remember: Miscommunication creates distrust and disconnection. Which is why it is so important to work on your communication as much as possible with your partner. It’s not just a cliché, it’s the most important truth of relationships. Why is communication in a relationship so important? This may qualify as one of the most obvious questions, but you still might not know the answer to it. Just a short list of some of the problems you can have if you don’t have good communication: More fights and arguments Less physical intimacy More feelings of separation and anxiety More feelings of emotional disconnection More heartache and insecurity More cheating More breakups and short relationships In fact, if your communication is not where it needs to be with your peers, you could also experience a lot of health issues. Communication is so important to your success in life that you should probably be working on it almost every single day of your life. What is Communication In A Relationship? Well, my definition of communication is: COMMUNICATION: The simple skill of expressing your ideas to another person, and having that person understand your message – and you. Mind you, “simple” does not mean easy. In fact many people find communication one of the most challenging things in a relationship. Let’s talk about a few of the – Common Communication Problems As you may have realized, no one ever sat you down and taught you how to be an amazing communicator. You have to want to learn this skill. But when you do gain the skill of communicating with a guy on his level, there’s nothing else like it in the world. Your relationship will run on autopilot. (Well, mostly.) COMMUNICATION PROBLEM 1: Not communicating This may sound like an obvious observation, but in truth most people tend to avoid communicating as much as they can. Especially around difficult or uncomfortable topics. Unfortunately, most relationships need to have a lot of conversation about uncomfortable topics. There’s no escaping it. And if you happen to have a relationship with a guy who is already closed off with regard to his emotions, you may find it even more difficult. One word of warning here: Be careful about expecting your man to be as emotionally communicative as you. It’s just not going to happen. And if it did, you would probably get tired of it really quick. Just because men don’t communicate as frequently about their emotions doesn’t mean they are “emotionally shut down.” Or emotionally broken. Yes, some men don’t have any real connection to their emotional intelligence. But these days, many do. Men and women have different brains. Contrary to what the media would like to have us believe sometimes, men and women are simply different in many respects. So, compared to a woman, a man is always going to seem emotionally shut down. Even if he’s perfectly fine. Beware using female standards to evaluate men. It will never help you. And very often, it will mislead you. COMMUNICATION PROBLEM 2: Expecting him to read your mind This one is very specific to relationships. But it’s a well-known joke that women often expect a man to pick up on her emotional state – without her explaining it. We’ve all been guilty of this one… Here’s where the conflict gets really juicy. If you expect a man to read your mind, you know what you’re going to get. Disappointed. He doesn’t want to read your mind because he’s already afraid of making a mistake when you’re in a bad emotional state. So he will just stay quiet. It’s safer for him. And I think you probably know he’s right. You may want him to pick up on your emotions and “get you” – but not only is this unrealistic, it will probably drive most men away. Many times a woman will resist expressing her emotions to a man because she is also afraid of scaring him off. The key here is to find ways to explain your emotional state to him that make him feel like he is not the one to blame. Yes, even if he is the one to blame. COMMUNICATION PROBLEM 3: Worrying about going deep Many people in a relationship worry about talking about the Deep Stuff. The heavy emotions. They’re worried that talking about them more will just make those problems worse. Working through the most challenging topics can strengthen your relationship. In reality, the reason they are afraid of talking about the Deep Stuff is that they don’t ever do it enough to build up some confidence. And the couples that know how to talk about the Deep Stuff actually do much better. They have fewer arguments and have much more connection than other couples. And the more you learn how to work through the tough stuff, the more confidence you get. It’s a feedback cycle that makes your relationship win. COMMUNICATION PROBLEM 4: Needing to be right This one often comes up when you feel misunderstood. And you feel misunderstood because you’re not communicating that much along the way. It also comes up when you’re not feeling heard. Because you try to communicate to him, you don’t feel like you get your point across, and then his behavior doesn’t change. So you feel stuck and frustrated. Whatever the reason, we have to let go of the need to be right when we communicate in difficult conversations. As the saying goes, we have to be able to see things from the other person’s perspective. Or as Stephen Covey once said: “Seek first to understand then to be understood.” COMMUNICATION PROBLEM 5: Defensiveness Why do we get defensive? Because we don’t want to be wrong. Or we over invest ourselves and our feelings in things that don’t really matter. Putting up walls…? But when we become defensive, we have let that issue of being invulnerable overtake are feelings of love for the other person. So yes, it becomes an issue of being emotionally available for the other person. Which can be really hard to do when you feel like you’re being attacked. A really good exercise is to journal the communications you have with your man so that you notice the patterns. Notice when you’re becoming defensive. Notice when you feel attacked. Notice how your own emotions speak up and sometimes sabotage your communication. The best way to bring down the defensiveness is To stop needing to win. In fact, one of the worst things you can do is to try to communicate to get the other person to agree with you. Agreement isn’t necessary. You won’t always see eye-to-eye. But you should be able to understand the other person at a minimum. That’s THE goal: understanding. Don’t let anything else and get in the way of that. COMMUNICATION PROBLEM 6: Shut Down This problem can happen with both men and women, but it happens much sooner and noticeably with men. When a man is forced to communicate about emotions for too long, he will eventually become flooded. This means that he is overwhelmed by the emotional content. Keep it short – to keep his attention. If you’ve ever noticed that your emotional conversations go on for longer than 15 or 20 minutes, it’s very likely that you’ve flooded him. And he will eventually just shut down. He will stop talking and just go blank. And this will probably frustrate you even more. There will come a point in your conversation where he just stops communicating and starts to want to escape. The secret to avoiding this is very simple – stop the discussion and take a break after 15 minutes. And every 15 minutes thereafter. If your emotional conversation goes on for longer than an hour, it’s very unlikely that you will reach him. Yes, you want to resolve the situation – but some of the more intense conversations need to be broken up. You may even have to create a smaller goal with your conversation. Instead of talking about his lack of attention, just focus on one obvious example. You’ll get much more success this way than any other way talking to a man. Let’s dig into the real communication skills you have to develop now. Communication Tip #1: Focus On Improvement No one goes from Zero to Hero with their communication overnight. It’s unrealistic to expect this. So what you have to do is focus on getting a little bit better every day. With this as your goal, you will have massive improvement in no time. Just focusing on 1% improvement per day would mean that your relationship would get 100% better in just three months or so. Now imagine what kind of love connection you would have after a year or two of improving and you have an understanding of the importance. Communication Tip #2: Notice Your Communication Landmines We all have certain areas of communication that trigger us more than others. If you know what these “landmines” are, why not stop yourself from losing control when they show up? Nothing destroys communication faster than this… Instead of blowing yourself up in an argument, be on the lookout for when you start to react from fear or jealousy or insecurity or any other negative emotion. These areas where you’re activated and lose emotional control can cause the most harm in a relationship. Notice whenever you feel the most emotional REACTION instead of rational thinking when you’re communicating. This will point you toward your sensitive zones. And if you know these already, why not share them with your guy so he is aware and can help manage them in your communication. Communication Tip #3: Understand Him If I were to tell you one thing that would make the most significant change in the quality of your relationship, it would probably be to focus on understanding HIM first. When you understand how men think in general – and then how he thinks – you’re going to be miles ahead of any other woman at keeping his love. The more he feels like you get him and understand him, the more he’s going to devote himself to you. And when he feels understood, watch out! That’s when he will surprise you by making a long-term commitment to you. It doesn’t take much to understand him, but you do have to be willing to do ONE very important thing. If you don’t do this thing, you may never get that solid CONNECTION with him that you want. I’m going to reveal that ONE THING in just a moment… Communication Tip #4: Just Ask Him Just start asking him some questions: “What things cause conflict between us?” “Do you feel heard by me?” “What things cause you disappointment and pain in our relationship?” “What things make you feel happy and connected to me?” “What things don’t you want to talk about with me? What stops you talking about them?” “How would you like us to communicate differently?” These questions will unlock the doors of communication with him. Give him the space to express himself without judgment. And you’ll be amazed at what he reveals to you. Just take a moment and think about when the last time was you asked him a sincere question about his experience, and spent at least 5 minutes listening to what he had to say. Don’t feel bad, most women don’t ever do this. Even when they feel like they’re giving him their sincere interest, what they discover is that they were actually waiting to tell him their own experience. If you knew how rare it is for men to be asked questions and listened to, you would be absolutely amazed. Your girlfriend’s may give you this kind of listening, but men almost NEVER experience it. Communication Tip #5: If you’re stuck, get some help Seek help when communication stalls… Sometimes your communication patterns get so deep that you can’t get out of them. And if you noticed this pattern coming up where you just can’t stop getting into arguments, you may need some form of mediation. Both of you should seek a good relationship counselor or therapist and start to work on your communication issues. If you can’t break free of your dysfunctional patterns, they can eventually destroy your relationship. Communication Tip #6: Find out what his Code is In my Connection Code program, I explain all the details of the different communication types men have. There isn’t enough space here to explain it all, but suffice to say that men do fall into distinctly different communication types. If you don’t know what those types are, it’s very easy to misunderstand him or misread him. At the very least, you should explore your communication styles. If you’re the kind of person that has a hard time with criticism, for example, then you want your partner to know this. So he will know he has to be careful about expressing criticism. Simply explaining these differences in communication upfront solves countless problems later on. As a quick experiment, ask your man what his top three needs are in your relationship the next time you talk to him. Then get your pencil out and start taking notes. (And yes – you have the right to tell him about your three needs – AFTERWARDS.) Communication Tip #7: Be PRESENT with him Look, we live a life of near constant distraction. We’re connecting with other people less and less every day. If there’s one thing we have to start working on it’s the level of connection we have with each other. Yeah, you need to put your phone away. And he does, too. There are many other distractions in a relationship that stop us from being fully present with our partner. But the number one enemy is this constant need to be on your phone. Trust me that everything you think you’re getting from that phone you can get 10 times better from the connection with your partner. Spend the time to be truly present with him and connect like we did before we had “Netflix and chill.” Communication Tip #8: Add a little more Shhhhh… Some of the most connecting moments between two people are when they are not saying anything. In fact a LOT of communication happens without talking at all. Most in fact. Spending quiet times with your man in your relationship can be very rewarding. You might notice thoughts that come up out of the blue. You may find yourself worrying about the silence, even. But ultimately, you have to embrace the quiet to find out what’s really going in in your relationship. Communication Tip #9: Make him SAFE Be his safe haven… He’ll open up to you. If you read any of my articles or grabbed any of my programs, you may know how important this particular concept is. But in case you haven’t, let me remind you: There’s nothing more important to communicating in a relationship than your man feeling safe with you. What is “safe?” Not feeling like you’re going to berate him Not feeling like he’s going to be shut out from physical intimacy Not feeling like you’re going to judge him Not feeling like you’re going to stop respecting him Never ever belittling him as a man – emasculating him There are more nuances and details to it than this, but this is the bulk of it. When a man feel safe in a relationship, he will stay with you forever. Some quick tips for communication with a man: NEVER use the silent treatment.This is one of the worst ways to handle communication. When you purposely shut down to manipulate, you can only expect him to pull away from you. Don’t jump to conclusions.Find out all the facts. The more you know about his truth, the faster you will get to the solution. Discuss the event, not the man.Don’t fall into judgement. Stay as emotionally detached as you can. Because the second you react from your emotions, you run the risk of scaring him off. The more he feels like he’s safe with you, the better. Stay out of the past.Talk using the future and present tense, not the past tense.discuss only those problems which are most immediate. If you go back on an Evidence Collecting Mission into the past, you will both lose. Talk about everything in terms of fixing the future. Concentrate on your problem, and don’t get distracted by other minor issues.Inevitably you’re both going to bring up some bitter words on occasion. If you start reacting to them in the middle of discussing the bigger topics, you’ll lose focus on the communication. Use ‘I feel’ statements, not ‘You are’ statements.I get it. It’s a very common trap, but you have to avoid it. If you start labeling him in the middle of a conversation, he’s going to start shutting down. And you are likely to as well. Or the both of you will just get more and more emotional.The only thing you can ever talk about is your feelings. Because both of you feel like you know the Truth. The Most Important Communication Skill In A Relationship The most important communication skill in a relationship is also the easiest. In fact it’s probably the one that you never really thought about very much. He just wants to be understood… In fact, most women never realize how easy communication is once you master this simple trick. By now, you might be wondering what it is. Well, I won’t keep you in suspense any longer. But when you hear it, you might not realize just how important it really is. The most important communication skill you can have in your relationship is… Listening. Not just any listening mind you. This is the kind of listening that a woman gives when she understands a man and his experience. And I’ll tell you right now that 95% of women don’t really understand what a man’s experience is. (Yes, 95% of men also struggle understanding women. But it’s far easier for you to get educated than it is to change all other men.) In order to listen to him and hear what he has to say, you’ve also got to know what he is actually talking about. Let’s face it, men don’t have a very sophisticated emotional vocabulary. Talking about his feelings is pretty foreign to him. If you’re going to reach him, you’re going to have to know how to talk to him. There are some shortcuts to communication in your relationship. The most important one is knowing the password to a man’s heart. Just like logging into a computer or to your social media account, when you know the “password” for your man, he is no longer a mystery to you. You’ll have all the access to his love that you need! There are words that men will listen to. There are things you can say to him that will open his heart. Find out more – here: Forever Yours – The Secret Password To His Heart
Advice

6 Mantras to Meet and Marry Your Man
No matter how hard we try and convince ourselves that we really don’t need a man and the hassles of dating and we’re just fine on our own, we have to admit that men and romance have an important place in our lives. (At times we even live vicariously through others.) Having the right man (aka. Your man) can make your life easier and more comfortable and give you amazing opportunities to experience yourself in ways that are not possible when you’re single. So how can you attract your man? Especially when you’ve tried everything you can think of to do! The good news is you usually don’t have to work harder or stress as much as you do now. You just have to learn how to look at relationships in a new way. It starts with how you think. In my coaching programs, I spend as much time teaching how to reframe who we are in relationships in a way that serves us as I do the understanding and information on how we act and communicate differently as men and women. Why? Because it’s through understanding who we are in relationship that makes all the difference in how we relate to another. When we reframe our attitudes and belief systems around relationships, then combine them with the understanding of how we operate as men and women we dramatically increase our chances of having a long-term, successful, intimate relationship! To help you start rethinking and bringing love into your life, here are six mantras you can say to help you meet and marry your man. Mantra #1: “I am responsible for my relationship success.” We alone are responsible for our relationship success (or lack of it.) Know that where you are right now in terms of relationship success is a direct result of your own actions. Blaming other people or circumstances will prevent you from moving forward in love. If you truly believe your circumstances are attributable to the actions of others and that you were powerless and had no control over your situation, you are also powerless to change your life now. The good news is, accepting responsibility for your relationship success gives you complete permission and the power to build the future you’ve always wanted. We are responsible in creating our own lives–life doesn’t just happen to us. You need to believe the same if you want to improve your love life and your romantic relationships. Mantra #2: “I learn about relationships from people who have successful romantic relationships.” Consider who are you taking relationship advice from: single friends and family who struggle with dating and divorce, single dating coaches or successful mentors who have proven they know how to make a marriage last? Successful people take advice from more successful people than they are in most businesses as well as love. They also continually learn and advance their knowledge about relationships, communication and what it takes to have a long-term, intimate, continuous relationship. Take time to learn from those who know and get support. Mantra #3: “I take care of myself first.” Until you learn how to really take care of yourself, the universe will not support you. Learning to love and take care of yourself requires discipline. It means not doing something for someone else unless you feel good about doing it. It means taking care of yourself by working out, eating well, getting rest and staying away from toxic men and toxic situations.If you don’t take care of yourself and feel good, you ain’t good for anyone else. Mantra #4: “I am open, available and receptive.” When you want a romantic relationship, you must be open and available to receive what the universe presents. Are you seeing opportunities, potential dates and romance? Or are you seeing no available men, no dates and only geeks? Love comes from unexpected places. Often we’re quick to judge the external package before getting to know the person inside. Do your best to stay open, available and receptive to those who present on your path. Mantra #5: “I love to receive – especially from men.” If you have trouble receiving what a man has to offer, you probably have trouble receiving love in relationships. It’s amazing how we think we’re receiving when we really aren’t. It can be as simple as when a man says, “what a beautiful dress” and we respond, “Oh this? I got it on sale.” Without receiving the man’s compliment, we slam what he has to offer and deny his joy of giving. This is something we need to work on constantly. Next time a man gives you a compliment, an invitation or a phone call, simply smile and say, “Thank you. I appreciate that.” Mantra #6: “I enjoy giving back in appreciation.” Just recently I was speaking with a friend over lunch. She was telling me about a new man she’s been seeing and how nice it is that he has taken her out several times. When I asked her how she was giving back in appreciation, she looked at me and said, “I thought it was the man’s responsibility to take me out.” It is initially, however when a man takes you out two or three times, give him something back in appreciation. Cook him a meal. Send him a card. Invite him to a concert or dinner party. Men like to feel appreciated for their generosity. It’s important for you to acknowledge and reward him when he does something nice for you.

The Dos And Donts Of The E-Lationship
Doing the long-distance thing used to be mad difficult. Even as recently as the mid-20th century, women used to have to get pregnant just to have something to remind them of husbands who had gone off to fight the good fight overseas, while the menfolk were left with naught but faded photos and moonshine-soaked memories to remind them of the female companionship they so desperately craved. These days, trans-zip code lovin’ isn’t necessarily easy, but information superhighways (and real superhighways, for that matter) have made things – in theory – considerably less frustrating. There are, however, some rules of the road that you should review before embarking on this overwhelming and confusing journey. Don’t: Assume phone calls are the only way to communicate. All too often, a well-meaning gent misses vital communication opportunities because he assumes that his lady only wants to hear from him when he has time for a two-hour phone call. This is a falsehood. No one has time for two-hour phone calls these days; with BBMing and pinging and txting and carrier pigeons, talking on the phone is for chumps, son. And doesn’t it seem to defeat the purpose of ‘staying in touch’ to ignore someone for weeks simply because you don’t have time for a marathon chatfest (Hint: It does)? In fact, it reminds me of an old chestnut I tend to call upon in these types of situations: “it’s like cutting off your nose to spite your face.” You might think it doesn’t make sense, but trust me. It does. The rate of success in long-distance relationships is directly proportional to the level of communication achieved, so if you’re going to rely solely on your land line to sustain your relationship, then you might as well just send a breakup letter by pony express and start looking for a new girlfriend in the personal ads of your local newspaper. Don’t forsake the 1,000 ways to get in touch afforded by modern technology in favor of such an outdated method of communication as bi-weekly phone call. Your paramour doesn’t want to steal your free time, she just wants to hear that (1) you’re alive and (2) she’s on your mind, so in between your lengthier communiqués, shoot her a one-line email whenever you’re thinking about her, text her funny things that happen to you, or, if you must, call her when you know she won’t pick up and leave silly messages. As with most things, it’s a lot easier than you think. Do: Figure out what her communication preferences are. Some people don’t even know what Gchat is. (I know, right? It’s ludicrous.) To this end, do not assume that the object of your affection is capable of or interested in engaging in the same types of insta-communication as you are until you’ve actually discussed it. Even if her screen name shows up on your chat list (some people don’t realize they’ve been signed in to AIM since 1997), even if she sometimes responds to your text messages (some people don’t realize they’re being charged $2.75 for every outgoing text they send), and even if she writes on your wall four times in a row (some people only remember the existence of social networking when eavesdropping on their coworkers’ conversations), there is no guarantee that her messaging habits are anywhere in line with your preferences. Case in point: if you wrongfully assume that she’s a BBM-aholic, then you run the risk of being disappointed when she reads your message and doesn’t respond right away. If, however, you start by casually asking her what she thinks of BBMing, then you might discover that she doesn’t know how to respond without deleting the original message. You then win, because you’ve sussed out some useful information about her, AND you get to teach her something, thereby demonstrating how smart, capable and awesome (read: fuckable) you are. Don’t: Overdo it with the emoticons. I pity the fool who punctuates every single sentiment he ever has with a “ ” or a “ ” (especially the latter, as all I can think about when I see it is how doofy the guy on the other end must look, which is not what I’d imagine he wants me thinking while he’s trying to put the moves on me from 3,000 miles away). Or “ :$ ”. Really, who came up with that? What is its purpose on this earth? Emoticons are the internet equivalent of laughing nervously and fiddling with whatever’s in your pockets to avoid looking directly at your date. It makes you look uncomfortable, which in turn makes you undesirable. Lame city, boys. Now, I will admit that I enjoy a well-placed emoticon, especially when employed in an ironic-yet-sincere fashion, and we all respect the fact that sometimes you just need that happy little smiley to get your point across. Just cut yourself off after, let’s say, three, lest you become that emoti-crazy guy we make fun of to our friends over cosmos.

The Poor Man’s Guide to Attraction
I stumbled across an old article on Psychology Today that explains how money is one of the sexiest things a man can possess: Money. The article states that money provides men with power, rewards, and freedom. The author reasons that money provides power because it signals that a man will be a good provider, leads to improved confidence, and also gives him a healthy dose of prestige. He also believes that money brings freedom, which leads to better sex lives because people rich people afford to “travel to exotic places and because they [have] more free time”. Finally, he believes that money can buy “sexy toys” and “rewards” for her; like exotic sports cars, fancy dinners and beautiful jewelry. However, at Loveawake, we believe that while money can’t hurt, you simply don’t need to be rich to have the same sex appeal that rich men have. While rich men may naturally think and act more confidently, you can do the same if you focus on being genuine, being refreshing, and determining your own value as a person. Women want confidence, excitement, and a man who carries himself like he is valued. That is what is sexy. Guys often think if they have a lot of money, they’ll have a higher value, and be able to get more girls because of their value. The truth is that value should not be based on external factors. If you base your worth on the opinions of strangers, you’ll be dependent on others to find any happiness in life. To be a person of truly high value, you have to believe you have high value – If you carry yourself as if you are high value, you’ll come off as having high value to those around you. You’ll have social power just as someone with far more monetary value would. Always remember that fun is the most important currency in social interactions. Rich guys can buy fun; they can give rides in expensive cars, take girls to fancy restaurants or on shopping excursions. However, just because you don’t have money doesn’t mean you can’t be associated with fun. Be refreshing. Be animated. Be fun. Smiling is contagious. If a girl associates you with fun, she’ll want to spend time with you to experience those feelings more often. If she associates you with the same old pick-up lines, sleazy maneuvers, and dull encounters she normally has, you’ll get nowhere with her. Girls want refreshing. If you carry yourself differently, you’ll stand out from the crowd the same way someone with money would when not having to worry about the price tag. You don’t need to spend money to be fun, you simply need to be fun: giving the girl the freedom to be relaxed and enjoy herself. If you can’t buy these things, how can you be as rewarding as the rich guy can be? Women consider reward to be anything fulfilling. Shallow women may find fulfillment in things – the jewelry, clothes, and trips – but women of high value, the ones you want to be looking for, find fulfillment in relationships. Reward a woman by being genuine. A woman can read right through some fake story or fancy outfit meant to make the man appear of higher value. If you act like who you really are, you’ll be so much sexier than a fake facade ever could be, and worth more to her than a fancy ring. Money can buy many things (including a sense of safety), but genuine confidence will supply you with more in the long run. So remember, even if you can’t afford a pot to piss in: Be fresh and genuine. Be fun. Be confident. It’ll make you sexy. We guarantee it!

The Three Steps to Dealing with a Bad Date
Dating in 2019 is faster, more fun and more inclusive than ever before. Thanks largely to mature online dating websites, many people over 50 are going on more first dates than they did in their twenties! It’s amazing news, with more of us finding special people than we ever would have just two decades ago. However, it’s not all good news because, as anyone who’s been on a date will tell you, not every date you go on is a total smash. Whether they’re not what they advertise, you didn’t get on or you simply don’t see them as a viable romantic partner. Whatever the reason, some dates simply don’t work out. Whilst it’s tempting to simply cut your losses and avoid talking to them again, it’s also deeply unfair. Quite simply, they have a right to know that they should focus their efforts elsewhere and that there’s nothing between the two of you. So, how do you deal with a bad date? Here are our top tips. Give yourself a Day or Two Coming off the back of a bad date, you’re often not in the right headspace to make a considered, thoughtful judgement. You might be angry, annoyed, disappointed or frustrated. After all, the build-up to a first date can be a flurry of positive, exciting emotions. So, when it all goes wrong, you’ll often feel rightfully upset. At this point, it’s important that you give yourself a day or two to get yourself back to normality before you compose your message. It’ll mean greater honesty and compassion in your message and help bring some much-needed clarity to the situation. Get in Touch Your next step is to reach out and get in touch with your date. If you only went on one date, a simple message will suffice. If, however, you’ve seen each other a number of times, it’s probably worth picking up the phone and speaking to them directly. We’re not saying you have to spell out every detail of why you won’t be seeing again, but a little clarity does help your opposite number understand what went wrong and where they can change in the future. Just because you aren’t into them doesn’t mean that the whole thing has to be a total wash. Get Back on the Horse Bad dates have a terrible habit of colouring our opinion on future dates, but we shouldn’t let the ghosts of bad dates from days gone by ruin our future. Online dating gives you the perfect platform to climb back on the horse from. Search through the database, find somebody who catches your eye and meet somebody brilliant. It’s as simple as that, and you’ll quickly find that the best way to banish the memory of bad dates is good ones. The best news? Up until the end of April, we’re offering 40% off on every subscription package at Maturity Dating using the code SPRING40! So, sign up today and find love sooner.

What Does This Gift Say About His Feelings For Me?
Here is a recent question from a reader: “I’ve been dating a man for a couple of months. He’s very nice and we enjoy each other’s company. Things seemed to be going well. He always seems to have money and enjoys spending it, paying for our dates, etc. He buys clothes for himself often and likes to show off his purchases. In fact, he’s a bit vain with his appearance. For my birthday he gave me a silver necklace that I know probably didn’t cost $20.00. I’m not greedy, nor a gold digger but it seems odd compared to the spending he does on himself. Am I expecting too much to think that his gift should have been at least a little nicer? I had hinted months ago about a concert I wanted to see but he made an excuse that he didn’t get tickets in time and there were no good seats left. I don’t want to seem ungrateful but I admit I was disappointed.” This certainly seems like a contradiction in his character so what does it mean regarding his feelings for her? Should she have received something a little nicer? Everything a man does while you are getting to know him gives you invaluable information about who he is, what’s important to him, and what you can expect more of in the future. Some general thoughts about gifts: When a man is trying to woo a woman, feels romantically toward her or is in love he will typically give her romantic ‘heart type’ gifts. Flowers, candy, jewelry, romantic cards or love letters, dinners are all “heart” gifts. Practical gifts like appliances, books, pen sets are not from the heart, but from the head and can be a sign of passionless intentions or that a relationship is fizzling out. An exception is if the practical gift is something you really wanted/needed and he mixes it with other romantic gifts…then well, enjoy the toaster oven, he is still hot for you. Another exception is that while some men are not gift givers, nor romantic they may still be very devoted, loyal husbands. I have a friend who married an engineer; he takes practicality and logic to a new level. He’s never bought her flowers and if she’s lucky enough to get a gift, it’s non-romantic. Think gift card. But he is a good father, kind, steadfast and honorable. Her car is always filled with gas; she never lifts anything heavy, he kills all the bugs in the house and generously occupies the kids so she can cook dinner undeterred. She doesn’t dwell on what she’s missing. If she wants something, she goes and buys it herself. But that is her. There is nothing wrong with wanting your birthday and holidays celebrated in romantic ways. If to you that means dinners, flowers, gifts, and cards, so be it. Just like there is nothing wrong with a man who wants a buxom, blond bombshell. Trouble begins when a woman picks a non-romantic man, marries him then cries every year at her birthday when he lets her down or the man who marries a flat chested brunette and nags her to bleach her hair and get a boob job. Your job is to simply pay attention and decide if THIS man as he is will make you happy. Okay, so what’s Cheap Necklace Man’s story? Based on the above generalizations, that he gave a piece of jewelry is a good sign, but the fact that it was obviously very inexpensive compared to what he normally spends is something to consider. This is a sensitive issue. I want to stress that while it appears that money the issue, it really is not. It’s attitudes toward money, generousness and intentions that are important things to know about a man before you marry him. The only reason money becomes a part of this equation is because of the obvious disparity in his usual spending habits. Without knowing more about the man and relationship, I advised her to ask these questions: Is it possible his feelings have changed? Has the relationship cooled? Is his gift mediocre because it matches his feelings toward you? Pay attention to how he behaves in other areas of the relationship. While he has money and enjoys spending it, it’s possible he only really enjoys spending it on himself. Hey, it’s his money and he can do with it what he pleases, but if you are considering him as marriage material you can probably expect more of the same. Will you be happy if he splurges on himself but is stingy when it comes to your birthday, Christmas or Valentine’s Day? Will he be the type of man who monitors what you spend and only wants you to make purchases on things he deems worthwhile? Does he use his money to control? I once dated a man who was wealthy and paid for everything but who liked to joke that he “paid the cost to be boss”. In other words, it’s never what YOU want, it’s always what HE wants. You mentioned he is vain and buys a lot of clothes and enjoys showing them off to you. These can be signs of insecurity. If he is he may be so busy focusing on himself and his insecure feelings he may not be tuned in enough to you to make your special day a priority. This may have something to do with the fact that his poor planning prevented him from getting you what he knew you really wanted. Is he wonderful in every other way? If he remains a lousy gift giver but has many other important qualities you want in a man, it may be okay with you to smile sweetly and proclaim “I love it!” then secretly sneak off to exchange or return his presents. You are the only one who can evaluate what is happening in the relationship and how happy all of his qualities and quirks will make you. There is nothing shallow or greedy about your concern. It really is not about the amount of money he spent but about what his obvious lack of effort has meant to you. Good Luck
Jealousy

How To Make Him Jealous – And Love You More! – 12 Secrets
One of the most common problems a woman has is when a guy seems to be losing interest. And you know that one of the best ways to get him interested again it’s figuring out how to make him jealous – and how to make him love you again. It always seems like he’s got another priority above you. You never feel like you’re at the top of his list. And you probably know that “stoking the fire” with his emotions is a way to inspire him. Look, jealousy works. I’m going to show you how to use this powerful emotion to your advantage. Because he should be feeling a little insecure from time to time, right? The reality is that we all get a little bit jaded. We start to take our significant other for granted, and we don’t pay attention like we should. Men are especially prone to this. And every so often he needs a good kick in the butt. “But Carlos, why jealousy? Isn’t this manipulation?” Well, if you ask any woman who has a guy who isn’t making HER a priority, she doesn’t care one bit how she gets the attention she deserves. She just knows she wants it. And you should get that attention! If you’re jealous of the time he’s spending with his friends, or with other people instead of you, then you know exactly how you want him to feel about you. Jealousy can definitely be used for good in your relationship because it can: Make him remember your value Make him remember his feelings that he may have put aside Remind him how blessed and lucky he is to have you Show him that you are still attractive and desirable, and other men want you Make him understand that you are not permanently obligated to be his Remind him how much he wanted you before the complacency set in – just get rid of whatever “boredom” he might be feeling Rule #1: Use jealousy ONLY for good. Never to manipulate. The reason I’m showing you this method is because it’s ETHICAL – because it’s for a WIN-WIN. WARNING: When I show you psychological tricks like this, I assume that you are a good person. That you would never misuse or abuse these strategies. The other part is, it’s not manipulation when we are doing it with heart. If you know you are coaxing your man to do the right thing, then it’s never manipulation. It’s inspiration. Jealousy is one of the most powerful emotions. It’s like super-concentrated explosive. Just a little goes a long way. Jealousy is a warning – that something important to you is about to be lost. Or possibly taken away. Jealousy will absolutely keep you ON HIS MIND. I’m guessing you’ve probably felt jealous about something at some point in your life. Everyone has. Jealousy is intense and it gets you moving like nothing else. Jealousy motivates you to take action immediately to protect what you have. And that’s why it’s so important to use jealousy effectively if you’re going to make a man pay attention to you. You’ve got to get this guy off his butt and working to win your heart again. If you don’t, he will just keep losing interest and eventually fade away. Or, more likely, he will simply find someone else. And who will be jealous then? Unfortunately, probably you. So let’s make sure that doesn’t happen! Rule #2: Jealousy is powerful, only use a little tiny bit. The one problem with jealousy is if you use too much, you can poison your relationship. So go easy and don’t overdo it. You don’t want to create toxic feelings between you and him. Especially if he thinks you are playing games. (Which, if you do as I explain, this won’t happen.) Jealousy has explosive power, which is important for you to leverage. Keep Him On His Toes – Jealousy Tactic 1: Remember Yourself Look, the reality is that when you’re in a relationship, sometimes you forget to make yourself a priority. This happens frequently for women. When you do, you stop showing him how he should treat you. Remember the saying: “We teach others how to treat us.” We do this by how we treat ourselves. Make yourself a priority again! Pamper yourself Remind yourself of your strengths Remember your personal power In order for a man to really value you, he has to see that you value yourself. So you must always start with getting back to basics. Make sure you are tending to your own feelings of self-worth. Jealousy Tip 2: Drop a firecracker One of the best ways to remind a guy what he could lose is to remind him that you were not always pining away for him. You had other boyfriends who really appreciated you. Drop a small firecracker near him by mentioning something from your dating past. Don’t be obvious with this, make sure it’s something that fits into the conversation. For example: You’re talking about where to go on vacation and what to pack. You could say: “Yeah, I remember when Tim (your ex) and I went to Hawaii. We didn’t bring nearly enough clothes. And we had to do laundry. We should avoid that if we can.” You don’t need to flaunt what you did with Tim, just mention his name casually. You don’t even need to go into specifics. Your guy’s “Boyfriend Brain” will do the rest for you. A word of caution: Do not mention sex with previous boyfriends. This is going too far and could likely backfire on you. Your current guy will interpret your mentioning this as trying to start a fight. Don’t go there. Jealousy Tip 3: Be a little extra flirty If a woman wants to be constantly in demand, she must always play the role of the Coquette. In fact, Coquette actually means “a woman who flirts.” ALL of the most desirable women flirt a little bit. Never disrespectful to their partners, but just enough to remind him that you’ve got options. For example, the next time you meet up with some friends, make sure you give the guy friends a little extra hug. Maybe even a peck on the cheek. In fact, at this point I want to make sure you’re aware of something: No matter how innocently or casually you flirt, a man will always use anger to demonstrate his jealousy. Yes, this means he might get a little bit mad. (If he gets really mad, that means he has some anger issues or you just went too far.) When a guy gets mad, most women seek to pacify him. High demand women don’t coddle his reaction. Let him be a little mad. He’s not really mad at you, he’s mad that he feels threatened. Guess when a man will put in the most effort? When will he work the hardest to keep you? Exactly – when he’s threatened. That’s when he gets his butt in gear and gets moving. Isn’t that what you wanted? If so then don’t let your fear of his emotional reaction (anger) stop you. As the saying goes, if you want to make an omelette you have to break a few eggs. Don’t wuss out! Jealousy Tip 4: Pause the flow Chances are he’s gotten very used to you responding to his texts right away. You probably do this thinking that it is respectful and how you would want him to treat you. The problem is that we don’t treat people the way we are treated. We treat people the way they treat themselves. So my next suggestion for you is that you Pause The Flow – slow down on texting him. If you usually text him every single day in the morning, stop. Increase the time in between your texts. If he usually texts you back on his lunch break, wait a little extra longer before you text him back. The more he waits on you, the more he’s thinking about you. It’s a simple rule. If a guy feels like he’s got you wrapped around his finger, he’s going to get lazy with his attention and his affection for you. He’ll take his sweet time to respond to you figuring that he’s got you all locked up, nice and neat. It’s your goal to break this assumption in his head. Shake up his world. The more you can make him doubt his hold on you, the better. Then he goes back to trying to win you over again. The way he should have from the very start. Remember, a man isn’t yours until he begs you to marry him. Most women give up the game way too early. And as a result they end up chasing their man for the rest of their lives, instead of him chasing you. Which one would you rather have? Jealousy Tip 5: Touch Tactic Every so often it’s a good idea to casually touch another guy in your man’s presence. What I mean by this is, just a momentary hand on the arm of some other guy while you’re with your man is a good idea. It’s innocent enough that he can’t really make a big deal out of it. (But don’t you worry, he will. And he may even try to make it sound like it’s your fault.) Don’t fall for his games! You know that you’re just innocently flirting. If he can’t handle it, he’s now just realizing that he doesn’t have the hold on you he thought he did. Time for him to wake up and smell the coffee! Jealousy Tip 6: Go Out Somewhere Fun & Social – with the girls! If you’re not already spending time with your friends, you may have fallen victim to one of the biggest traps of dating and relationships: the Trap of forgetting your friends. A lot of women fall into a pattern of giving all of their time to their boyfriend. This is one of the ways you can really sabotage your relationship. You should be going out with your girlfriends at least once a month if you can. Definitely no less than once every two months. And of course going to lunch here and there as well. But you should definitely get out to have a dinner and drinks with some of your friends. No men allowed. (Except the ones that hit on you, of course!) You should text him a picture of you looking all dressed up and ready to go out. You get extra points if you can make sure there’s at least one single girl in your group. This will give him a little apprehension that will keep you on his mind. Jealousy Tip 7: Meet a stranger Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be friendly and social. In fact, it’s a good idea to talk to new people from time to time – even men. If you happen to get approached by a guy who starts a conversation, don’t rush away in a panic that you’re somehow cheating on your boyfriend all of a sudden. In fact, if you find yourself worrying about this sort of thing when talking to new people, you should check in with yourself and figure out why. Make friends with new people. Expand your Social Circle. And if a guy happens to talk to you, you’ve got nothing to feel guilty about. In fact, you might even want to mention it in conversation later on to your man. Jealousy Tip 8: Compliment his buddy Assuming that he has decent quality friends, then you should from time to time pass them a compliment. Not in an overt sexual kind of way or anything, just a nice compliment. Maybe it’s about something he’s wearing, or a smart decision he made. Always feel free to be generous with your appreciation of others. Mind you, if you’re not complimenting your man regularly, this can seem a little bit touchy. Make sure you’re still appreciating him before you use this strategy of complimenting someone else. He wants your praise. And he will work hard to get it! Jealousy Tip 9: Ignore him for a bit If you’ve ever felt ignored or been ignored before, then you know the power of this! Every so often he needs to feel what it would be like to NOT have you. Make him wonder what you’re doing and what you’re up to without him. Plant the seeds of doubt and insecurity in HIM for once. (Instead of YOU!) Just choose one evening or whole day of the week and don’t respond to him at all. No calls or texts. Then just pick it up right where you left off in the next morning. Like there was no gap. Think about it this way, if you are a high-demand woman, would you be responding to him within seconds of his every text or call? NO, you wouldn’t! You’d be too busy paying attention to your own life – your friends, and social circle. And that would be a healthy thing to do! Remember: Always act like the high-demand woman you wish to be. Make sure he knows that you’re NOT available for him every moment of every day. Well, at least not until he finally proposes to you. Jealousy Tip 10: Go spend some time with a male friend There’s absolutely nothing wrong with spending a little quality time with your friends. And if that friend happens to be a guy, so what? As long as there’s no funny business, then there’s nothing to discuss here. You are completely in the clear if you want to do it. And you should do it, and let your boyfriend know about it. Go meet for a friendly dinner, nothing romantic. Stir up some emotion in your man as he starts planning how to chase you again. Jealousy Tip 11: Start dressing up again There’s a good chance you may have fallen into patterns of dressing in a more “casual” way after your relationship got going. After all, you don’t need to win him anymore do you? (Sorry, those yoga pants should not be your default attire. Get back to some fashion!) And the truth of the matter is, you need to feel valued yourself! When you dress up and go out: other men will pay attention to you you’ll feel better about yourself you’ll probably get compliments and attention from lots of people you’re keeping the mindset of a high-value woman! And of course, this will get his gears turning. He’ll wonder why you suddenly decided to care about your appearance again. All you have to tell him is: “I just wanted to get back to my old self.” Let him figure out what that means. Jealousy Tip 12: When other guys approach you or ask you out, let him know about it As soon as you start treating yourself like the high-value woman you are, other men will notice. Other men will approach you and talk to you and probably ask you out. I’m just warning you because it’s going to feel great. You’re going to wonder why you didn’t do this before. Maybe you’ll feel a little bit squirmy about it, but you’ll get over that when you realize what you were missing out on. And when other guys start paying attention to you, you should soak it in. Don’t misuse or exploit it, but definitely let it encourage and validate you a little. And also let this realization really hit you: You’re desirable! How does that feel? To know that? And when a guy does hit on you or ask you out, casually mention it to your man. Let him absorb that concept fully. Let him realize that he also needs to work to keep your attention. This is a healthy thing. Jealousy Tip 13: Post a picture of you with other male friends Sometimes social media is a great tool for reminding your man what he needs to pay attention to. The next time you’re out with some male friends or coworkers, take a selfie with a few of them. Post it on your Facebook page, or in Instagram. Then listen as your man starts asking all kinds of questions about it. And he gets back to work on chasing YOU! Jealousy Tip 14: Talk Up A Movie Star Back when I first met my wife, she had a crush on Brad Pitt. He was probably the only Hollywood star she thought was hot. And every time she talked about him part of me would bristle. After all, why isn’t she talking about me like that? (Besides the fact that I’m no Brad Pitt) The truth of the matter is, most Hollywood stars wouldn’t be very fun to date. They may look attractive, but their personalities are not appealing to say the least. But that shouldn’t stop you from letting your boyfriend know about that one sexy celebrity that you love to look at. Especially if you can bring it up in conversation around some of your girlfriends. Let him know – subtly – that this celeb really gets you going. You can do it with a simple glowing look and smile, or a deep “mmmmmmm….” when you see a picture. It can also be inspiration to get him exercising again and caring about his appearance. He knows on some level that he can’t compare to the status of a hot movie star, and probably never will. And this is something that all men struggle a little bit with. Why not use it to wake him up a little bit? To get him to want to win you over all over again. Every so often, if he’s back to working on his appearance, then compliment him on it! Jealousy Tip 15: Cancel a date When a guy starts taking you for granted, there’s a very good chance he just assumes you’re always going to be there for him. And chances are you have been too available for him. When you are always there when he asks, and always available to go out when he feels like asking you, you’re diminishing your value. Imagine if you were trying to negotiate a better price on a car. And you say to the salesman: “Wow! I gotta have this car! It’s perfect.” Right at that moment, the salesman knows he’s GOT you. He doesn’t have to lower his price one bit because you’ve made it clear you’ll pay whatever he asks. It’s the same thing in relationships! If you’re too easy, don’t be surprised if the other person takes advantage of this. Every so often, cancel a date on him. Let him know that you won’t always be available at his beck and call. Let him have a few doubts about his hold on you. It was these doubts that made him work to win you in the first place! What Happens After He Feels A Little Jealous? Will He Come Back? Don’t be surprised if he comes back to you with double the energy, once you’ve inspired him to stop taking you for granted. Most men who are still emotionally attached will actually ENJOY the rush of feeling emotions about you again. It will awaken his desire. On the other hand, if he doesn’t feel jealous for some reason, then you’ve got a serious problem to look at. If he isn’t jealous, this shows that you no longer inspire fear of loss in him. It probably means he isn’t in love anymore. Not only this, but it might mean that he’s already started dating or looking at dating other people. If you can’t get a man to feel a little jealous, this means you have no influence over him – and that means you better act FAST. And if this is the case, you need a more serious plan to get him interested in you again. So, these jealousy tactics are not just good for waking him up – they can be an early warning system for a relationship in trouble. Jealousy, when properly used, is a very effective tool in your arsenal. Don’t be afraid to use it! Not to hurt the other person, but to make a point – remind him that you’re not going to be taken advantage of. Or for granted… Or ignored! Go take a look at this plan for getting him to feel irresistible desire for you…

Jealousy and Envy: Duo of Self-Destruction
“I wish I had a body like that.” These words slipped from my mind and out of my mouth recently when I was at a party and I noticed a fit (and also nearly middle aged) friend of mine looking amazing in a mini-skirt. In what seemed like a split second, I spoke words that not only expressed my desire to look that fabulous in a mini-skirt, but also my own insecurities about my current body size and shape. One of my passions in life is to affirm the beauty in all people and, specifically, to help women accept and love their bodies and themselves more fully. How embarrassed I was to have this envious statement come from me! But, it happens to just about every one of us, even those who work hard on personal growth. Jealousy and envy creep up and come out in our thoughts, words and actions– sometimes when we least expect them. You are probably well aware of how damaging jealousy can be to a love relationship, marriage or even a friendship. You may struggle with fears that your partner will leave you for someone more attractive/successful/sexy/funny or whatever. This can manifest in interrogation, accusation and spying too. You might jealously worry that your friends will stop inviting you out or stop confiding in you because there are “so many” others who are better friends/cooler/more fun/more interesting or whatever your insecure mind comes up with. You may be envious of the “good luck,” passionate relationship, prosperous bank account, creative talents or amazingly fit body of friends, family or strangers walking down the street. Jealousy and envy can wreak havoc on a relationship with another person. Distance and conflict are inevitable after-effects that can lead to a breakup or the end of the relationship. This unwanted duo is also painful and destructive to you. There is no doubt that trying to keep a relationship or friendship together when you are weighed down by habitual jealous or envious thoughts is difficult. Adding to this is the emotional pain and exhaustion that often accompany this way of thinking, believing and acting. It’s a lot of work to carry around all of these doubting, fearful, worrisome and self-deprecating beliefs! Your self esteem tends to plummet, you might experience physical and emotional health problems and it’s nearly impossible to enjoy the life you have and reach your goals. Recognize jealousy and envy when they first crop up. A common reaction to noticing uncomfortable thoughts or feelings is to ignore or push them down. This is understandable, but not beneficial. When that envious statement came out of my mouth at the party, I very quickly felt like crawling in a hole. I felt immature and not very enlightened or healthy about my own body image. Despite urges you might have to deny or numb out so that you can’t “hear” your jealous or envious thoughts, it’s really in your best interests to acknowledge them and do so as soon as you notice them. It’s just about always easier to tend to destructive habits when they’re just cropping up and before they intensify and solidify. This is common sense, but very few of us take the time to actually do it. So, here’s your (and my) reminder to be courageous and acknowledge jealousy and envy as soon as you notice them. Don’t make yourself “wrong” or even “right” or “justified” for thinking and feeling this way, just notice. Even if you catch yourself in the middle of speaking out loud or taking action from a place of jealousy or envy, catch yourself and pause. Focus in on acknowledging what’s real for you in the moment without judgment and without continuing down that habitual path. Pay attention to what jealousy and envy are trying to tell you. It’s time to get curious. Thoughts like, “I wish I had a body like that” don’t just form from nothing. There is almost always a deeper story and set of beliefs and desires that link up to jealousy and envy. Any fearful, worrisome or self-deprecating thoughts, words and actions are more than what they seem. They are rarely just off-the- cuff remarks. They indicate places where you are possibly hurting, insecure or wanting a change. Instead of merely brushing off your jealousy and envy– because it’s more comfortable to do so– take that second and deeper look at what your thoughts, words and actions are trying to tell you. *What is possibly unresolved and yet to heal from your past?*What might be going on right now that is not in alignment with your values and goals?*What do you desire to change about yourself or to experience differently?*What is (at least) one thing you can do to challenge those limiting beliefs and start to make a shift? Again, move away from labeling any part of this process “right,” “wrong,” “good” or “bad.” Really listen and learn from your jealousy and envy and then decide what your next move will be

Ruining Your Life: 7 Steps to Stop Jealousy & Bitterness
Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Email WhatsApp Pinterest Print Sometimes you feel jealous of other people’s happiness, success, or love life. You should be happy for the other person but compassion is difficult when you are feeling broken inside or if your life is falling to pieces. Your desire to love others and have a relationship may be overwhelming; you could also be seeking more from life and work. Feelings of jealousy, frustration, and even depression could be caused by your jealousy. You need to stop this jealousy to move on with your life. Jealousy can have negative consequences. Feelings of lust and rage manifest itself in jealousy. The key is to acknowledge your jealousy and respond appropriately. You can’t simply run away from your situation. Steps To Overcome Jealousy The following steps will help you to overcome your bitterness and jealousy. 1: Find Solitude When jealousy strikes you will need to give it attention. Find a quiet spot where you will not be interrupted and that makes you feel peaceful. 2: Accept Your Emotions You already know you are feeling jealous so you need to feel the emotion. Acknowledge it but do not overindulge in the jealousy. Consider why you are feeling jealous. Is it simply because the other person has something you want? Or is it because of your own unhappiness with your life? Exploring your feelings of jealousy may lead you to realize your hidden wants. 3: Understand The Lesson Every emotion is trying to teach you something about yourself. The feelings of being jealous is usually a result of sadness or fear. Use this feeling to help you change and make it a positive situation. Accept who you are and let go of any grudges you may have against other people. 4: Observe Your Emotions You cannot avoid negative emotions so embrace the problem but do not become attached to it. Feelings will come and go, including the jealous emotions you currently experience. It does not have to affect your life forever but will reveal details about your beliefs and expectations. Read More: Emotions: Affection Or Withholding Revenge 5: Identify Toxic Issues Jealousy can often stem from toxic situations or environments. Identify these issues in your life and let go of them. You need to stay away from toxic thoughts as it will make you miserable and cloud your judgment. If you cannot change the toxic environment then you will need to change your outlook on life to stop the jealous attitude. 6: Take a Break If you are jealous and this emotion is triggered by friends or family then you need to take time for yourself. Tell the people in your life that you need to unwind and need time to relax. This will buffer your jealousy and give you space to understand your emotions. 7: Self-help Strategies Support your reflection with other self-help strategies. You can spend time meditating or doing exercise. Affirmations and reading self-help books can aid you in overcoming your emotions. Jealousy can prevent you from having good relationships. Address the situation and discover your emotions to understand the roots of your jealousy. Once you have understood what is happening, head on over to GoMarry.com for more expert tips and relationship advice.

Why Is He Trying To Make Me Jealous? – The Secret Psychology
Some women believe that men try to push their buttons. The truth however, it’s exactly the opposite. If you’re wondering “Why is he trying to make me jealous?” – then this article should help you understand him better. And I will also explain what to do if he is trying to make you jealous. Does he know your triggers? Jealousy is a complex emotion that encompasses feelings ranging from suspicion to rage to fear – and even humiliation. Jealousy is most typically aroused when a person perceives a threat to a valued relationship from a third party. And the threat may be real or imagined. Jealousy is very strongly related to Envy. Jealousy is one of the most POWERFUL of emotions. It comes from fear, a deep fear that connects to: the fear of being alone the fear of being replaced the fear of being rejected… Jealousy is like jet fuel for starting the fires of passion. It may not be healthy, but it sure does get things hot and heavy. One of the most important things to remember is: “If you have a man who is intentionally threatening the security of your relationship with jealousy on a regular basis, you must dump him fast.” – Carlos Cavallo Absolutely, definitely, with haste. You cannot allow a man like this to create that kind of emotional turmoil. Over a long enough period of time, this behavior will undermine your happiness and self-esteem. It will erode your self-worth. And you can even develop possible life-threatening illness. I have known at least two people that have died from emotional and physical complications from this kind of unhealthy relationship. So please believe me when I tell you to be on your guard if you think he’s doing this on purpose and on a regular basis. A healthy relationship must be built on a foundation of consistent, healthy, stable love. The fact is, if you suspect he’s trying to make you jealous, and you do feel jealous, then yes he is trying to make you jealous on purpose. Now let’s get right into the reasons why he is trying to make you jealous… Reason # 1: He’s Testing You What is “testing”? It’s when we push someone’s buttons to see if they’re putting on an act. It’s a tool for the chooser to evaluate the pursuer in romantic courtship. And before we get started here, let’s get one thing out of the way: You test men in your relationships. You know you do. All women do. Because you need to know if a guy is faking his confidence or is he for real! In the words of an anonymous woman: “Women test men when we don’t know who you really are or when your words and actions have been incongruent — when they don’t line up and something seems fishy or ‘off’ about you.” And right you are for testing him! Because you know that no matter what he says to you, his actions always speak the truth. We test people in our relationships because it’s instinctual. It’s not a game, it’s simply the way to get to the very vital truth: “Is he sincere? Or is he unreliable?” This came from a time when we had to know we could rely on the people in our “tribe.” Back in the early days, the caveman days, your survival depended on your mate. Sure, these days you can just get divorced, but back then it was possibly the worst situation imaginable. Alone without protection and a provider? It could even be fatal. The truth is that most men don’t test women on purpose. (If you haven’t seen it, you should definitely read my article on why men test women here…) But sometimes he will test you by trying to stir up your jealousy. He’s doing this because he wants to figure out how he should think about you. Girlfriend? Booty call? Wife material? Cool friend to hang out with…? Ultimately he wants to know how you handle your emotions. Because jealousy is one of the strongest emotions, and one that women fall victim to very easily. And jealousy will bring out your true colors when you experience it! If you’re insecure, you will probably act out when he tests you by making you jealous. This might be as small as the silent treatment or as big as a huge shouting match in the middle of a crowded restaurant. And every woman has had her share of embarrassing outbursts that she wishes she could take back. Hey, guys do too! We just forget about them faster. So what do you do if you think he’s testing you? The first most important thing is to always stay in control. If you let jealousy push you into insecure or needy behavior, you will freak him out and he will probably disappear. If a guy is using jealousy to manipulate you, you should have some question about his maturity. Sometimes we use jealousy in relationships to prove that we still have some hold over our partner. That they still care about us and the connection is still there. That’s essentially what’s going on with jealousy. Don’t get caught up in being emotionally reactive to a man who is using Jealousy on you like this. We’ll come back to this again in a bit. Reason # 2: He’s an immature game-player… I happen to know for a fact that most women think this is what most guys are doing when we act in ways that confuse you. However, the truth is that most guys don’t have the social strategy to pull off that kind of game playing. Men are not as sharp as women when it comes to this kind of social gameplay. Men prefer peace and quiet to drama and emotionality. *(I’m guessing you’ve probably experienced this yourself by now.) I’ve seen other articles and experts who claimed that men get bored and like to stir things up by creating jealous drama. This is completely wrong. Men don’t do this. In fact, teenage boys don’t even do this. If a man is using jealousy for game playing, you’ll know it right off the bat. Your radar will tell you immediately. And you should get rid of this kind of guy immediately. Reason # 3: He wants to know he’s still got IT… Sure, men can fall victim to insecurity. It happens all the time for both genders. He wants to know that he is valuable. He’s a good relationship “catch.” And one way to show this is of course to prove his virility by attracting another woman. Let’s be real here: Men are always going to have the desire to be desired by many women. (This doesn’t mean that he’s going to cheat on you with every one of these women.) Women on the other hand can simply enjoy the desire of one man. Provided that desire is sincere. So sometimes a guy will create some jealousy unintentionally in the process of proving to himself that he’s still got the goods when it comes to attracting women. No one wants to ever believe that they are undesirable to others romantically… The easy way to short-circuit this is simply for YOU to give him the attention he wants from another woman. Do it convincingly and enthusiastically and I guarantee he will shift his attention right back to you. Reason # 4: He’s a narcissist and a player… Some guys are just out to validate their egos and their sense of self. He may not even be aware that he’s making you jealous on some level. He just wants the validation. Guys who are only looking for good fun in the bedroom can also fit into this category. No matter what you may want to think about him, as long as he doesn’t misrepresent himself as wanting a relationship, he can do what he wants. Remember, don’t blame the guy that told you up front that he didn’t want a relationship. Instead, listen to what he says, and watch what he does. Again, this diagnosis of narcissism is not that common. No matter how much you read about it in magazines and on news sites, narcissism is relatively rare. Insecurities, on the other hand, is everywhere you look. Reason # 5: He’s clueless… There are a lot of guys out there who simply don’t recognize the emotional impact of their actions. A guy might talk to a girl for a while and be genuinely enjoying her company. He might not even desire her. “Oops!” But over there in the corner stands his girlfriend. Furious with him for abandoning her and paying all that attention to another woman. From his point of view, he just wanted to talk. He may even have wondered why his girlfriend didn’t come join him in the conversation. He also doesn’t even see it as being “disrespectful.” His cluelessness is simply that. A guy who doesn’t have very good emotional intelligence. You can usually tell if a guy has malicious intentions when it comes to this sort of thing. If he seems genuinely bewildered by your reaction to the whole thing, he probably doesn’t understand. He’s just clueless. In which case all you have to do is explain it to him. Most of the time, guys don’t actually try to make you jealous. It’s simply an act of complete simple-mindedness. Reason # 6: He’s trying to end it… Frequently we don’t want to say the most direct thing. Sometimes we want to break up, but we guys don’t know how to say it. If you’re dating this guy and you’ve been with him a while, and he’s pulling these jealousy tactics on you, he might want out of your relationship. Men very often don’t want to face the music when it comes to breaking up with a woman. If he’s been with you for a while and it would be too weird for him to ghost you or disappear, he may have to come up with another way. Sometimes that’s through starting an argument with you that he can use as an excuse to end the relationship. Even better, it starts out with you being the one who has to come to him with the issue. That makes him look delightfully innocent – in a weird way. Then, through the course of the conversation, while you justify the weirdness that you’re experiencing, he gets to make you the villain. And uses this opportunity to argue and to tell you: “I don’t think we should see each other anymore.” You’ll probably witness him using jealousy to trigger the “end game” when you’re with a very immature guy. And the truth is that many women use this exact same ploy to get out of a relationship as well. Reason # 7: He’s trying to get a reaction from you… The most common situation where a guy tries to make you jealous is when he wants to see if you have feelings for him. A perfect example of this would be a guy who is friends with you, you’ve never dated him, and you start seeing someone else. You may not have realized he was interested in you, because he never said anything. He gets to you… And to be perfectly honest, he’s being kind of a wuss. He should have asked you out at some point before. But he may not have wanted to ruin the friendship. So here you are dating your guy, and now your friend is suddenly seeing a new woman himself. He might start to talk about his relationship with her in graphic detail… You might get the impression that this woman doesn’t even exist – he’s made her up He might flaunt her in front of you to try and get a reaction out of you He might drop hints about same someone – or sleeping with someone He might even ask you to meet her (talk about awkward) He drops too much information on you during a conversation. He’s explicit and uncensored… He asks you for an opinion that suddenly makes you jealous – and makes you ask, Why did you ask me that? He’s very obvious in faking his own happiness What are you supposed to do? Well, this leads us into the next section – which are: Steps For Handling A Guy Who Is Trying To Make You Jealous STEP 1: DON’T REACT! The best thing you can do is not get jealous. In fact, for every single reason I’ve given you here, the best reaction is to not give him a reaction. Why? Stay calm… Because if he gets a reaction, you’re reinforcing his behavior. You may have heard this when it comes to raising your kids – and it’s equally true training your man. And no, I’m not comparing men to children – even if they can act that way sometimes. But the principle holds true. If you give him the reaction he’s hoping for, he’ll keep trying to make you jealous. You’ll also know he’s trying to get a reaction from you when he gets angry because you won’t get jealous. If his scheme isn’t working, he’ll get pissed. And you’ll also notice that he’s paying close attention to your reaction. If it didn’t matter to him, he just go on his way and do his own thing. Remember what I said earlier: Jealousy is the most potent form of love emotion. If you can get someone to feel jealous, you can emotionally manipulate them. or at the very least, get them to react in ways that suit you. STEP 2: KNOW HOW YOU FEEL Whatever the case may be, make sure you understand your feelings for him first. If you don’t like him, and you don’t feel attracted to him, then you shouldn’t feel jealous. You’ll probably just feel a little weird and creeped out by his behavior. On the other hand, if you find yourself suddenly responding to his scarcity, check in with yourself and see if you have the history of chasing men you can’t have. Maybe you actually like this guy. Maybe he was even justified in making you feel jealous to recognize it. Just make sure you know how you feel first! This way you won’t let your feelings (especially the reactive ones) push you into a situation you don’t want. STEP 3: LAY YOUR CARDS OUT The one guaranteed way to keep this situation as uncomfortable as it possibly can be is to not face it. Show him your hand… There comes a point when you must sit down with him and talk to him about what he’s doing. Yes, you may have to confront his behavior and point it out to him. Otherwise you run the risk of him trying these silly little games all the time until he gets an emotional response. Again, if you really do like him, then you should stop him before he makes a mistake with his unsophisticated attempts to get you emotional about him. Simply explain what you’re seeing. Tell him how you feel as gently as you can, whether you are interested in him or not. But you have to tell him how his behavior will work against his goal of winning your heart. There are a bunch of reasons why he’s trying to make you feel jealous. None of them mean that you SHOULD feel jealous. Ultimately, he’s doing this because he still feels an emotional connection to you, and that means there may be a chance to reclaim the lost love. How do you get him back? One way to do it is to know the “bounce back” Passion Phrase. This one phrase can help put you back in his arms again – IF you know it. You can find out about this passion phrase – and many more – by reading this special report… GO HERE TO DISCOVER WHAT TO DO NEXT…
Relationships

6 Mantras to Meet and Marry Your Man
No matter how hard we try and convince ourselves that we really don’t need a man and the hassles of dating and we’re just fine on our own, we have to admit that men and romance have an important place in our lives. (At times we even live vicariously through others.) Having the right man (aka. Your man) can make your life easier and more comfortable and give you amazing opportunities to experience yourself in ways that are not possible when you’re single. So how can you attract your man? Especially when you’ve tried everything you can think of to do! The good news is you usually don’t have to work harder or stress as much as you do now. You just have to learn how to look at relationships in a new way. It starts with how you think. In my coaching programs, I spend as much time teaching how to reframe who we are in relationships in a way that serves us as I do the understanding and information on how we act and communicate differently as men and women. Why? Because it’s through understanding who we are in relationship that makes all the difference in how we relate to another. When we reframe our attitudes and belief systems around relationships, then combine them with the understanding of how we operate as men and women we dramatically increase our chances of having a long-term, successful, intimate relationship! To help you start rethinking and bringing love into your life, here are six mantras you can say to help you meet and marry your man. Mantra #1: “I am responsible for my relationship success.” We alone are responsible for our relationship success (or lack of it.) Know that where you are right now in terms of relationship success is a direct result of your own actions. Blaming other people or circumstances will prevent you from moving forward in love. If you truly believe your circumstances are attributable to the actions of others and that you were powerless and had no control over your situation, you are also powerless to change your life now. The good news is, accepting responsibility for your relationship success gives you complete permission and the power to build the future you’ve always wanted. We are responsible in creating our own lives–life doesn’t just happen to us. You need to believe the same if you want to improve your love life and your romantic relationships. Mantra #2: “I learn about relationships from people who have successful romantic relationships.” Consider who are you taking relationship advice from: single friends and family who struggle with dating and divorce, single dating coaches or successful mentors who have proven they know how to make a marriage last? Successful people take advice from more successful people than they are in most businesses as well as love. They also continually learn and advance their knowledge about relationships, communication and what it takes to have a long-term, intimate, continuous relationship. Take time to learn from those who know and get support. Mantra #3: “I take care of myself first.” Until you learn how to really take care of yourself, the universe will not support you. Learning to love and take care of yourself requires discipline. It means not doing something for someone else unless you feel good about doing it. It means taking care of yourself by working out, eating well, getting rest and staying away from toxic men and toxic situations.If you don’t take care of yourself and feel good, you ain’t good for anyone else. Mantra #4: “I am open, available and receptive.” When you want a romantic relationship, you must be open and available to receive what the universe presents. Are you seeing opportunities, potential dates and romance? Or are you seeing no available men, no dates and only geeks? Love comes from unexpected places. Often we’re quick to judge the external package before getting to know the person inside. Do your best to stay open, available and receptive to those who present on your path. Mantra #5: “I love to receive – especially from men.” If you have trouble receiving what a man has to offer, you probably have trouble receiving love in relationships. It’s amazing how we think we’re receiving when we really aren’t. It can be as simple as when a man says, “what a beautiful dress” and we respond, “Oh this? I got it on sale.” Without receiving the man’s compliment, we slam what he has to offer and deny his joy of giving. This is something we need to work on constantly. Next time a man gives you a compliment, an invitation or a phone call, simply smile and say, “Thank you. I appreciate that.” Mantra #6: “I enjoy giving back in appreciation.” Just recently I was speaking with a friend over lunch. She was telling me about a new man she’s been seeing and how nice it is that he has taken her out several times. When I asked her how she was giving back in appreciation, she looked at me and said, “I thought it was the man’s responsibility to take me out.” It is initially, however when a man takes you out two or three times, give him something back in appreciation. Cook him a meal. Send him a card. Invite him to a concert or dinner party. Men like to feel appreciated for their generosity. It’s important for you to acknowledge and reward him when he does something nice for you.

The Dos And Donts Of The E-Lationship
Doing the long-distance thing used to be mad difficult. Even as recently as the mid-20th century, women used to have to get pregnant just to have something to remind them of husbands who had gone off to fight the good fight overseas, while the menfolk were left with naught but faded photos and moonshine-soaked memories to remind them of the female companionship they so desperately craved. These days, trans-zip code lovin’ isn’t necessarily easy, but information superhighways (and real superhighways, for that matter) have made things – in theory – considerably less frustrating. There are, however, some rules of the road that you should review before embarking on this overwhelming and confusing journey. Don’t: Assume phone calls are the only way to communicate. All too often, a well-meaning gent misses vital communication opportunities because he assumes that his lady only wants to hear from him when he has time for a two-hour phone call. This is a falsehood. No one has time for two-hour phone calls these days; with BBMing and pinging and txting and carrier pigeons, talking on the phone is for chumps, son. And doesn’t it seem to defeat the purpose of ‘staying in touch’ to ignore someone for weeks simply because you don’t have time for a marathon chatfest (Hint: It does)? In fact, it reminds me of an old chestnut I tend to call upon in these types of situations: “it’s like cutting off your nose to spite your face.” You might think it doesn’t make sense, but trust me. It does. The rate of success in long-distance relationships is directly proportional to the level of communication achieved, so if you’re going to rely solely on your land line to sustain your relationship, then you might as well just send a breakup letter by pony express and start looking for a new girlfriend in the personal ads of your local newspaper. Don’t forsake the 1,000 ways to get in touch afforded by modern technology in favor of such an outdated method of communication as bi-weekly phone call. Your paramour doesn’t want to steal your free time, she just wants to hear that (1) you’re alive and (2) she’s on your mind, so in between your lengthier communiqués, shoot her a one-line email whenever you’re thinking about her, text her funny things that happen to you, or, if you must, call her when you know she won’t pick up and leave silly messages. As with most things, it’s a lot easier than you think. Do: Figure out what her communication preferences are. Some people don’t even know what Gchat is. (I know, right? It’s ludicrous.) To this end, do not assume that the object of your affection is capable of or interested in engaging in the same types of insta-communication as you are until you’ve actually discussed it. Even if her screen name shows up on your chat list (some people don’t realize they’ve been signed in to AIM since 1997), even if she sometimes responds to your text messages (some people don’t realize they’re being charged $2.75 for every outgoing text they send), and even if she writes on your wall four times in a row (some people only remember the existence of social networking when eavesdropping on their coworkers’ conversations), there is no guarantee that her messaging habits are anywhere in line with your preferences. Case in point: if you wrongfully assume that she’s a BBM-aholic, then you run the risk of being disappointed when she reads your message and doesn’t respond right away. If, however, you start by casually asking her what she thinks of BBMing, then you might discover that she doesn’t know how to respond without deleting the original message. You then win, because you’ve sussed out some useful information about her, AND you get to teach her something, thereby demonstrating how smart, capable and awesome (read: fuckable) you are. Don’t: Overdo it with the emoticons. I pity the fool who punctuates every single sentiment he ever has with a “ ” or a “ ” (especially the latter, as all I can think about when I see it is how doofy the guy on the other end must look, which is not what I’d imagine he wants me thinking while he’s trying to put the moves on me from 3,000 miles away). Or “ :$ ”. Really, who came up with that? What is its purpose on this earth? Emoticons are the internet equivalent of laughing nervously and fiddling with whatever’s in your pockets to avoid looking directly at your date. It makes you look uncomfortable, which in turn makes you undesirable. Lame city, boys. Now, I will admit that I enjoy a well-placed emoticon, especially when employed in an ironic-yet-sincere fashion, and we all respect the fact that sometimes you just need that happy little smiley to get your point across. Just cut yourself off after, let’s say, three, lest you become that emoti-crazy guy we make fun of to our friends over cosmos.

How To Set Personal Boundaries & Guide Other People To Respect Them
Knowing how to set your own personal boundaries is of extreme importance if you want to maintain healthy and decent relationships with people and your own self. Without setting your personal boundaries, people will most likely never take them into the consideration and you will often feel like life is unfair towards you. People who have no personal boundaries are often people who spend a lot of time looking for relationship advice, mental health tips, and so on, while all they really need in life is to set their own personal boundaries. So what does setting personal boundaries mean and why do people keep on telling you to be true to yourself? If you are curious and you wish to know more about it all, continue reading as we will go over all you might want to know. Understanding What Personal Boundaries Really Are If you do not have personal boundaries set, you most likely know what we mean when we say people might be manipulating you very easily. People who do not set their personal boundaries straight are often emotionally unstable, they are easily manipulated and they are usually the ones who feel used at the end of it all. A person who has reasonable personal boundaries will always know how to separate their feelings and thoughts from the crowds, they know they are unique and they easily acknowledge the same in others. Simplified, personal boundaries are our emotional, physical, and mental limits we set on our own, these keep us safe from manipulators and prevent us from getting violated by others and their bad and/or unreasonable intentions. Setting Your Own Personal Boundaries Before anything, you need to understand that every human being has the right to set their own personal boundaries, no matter what others may think about them. Perhaps, your personal boundaries do not go in hand with certain people, but they are your boundaries and you should never change them so that someone would like you more or accept you as a person. When setting your personal boundaries keep in mind that it is your responsibility to use your boundaries as a filter that helps you notice acceptable and unacceptable things that come your way by other individuals around you. While setting personal boundaries might seem like a complicated thing, it is overall quite simple. All you really need to do when setting personal boundaries is take into consideration who you really are as a person, understand that these boundaries are meant to protect you, and define you to other people who might have no idea how to respect your worth as a human being. When we are fortunate enough to have healthy personal boundaries, these are usually the life improvements we get to see first: Improved self-confidence and self-worthinessImproved life stabilityImproved communication with other peopleHealthier habits and thoughtsBetter relationships and emotional strength Learning How To Care About Your Own Self Personal boundaries are great and all, but did you know that their root is all about self-care? If you do not understand how important it is to love yourself, there is a high chance you have not set your personal boundaries at all. Every individual in this world deserves and must spend some time on their own. It does not matter whether you have an amazing relationship or friends who continuously require you to spend time with them, you must ensure you always leave some of the free time for your own self. This can be anything that really makes you happy, be it watching your favorite TV show, playing your favorite games, or simply taking a bubble bath you have been craving for months now but never had enough time to do so. It is important to understand your wishes are just as important as the wishes of your partner or your best friend. Knowing your own worth and respecting your own self is the first great step towards building beautiful personal boundaries that will improve your life for good! Never Doubt Your Personal Boundaries Another important thing you should take into consideration is the fact that no matter what your personal boundaries are, there will be times you will feel like they might be a little bit over the top. This, however, is not how you should be feeling. Knowing personal boundaries are so very important to you as an individual, you should make sure to never feel bad about them. Some people will go out of their way and make you feel bad about something that is truly important to you but not so important to them. In such situations, never let them manipulate you to the point you set your personal boundaries aside. People who love you and respect you as a person will never try to make you feel bad about things that make you feel happy, and they will never try to make you forget about things that are important to you just for their own sake. Be Open About Personal Boundaries And Follow Them Being open and communicating your personal boundaries might seem kind of silly at first, but it is actually very important if you want to make people respect them. This does not mean you need to write a list of things you find acceptable in life and talk about them with everyone around you, but take time to give people a chance to understand what is really important to you as a person. Signup for Our Newsletter Share This Article

Get More R-E-S-P-E-C-T in Your Relationships and Life
Gloria feels like a doormat. It seems to her that she gets “walked on” by just about everyone in her life– her kids, her husband, her boss, her co-workers, even the people she rides the bus to and from work with each day. She gets shoved to back of the bus, interrupted and talked over by friends and taken for granted by her family. She frequently hears either her husband or one of her kids say something like, “Mom will do that. She doesn’t mind.” In fact, she usually does mind– but she does whatever it is that was expected of her anyway. More than anything else, Gloria longs to feel respected, truly respected. If, like Gloria, you are done feeling like a doormat who is taken for granted at every turn and by every one in your life, you may also be longing to feel respected. As Aretha Franklin sang in the 1960s R&B; song, “All I’m askin’ is for a little respect….” This may be your unofficial anthem as well. If so,try these 5 tips for getting more R-E-S-P-E-C-T. 1: Honor and respect yourself first. It is nearly impossible for you to feel respect, if you don’t have respect for yourself. Feeling respected is closely linked with your self esteem. If you have low self esteem, it’s likely that you also don’t feel respected. The two go hand in hand. Too often, people feel unloved, worthless and powerless and they rely on other people, positions or even things to convince them that they are (maybe) respectable. The trouble with this is that it is always temporary and changeable. You might feel a boost of both self esteem and being respected when another person compliments you or if you are given kudos at work for a project well done. It is wonderful to revel in moments like these. It is not so wonderful if you base your sense of self worth and honor mainly upon events like this and what you think others think. As you probably already know, it is far too easy to misinterpret what another person thinks. The positions and things in your life are also subject to change or somehow appear less (or more) valuable over time. You are your own biggest potential supporter. You are the one who can best strengthen and nurture your sense of self worth and self respect. Knowing this is a helpful starting point. You can begin to build self respect for yourself when you honor yourself, for example, by listening to what you are willing and unwilling to do instead of merely saying “yes” or “no” to win someone else’s approval. 2: Discover your own blocks to being respected. If you don’t feel respected– either by your own self or by others– it’s probable that you hold beliefs and have developed habits that are blocking the way to respect. Gloria realizes that, in her mind, she has tied her sense of self worth to being indispensable to both her family and her co-workers and boss. She prides herself on knowing exactly how the kids like their food prepared, how her husband prefers his pants to be ironed, how her boss wants his coffee, etc. On one level, Gloria believed that being the “expert” in these ways to different people in her life will make them respect her. Unfortunately, this isn’t what happens. Instead, Gloria’s husband and kids refuse to cook (or iron clothes), her boss expects his coffee delivered at 9am sharp each morning and rarely do any of them offer her thanks, let alone expressions of respect. Having recognized this, now Gloria has challenged herself to find things she can respect about herself that are not connected with what she does for other people. There’s nothing wrong with being good at what you do– whether it’s ironing, cooking, making coffee, building bridges or leading large groups of people. However, if you base your self esteem on these roles, you are not building a strong foundation for respect. 3: Explore new ways to open up to respect. Let’s face it. When asked to find something about ourselves that deserves respect, most of us will look to what we do and our status or position– the exact things I’m recommending that you NOT base your sense of self worth upon. This is a new way of thinking about respect and cultivating it within yourself and from others. It will probably take some practice. Take out a piece of paper and write at the top, “I deserve respect because…” If it helps you get started with this shift in thinking, go ahead and allow yourself to write down the things you do or the positions that you hold. But, next to this, write down the qualities that are unique to you that make this an honorable and respectable action. You might write down, for instance, that feeding, caring for and keeping the house tidy for your children and spouse requires quite a bit of organizational skill, patience, perseverance and more. There’s so much about YOU that is worthy of respect. 4: Give what you’d like to get. When it comes down to it, you really can’t make someone else respect you. Quite often, others will respond to the energy or sense of self that you give off. This means that if you believe that you are nothing of value, you will be treated as such. This is why it is so important to learn to respect yourself for who you are– which is underneath all of what you do and the people you are related to. This is absolutely essential. You can also increase your chances of being respected by others when you treat them the way that you want to be treated. This wisdom is repeated in many religious and spiritual teachings and it’s certainly true when it comes to respect. If you want to be honored and respected, give honor and respect to others. This might mean that you respect your kids enough to show them how to make their own snacks and allow them to do it. This may mean that you honor your boss enough to be honest with him or her about how you would really like to be contributing to the business. 5: Expect respect. As you give respect, it is also crucial that you expect respect. Many times, our expectations that someone else will fail us or that we will continue to be treated as a doormat are exactly what we get. Some call it the Law of Attraction, others call it a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you want to be respected, believe that you deserve respect, cultivate it for your own self and then expect that you will receive it. A lot of this happens on the inside. As you improve your self esteem and you begin to see that you are worthy of being treated the way that you really want to be treated, it will show. You may need to communicate to others that you’d like to be spoken to or treated in a particular way– be specific with your requests. For the most part, however, your change in expectations and your bolstered self esteem will pave the way. Know that there is more than enough respect to go around. We can ALL– including you– feel honorable and valuable and worthy.

What Does This Gift Say About His Feelings For Me?
Here is a recent question from a reader: “I’ve been dating a man for a couple of months. He’s very nice and we enjoy each other’s company. Things seemed to be going well. He always seems to have money and enjoys spending it, paying for our dates, etc. He buys clothes for himself often and likes to show off his purchases. In fact, he’s a bit vain with his appearance. For my birthday he gave me a silver necklace that I know probably didn’t cost $20.00. I’m not greedy, nor a gold digger but it seems odd compared to the spending he does on himself. Am I expecting too much to think that his gift should have been at least a little nicer? I had hinted months ago about a concert I wanted to see but he made an excuse that he didn’t get tickets in time and there were no good seats left. I don’t want to seem ungrateful but I admit I was disappointed.” This certainly seems like a contradiction in his character so what does it mean regarding his feelings for her? Should she have received something a little nicer? Everything a man does while you are getting to know him gives you invaluable information about who he is, what’s important to him, and what you can expect more of in the future. Some general thoughts about gifts: When a man is trying to woo a woman, feels romantically toward her or is in love he will typically give her romantic ‘heart type’ gifts. Flowers, candy, jewelry, romantic cards or love letters, dinners are all “heart” gifts. Practical gifts like appliances, books, pen sets are not from the heart, but from the head and can be a sign of passionless intentions or that a relationship is fizzling out. An exception is if the practical gift is something you really wanted/needed and he mixes it with other romantic gifts…then well, enjoy the toaster oven, he is still hot for you. Another exception is that while some men are not gift givers, nor romantic they may still be very devoted, loyal husbands. I have a friend who married an engineer; he takes practicality and logic to a new level. He’s never bought her flowers and if she’s lucky enough to get a gift, it’s non-romantic. Think gift card. But he is a good father, kind, steadfast and honorable. Her car is always filled with gas; she never lifts anything heavy, he kills all the bugs in the house and generously occupies the kids so she can cook dinner undeterred. She doesn’t dwell on what she’s missing. If she wants something, she goes and buys it herself. But that is her. There is nothing wrong with wanting your birthday and holidays celebrated in romantic ways. If to you that means dinners, flowers, gifts, and cards, so be it. Just like there is nothing wrong with a man who wants a buxom, blond bombshell. Trouble begins when a woman picks a non-romantic man, marries him then cries every year at her birthday when he lets her down or the man who marries a flat chested brunette and nags her to bleach her hair and get a boob job. Your job is to simply pay attention and decide if THIS man as he is will make you happy. Okay, so what’s Cheap Necklace Man’s story? Based on the above generalizations, that he gave a piece of jewelry is a good sign, but the fact that it was obviously very inexpensive compared to what he normally spends is something to consider. This is a sensitive issue. I want to stress that while it appears that money the issue, it really is not. It’s attitudes toward money, generousness and intentions that are important things to know about a man before you marry him. The only reason money becomes a part of this equation is because of the obvious disparity in his usual spending habits. Without knowing more about the man and relationship, I advised her to ask these questions: Is it possible his feelings have changed? Has the relationship cooled? Is his gift mediocre because it matches his feelings toward you? Pay attention to how he behaves in other areas of the relationship. While he has money and enjoys spending it, it’s possible he only really enjoys spending it on himself. Hey, it’s his money and he can do with it what he pleases, but if you are considering him as marriage material you can probably expect more of the same. Will you be happy if he splurges on himself but is stingy when it comes to your birthday, Christmas or Valentine’s Day? Will he be the type of man who monitors what you spend and only wants you to make purchases on things he deems worthwhile? Does he use his money to control? I once dated a man who was wealthy and paid for everything but who liked to joke that he “paid the cost to be boss”. In other words, it’s never what YOU want, it’s always what HE wants. You mentioned he is vain and buys a lot of clothes and enjoys showing them off to you. These can be signs of insecurity. If he is he may be so busy focusing on himself and his insecure feelings he may not be tuned in enough to you to make your special day a priority. This may have something to do with the fact that his poor planning prevented him from getting you what he knew you really wanted. Is he wonderful in every other way? If he remains a lousy gift giver but has many other important qualities you want in a man, it may be okay with you to smile sweetly and proclaim “I love it!” then secretly sneak off to exchange or return his presents. You are the only one who can evaluate what is happening in the relationship and how happy all of his qualities and quirks will make you. There is nothing shallow or greedy about your concern. It really is not about the amount of money he spent but about what his obvious lack of effort has meant to you. Good Luck
Dating

These 5 Texts Will Win Her Over Instantly
So, you met a girl you really liked last night and got her number. Now what? Your fate with this chick lies in the first communication you make, which, let’s be honest, will probably be a text. Nothing wrong with that, but you’d better make sure that text is good—we ladies tend to analyze. And then overanalyze. And then invite our friends to analyze. Once you get past the basics (Remember her name, and use it; Don’t wait a month to reach out; Don’t be a major douche), there are plenty of directions you can take with The Text. Here are five types of approaches likely to get you an enthusiastic response—and possibly much more. Win her heart, or at least a response, by showing off your humor. Bonus points if you incorporate something about your previous conversation. 1. The Follow-Up Chances are, when you met this girl, she told you something about herself. It could’ve been her favorite band, a trip she’s planning, or an event she was going to later that week. Rack your brain, and use one of those tidbits to follow up—ask her how the event was, if she’s heard that band’s new single… anything to prove you were listening. Not only will she be impressed that you remembered what she told you—and that you care enough to ask her more about it—but she’ll also be more motivated to respond, given its to a question that holds interest for her.Example: “Hey there, how’d your 15-mile run go? I’m still so impressed you’re training for the marathon (said as I eat my hangover-egg-sandwich).” 2. The Dive-In Not one for chitchat—or maybe just that sure she really liked you? Well then, nothing wrong with just going for it and asking her out. The absence of awkward small talk or head-spinning games will certainly be a refreshing and welcome change on her end. Plus, you’ll come off as cool and confident, which never hurts.Example: “Hey, I had a great time chatting with you the other night—shall we continue the conversation over dinner Friday?” 3. The Warm-Up If you’re sweating just thinking about the aforementioned dive-in, take a more gradual approach. The key is to engage her and show her genuine interest by asking questions, continuing the conversation, and then—it’s gotta happen sometime—asking her out. She may feel a flutter of excitement when you text her wondering how her week is going, but that excitement will quickly turn into frustration and disdain if you never take the next step. If she’s responding to your initial texts and participating in the conversation (one-word answers do not qualify), then she’s probably interested. You’ve got the green light. Now go.Example: “Hey there, how’s your week going? Are you going as excited to stop dressing like a polar explorer as I am?” 4. The Funny Few girls can resist a guy who makes her laugh. (And if they can, stay away—there’s something wrong with them.) Win her heart—or at least a response—by showing off your humor. While a generic joke (if it’s a good one, of course) will do, bonus points if you incorporate something about her or your previous conversation.Example: “So, I was thinking about what you said about French bulldogs being irresistibly cute… does this count?” [Insert selfie with bulldog ears and nose drawn on, Snapchat style] 5. The Offer She Can’t Refuse If you really like this girl and just know you have to see her again, pull out the big guns—just prepare to drop some cash. Get tickets to a concert for the favorite band she mentioned, a reservation at that trendy new restaurant everyone’s dying to get into, or perhaps a sports event (only if the team is good, please). Get creative, and choose something awesome that’ll make her feel VIP. If you want to be really bold, tell her you got the tickets in hopes she’d join you, but if you want to play it a bit safer, pretend you just happen to have them. Note: If she passes on a kickass offer, she’s probably not worth your time anyway, and you can find someone cooler to take in her place.Example: “Hey, I have tickets to next week’s Foo Fighters show and my buddy just bailed—any chance you’d like to join? I promise not to sing along too loudly.”

Is Tinder Killing the Dating Game?
I sat, laptop open, PowerPoint presentation blinking, beer sparkling, Sunday evening, 10:00pm. I always hated that guy: The guy who just has to bring everyone down with the sight of work. But I had to finish this thing, and as lovely as the rooms at the London Edition are, its lobby bar is even nicer. Besides, I figured Londoners would be cool with a lonely American doing his thing in a WiFi-enabled lobby on a Sunday evening, 10:00pm. “Oh, no, mate,” the dude to my left slurred. “No worky worky here!” He went as far as to tap at my keyboard. No one taps at my keyboard. “I just gotta finish this one thing…” “But look at the lovely girl next to you!” She was indeed lovely. But I was married and I had work to do. “She is indeed lovely, but I am married and I have work to do.” She smiled. She liked being called lovely, I suppose. “So what are you working on?” she asked. Turned out she was waiting for a Tinder date (“Tinder Mike”, she called him). Tinder is a relatively new thing in London, and she explained that it’s changing the way people date there. “Before Tinder, you didn’t date more than one person at a time. It was frowned upon. But now, it’s all so short-lived. Meet up with someone, determine if you like him within the first hour, and either move on or go to the next level. And even if you do go to the next level, you probably have someone else on the backburner from another swipe.” Holy shit, I realized: Tinder is changing the way people outside America think about dating. Could it be that our new addiction to brute-force dating is undermining thousands—maybe millions—of possible loves at second—or third—sight? I argued that this is a good thing — that being honest and not leading anyone on makes dating a lot more efficient and saves daters tons of wasted time. There’s nothing worse than going on a full date (full meaning dinner, drinks, conversation, maybe a kiss at the end), thinking that person likes you, and then finding out that was all an act, that she was just being nice. But isn’t simply knowing that she’s not into it sooner than later a lower cliff from which to fall? Isn’t it better to know sooner than later before you develop feelings? Online dating, especially via apps like Tinder, accelerate the process: They ask us to quickly choose who we’d date, send a message, and decide within a few exchanges if we’d like to go out. It’s a statistics game. Everyone using Tinder has multiple conversations active. They don’t close other chats if they’ve found someone of interest, even if they go out. They even go out thinking about their next date, even reminiscing and comparing to the date from the night before. It’s fishing. It’s job interviews. It’s batting averages (proessional baseball players are considered Hall-of-Fame caliber if they can hit 3 out of 10 balls for hits!). We’re just looking for the best candidate for a very demanding job. This is a good thing, right? We’re all increasing the possibility that we’ll find the one. Right? And it’s something Londoners are just now getting used to. My new friend explained that, for the first time, it’s okay for women in London to go on multiple dates within a week. It used to be that you’d be labeled as a man player or whatever it is they call women who date a lot. People are excited about this new, statistically favorable method, and they’re doing it a lot. But she asked me something that made me wonder if we’re heading down a destructive path: “Haven’t you ever changed your mind even after that first date wasn’t so great? Didn’t you ever realize that you really did like that person?” I have. Multiple times. In fact, some of my best relationships started with a bad date. Could it be that our new addiction to brute-force dating is undermining thousands—maybe millions—of possible loves at second—or third—sight? Sure, there’s that one-in-a-thousand instant chemistry date written in Hollywood, but there’s also that “Wow, I think I actually like her” realization written in New York, and that, too, can be a beautiful thing. There’s this episode of Louie (Season 4 I believe) that begins with him approaching a woman who works at a comedy club, obviously pining for a date in that creepy-awkward way only Louie can display. Before he can ask her out, she half turns to him, avoiding eye contact, and implores him to “just not ask”. He’s confused as she disappears, and another worker turns to him and just says, “Louie, you can’t ask everyone.” He doesn’t get it, but it seems this girl in the lobby of the London Edition does. Sometimes you can’t – shan’t – ask every woman out. Sometimes you need time to determine if that one you realized within an hour wasn’t the one just could be… the one. Oh, and good luck, Tinder Mike. She really is lovely.

Advice from an Experienced Professional on the Nuances of Online Dating
We just hit a Pandemic and are currently going through a time where historical events are happening, left, right, and center. We hit a snag in our daily lives and have been part of a home quarantine throughout 2020. This has been the cause of a lot of breakups and even the birth of children. But what happened to those who were single? Well, they all turned to online dating. I am one of those people. Let’s be on the same page here from the beginning – why do we turn into online dating in the first place? Getting love or getting laid? No matter what the answer is (or what you think it is), this pandemic and time away from going out and hanging with friends have given all of us a new dimension. So, today, five years, unlimited number of people to talk to, and a pandemic later, I find myself qualified enough to share my version of the perks and perils of online dating. Find this relatable? Let’s dive straight in! Online Dating They say, ‘curiosity killed the cat,’ well, in online dating lingo, where cats are a facade used to mean something different than intended, this quote comes to life. Online dating is practically the best place to meet new people without having the pressure of being someone other than yourself, finding your match by swiping left or right without letting the person know you have rejected them, and beginning a beautiful relationship from there onward. In this pandemic, inquisitive souls like me who spend their days working from home have found new friends from online dating applications that might, or might not, turn into something serious later. But, now that the restrictions are slowly lifting off and we have the option of going out and meeting the person we have been talking to for the past few months, we suddenly become nervous. Don’t worry, though! I’m here to save you from the discomfort. Creating a Balanced Profile All these months, you had the liberty to say no to meet-up requests given the situation we were in, but now the scene has changed. So, if you are looking for the perfect ‘partner’ through online dating, someone you would love to meet, you need to first focus on your profile: – The Gallery: Always tend to choose the pictures that flaunt the best sides of your personality – be it with the poses, the activities you are doing, or the places you are at. Ensure you are comfortable with the places featuring in your profile picture carousel so that you have a topic of the conversation right from the beginning. Take this from a pro online dater – don’t add pictures with your friends, pose with vehicles that aren’t yours, or post pictures of clothes you wouldn’t normally wear even though they look sexy. You wouldn’t want the other person being confused about who you are right from the get-go. – The Copy: Next, write an intriguing bio. Everyone judges everyone on these online dating applications and, being as honest as you can always help. Write a few lines about who you are, what you are all about, what you like doing, where you stay, and what you are looking for. My profile, for example, speaks about my profession and my perception of life. This has led to several people coming up with a witty first line about their own take on the writing. Some of the best profiles include those who use ‘|’ in between single adjectives that define them. Try to opt-out of writing ‘not here for hookups’ because that is an immediate turn-off and would make most people swipe left. The aim is to create a profile for yourself that you would swipe right on. You get the drill, don’t you? Conversations Dictating the Flow Profile Picture – CHECKPerfect Bio – CHECK ‘It’s a match!” Your phone lights up with a ‘ting’ as you open the notification bar to see the above-mentioned text written in bold. Trust me, at times I feel like these online dating applications are more excited at us getting a match than we actually are. But imagine for a second that you have matched with someone who you liked, to begin with. NEVER EVER wait for the other person to text first. This goes to all you men and women out there. If you like someone, strike up a conversation with them and see how it goes. At this point, I would like to mention, please don’t use short forms. Please don’t. No one understands what you’re talking about, and most of the time, especially after the fact that we all are living through history right now, people don’t have the energy to speak with someone who can’t frame a full sentence. Been there, felt that. While most of the time, “hey, what’s up?” remains the first text anyone sends, there’s no harm in mixing things up a bit. Online dating is a platform where you get to meet ‘your match,’ and showing your witty and mysterious self right off the bat would make them more intrigued about you and be the start of an interesting conversation. As you start interacting with a potential connection for the longer run, you must be respectful towards the other person. If you have to leave the conversation midway, have the courtesy to say you’ll catch up with the other person later because you have to be somewhere else. Once you send that text, wait for an acknowledgment from the other side before running away. The key to online dating is ensuring that the other person is heard. If you feel like you’ve had a fruitful conversation and are comfortable taking things to the next level – personally, you can shift to other text platforms. Things just become all the more comfortable when you take it slowly – one at a time. Girls, there is no harm in asking for the guy’s number if you liked talking to them. I know I did. Guys, be polite and take your time before asking for their number. Know that both of you are talking to around five other people simultaneously, and you need to be honest and put your best foot forward if you want to strongly make a connection with at least one of them. The First Date When you’ve reached this stage, you’ve already come a long way – I know you have. So now it’s time to take things further with a date. The physical meeting after the whole time is special, and you need to make that mark. Now, I understand that after this pandemic, it would take any occasion you get to either dress up with the best piece of clothing you own or act as if it doesn’t matter. Trust me, it matters. So, get up and take a good look at your wardrobe. While you wear something that fits you well and you are comfortable with wearing it for a long time, choose something that attracts the attention of people. Girls, sexy lingerie is a must if you are taking your date home once things go well. Once again, you both know each other enough to go on a date, and there is no need to pretend. Pick a place close to both of your homes that cater to both of your likings; cuisine and ambiance wise. You can also get the other person a token they can take back home – flowers are the most obvious choice. Also, NEVER BE LATE. If things are supposed to be continued at home, keep your place stocked with all the things you need for an intimate night. Walk into the bathroom and come back wearing sexy lingerie, keep sex toys near your bedside if you both want to try something kinky, or pop in some enhancement pills to give yourself that boost of confidence.End the night with a kiss and some cuddles. Stay, if you can, but ask if the other person wants you around. Complement each other on how great your night was and the next morning; don’t forget to wish each other. If things go well, a second date might be just around the corner! Online or not, a date involves two people and how they feel about each other and their presence in their lives. In such a case, every small detail matters, and to show you care is one of the top-most ways of showing them that they are appreciated. So, bring up your A-game and have fun as you sink your foot into the pool of dating this New Year. Don’t forget to let me know how your date went! Signup for Our Newsletter Share This Article

The Poor Man’s Guide to Attraction
I stumbled across an old article on Psychology Today that explains how money is one of the sexiest things a man can possess: Money. The article states that money provides men with power, rewards, and freedom. The author reasons that money provides power because it signals that a man will be a good provider, leads to improved confidence, and also gives him a healthy dose of prestige. He also believes that money brings freedom, which leads to better sex lives because people rich people afford to “travel to exotic places and because they [have] more free time”. Finally, he believes that money can buy “sexy toys” and “rewards” for her; like exotic sports cars, fancy dinners and beautiful jewelry. However, at Loveawake, we believe that while money can’t hurt, you simply don’t need to be rich to have the same sex appeal that rich men have. While rich men may naturally think and act more confidently, you can do the same if you focus on being genuine, being refreshing, and determining your own value as a person. Women want confidence, excitement, and a man who carries himself like he is valued. That is what is sexy. Guys often think if they have a lot of money, they’ll have a higher value, and be able to get more girls because of their value. The truth is that value should not be based on external factors. If you base your worth on the opinions of strangers, you’ll be dependent on others to find any happiness in life. To be a person of truly high value, you have to believe you have high value – If you carry yourself as if you are high value, you’ll come off as having high value to those around you. You’ll have social power just as someone with far more monetary value would. Always remember that fun is the most important currency in social interactions. Rich guys can buy fun; they can give rides in expensive cars, take girls to fancy restaurants or on shopping excursions. However, just because you don’t have money doesn’t mean you can’t be associated with fun. Be refreshing. Be animated. Be fun. Smiling is contagious. If a girl associates you with fun, she’ll want to spend time with you to experience those feelings more often. If she associates you with the same old pick-up lines, sleazy maneuvers, and dull encounters she normally has, you’ll get nowhere with her. Girls want refreshing. If you carry yourself differently, you’ll stand out from the crowd the same way someone with money would when not having to worry about the price tag. You don’t need to spend money to be fun, you simply need to be fun: giving the girl the freedom to be relaxed and enjoy herself. If you can’t buy these things, how can you be as rewarding as the rich guy can be? Women consider reward to be anything fulfilling. Shallow women may find fulfillment in things – the jewelry, clothes, and trips – but women of high value, the ones you want to be looking for, find fulfillment in relationships. Reward a woman by being genuine. A woman can read right through some fake story or fancy outfit meant to make the man appear of higher value. If you act like who you really are, you’ll be so much sexier than a fake facade ever could be, and worth more to her than a fancy ring. Money can buy many things (including a sense of safety), but genuine confidence will supply you with more in the long run. So remember, even if you can’t afford a pot to piss in: Be fresh and genuine. Be fun. Be confident. It’ll make you sexy. We guarantee it!

Best Places To Meet Girls In New York City & Dating Guide
Last updated on January 29th, 2021 If you are looking for the best places to meet girls in New York City and a dating guide for this massive metropolis then you are in the right spot. The Bronx, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queens, and Staten Island will all be covered here. The good news is that there is you will never be lacking for things to do. You can go out at any time on any day and always find a good place to try and pick up single women or a fine date spot. The bad news is that you might have to wait a really long time to get in and spend a whole lot of money on your night out. But that is what this city is all about and if that bothered you then you probably wouldn’t be here. When it comes to trying to meet single girls in New York City most of the best nightclubs in town are found in Manhattan. This is the prime real estate where some of the sexiest women in the world go out to see and be seen. If you have the money to get into the club and the game to pull one of the models then you will be in for the night of your life. But most guys can’t afford that scene too often, and hooking up with a model isn’t the easiest thing to do either. Luckily there are plenty of cheaper singles bars around town that are still packed with sexy ladies that are much more attainable. After we cover the great singles nightlife this city has to offer we will then mention some good day game spots, those aren’t hard to find either but it can be a bit tricky which we will get into later. Table of Contents Obviously since it is the 21st Century online dating is going to deserve a mention. If you aren’t using the internet to help you meet girls and get laid then you aren’t maximizing your chances and are ignoring one of the best resources a guy could ever find. Once we finish talking about where to pick up women we will move on to the dating guide section. Whether you are looking for a romantic bar, restaurant, a cheap date idea, dates in the day, or some form of entertainment for the two of you to do we have plenty of suggestions coming up. Before we get going here is a map of the subway, make yourself familiar with it if you are new in town. Nightclubs & Pick Up Bars The first thing we want to point out is that in a city like this one the hottest nightclubs or best pick up spots can change quickly. One may be ‘trendy’ one month and closed the next. We will do our best to keep up with the current nightlife scene, add new spots, and delete the closed ones but here that can be difficult. We will go through the districts in alphabetical order, lets start with the Bronx. Pick Up Girls In The Bronx If you are looking to go out and pick up girls in the Bronx there are plenty of singles bars you can visit. Some of our favorites would be: Is Brooklyn Still Cool? It wasn’t long ago that Brooklyn was the new cool place to be in this city. Lots of young entrepreneurs were moving in, there was a vibrant singles nightlife scene, and many would tell you it was the best place for a guy to get laid in this city. Of course in this day and age many people hate everything, and now Brooklyn is considered too hipster and not near as cool as it once was. Is this really true? Who knows, but we still think it is a great spot to try and pick up single girls, there are plenty of awesome bars here like: Just stroll around Williamsburg any day or night and you should see plenty of cute girls that you can try to hook up with. Best Nightclubs In Manhattan We aren’t going to say it is cheap to go out and try to pick up girls in New York City at bars in any bureau, but if you are on a budget stay out of Manhattan. This is one of the most expensive places in the world, your wallet will probably be empty by the time you finish the night. With that said you can find the best nightclubs in NYC here and plenty of good bars as well so getting a hotel here would be best if you can afford it. For good bar districts head to the areas around St Marks Place between First Ave and Ave A, and Ninth Street between Third and Second in the East Village. Some specific singles bars in Manhattan and around the East Village we really like are: Some good bars in the Upper East Side are: If you prefer to try to pick up girls at New York City’s hottest nightclubs then visit: [embedded content] If you plan to do a lot of clubbing try to make friends with a promoter (or give them some big tips) to see if they can make your life a little cheaper and easier in the future. Either way it is probably best to go out early as you can avoid the longer lines and sometimes get in for cheaper. Trying To Hook Up In Queens It is pretty much impossible for anywhere to follow up the great singles nightlife in Manhattan, but if you want to try to hook up with hot girls in Queens visit these bars: Pick Up Spots In Staten Island Lastly we will cover Staten Island. The great thing about trying to meet girls in New York is that no matter what area of the city you are in there are always going to be lots of singles around you, Staten Island is no exception: While not in this city there are more opportunities to try and pick up women in Newark as well. Day Game May Not Be Easy [embedded content] Trying to meet women in New York City during the day can be easy in some ways but also difficult in others. Lets start with the positives, there are chances to meet single girls near you everywhere you turn. Exit your hotel or apartment, walk in any direction, there are day game possibilities galore. But on the negative side when you have so many people crammed into a small area that doesn’t make for great pick up spots. Space and time are at a premium in major cities, people walk faster here and don’t want to pause their life to give you the time of day. As a girl walks from the subway to her destination she probably doesn’t want a stranger to come up to try and hit on her. Lets just say people in this city aren’t known for being outwardly friendly on the street, but that is understandable. So while there will be foot traffic all around you and cafes with hot single ladies sitting around don’t be surprised if you get blown off more often than not. If you wanted to try to pick up the hottest girls in New York City head to Fifth Avenue. This world renowned shopping district will have plenty of locals and tourists and can be a good place to start your search. Hanover Square around lunch time or after Wall Street shuts down is another good place. The bars will fill up after the closing bell, get a seat a few minutes before and let the professional ladies come to you. Other good day game spots can be: Central Park Hudson River park Murray Hill Soho Union Square Green Market Williamsburg in Brooklyn Chat With New York City Girls Online This city can be great but it can also be a pain in the ass in some ways. So many people and such expensive prices can start to weigh on you after awhile. It is much easier and more relaxing to log on to a dating site and chat with girls near you instead of having to go out and try to pick them up. Not only does it save you money but it is also a whole lot faster, you can message more girls in a matter of hours then you could approach in a month. There are many sites out there that can help you find your soul mate to settle down with. They are easy to find, but we are going to tell you about one that is more about hooking up. You surely have seen Adult Friend Finder around the internet and wondered if it was worthwhile or not right? In some cities there aren’t many users, but this isn’t most cities. There are literally thousands of New York City girls looking to hook up on Adult Friend Finder. They don’t want a husband, they don’t want to move in, they want to get laid and are looking for guys to help them with that problem. Does that sound like something you could do for them? New York City Dating Guide If you were interested in finding a long term relationship instead of just a quick hook up you can check out this list with more sites on DatingAdvice.com. Now you know about more than enough places to meet single girls, it is time for our New York City dating guide to begin. We have mentioned it a few times already, but in this city finding places to go won’t be a problem. There are so many cafes, bars, and restaurants that will be great for a date. If you are looking for some nice, romantic, and not budget friendly bars and restaurants for a first date you could try: Then there are some good bars and restaurants for a cheap date in New York City like: Spin can be a fun spot for a day date as well. Just know that after dark and on weekends the raise the rates to rent a ping pong table, so it isn’t as budget friendly during peak hours. You can find some of the best comedy clubs in the world here and they can make for an awesome date night. Some we recommend are: For something a little classier take her to a show on Broadway, here are links to some great theaters where you can catch a show: You may want to walk around Broadway and look for a specific show that is playing now that interests you. Day Date Ideas Then if you are looking for some more good day date ideas any of these should do the trick: Deep Tanks Studio is only held on the 2nd Saturday of each month, and Bagatelle has some great Sunday brunches that can be good for a date or as a place to look for single girls. A weekend getaway to Atlantic City could be a lot of fun for the two of you. Enjoy Dating New York City Girls We don’t like to come off as a broken record but this is one of the great cities for nightlife and entertainment in the world and is probably our longest American dating guide. While you do have plenty of options for pick up and date spots that doesn’t mean lots of guys don’t struggle with how to get a girl in New York. Check out some of the links above to find out which spots fall within your budget and give it a go. If you see a sexy lady anywhere go say hello and see what happens. Maybe it won’t work out, but if you don’t try then it definitely won’t work out. Don’t forget about the thousands of single women using Adult Friend Finder to get laid either, they can help get you through some dry stretches. That wraps up our best places to meet girls in New York City and the dating guide, enjoy your time here. Tagged dating, girls, new york, north america, usa
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