If you’re meeting girls, getting numbers and going on dates but aren’t getting to them to the point of comfort and intimacy then you’re probably not taking all the steps that it takes to get her there. So today Marni and I will explain each step in detail so you know the process. MORE RESOURCES: HOOKED Video Masterclass – 10 years of my most effective techniques for meeting and seducing beautiful women condensed into the ultimate video training – https://getherhooked.com/ 1-on-1 Premium Coaching – If you’d like to fast-track your success and work directly with me, fill out an application for coaching here – http://trippadvice.com/coaching/ The Irresistible Academy – Every month you’ll receive a new module for building a lifestyle that naturally attracts a woman – http://trippadvice.com/academy/ Grab a copy of my book Magnetic – https://trippadvice.com/book Listen to the How To Talk To Girls Podcast:On iTunes: https://buff.ly/2oJnwaFOn Spotify: https://buff.ly/2WlhGZr See what I’m up to:On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/trippadvice/On Twitter: https://twitter.com/TrippAdviceOn Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TrippAdvice/ Help us translate our videos into your language: https://buff.ly/2nunleZ.

Has your love life been a bumpy road filled with detours, roadblocks, and dead ends? If you never have a deep relationship that lasts, you may think everyone else is to blame. The right person just hasn’t come along yet. Think again. If you find something wrong with every date or you sabotage your relationships before they truly take off, you could be pointing your finger in the wrong direction. You may be the problem. Your Anxiety Can be Your Downfall According to marriage and family therapist Shelly Bullard, your insecurities could be to blame for the failure of your relationships. Your anxiety about finding love can be felt by prospective partners. Your doubts about the ability to make a relationship work can lead you to failure. Think of it as a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe you will never find true love, you are likely to prove that it is true. You Need to Accept Yourself If your relationships have failed in the past, you may need to get out of your own way. According to Dr. Juliana Breines, you need to accept who you are. When you come to terms with your faults and your strong points, you will gain acceptance. In turn, you will be able to accept love from others. See yourself through the eyes of someone who adores you. You’ll be able to have a new perspective on the good qualities that are inside of you, making you feel worthwhile. Your Expectations Are Unreasonable Whether you are searching for a soulmate or simply want to take a step in the right direction, think about your expectations in a partner. Are you setting the bar too high? You aren’t perfect. Why should you expect your date to be on a pedestal that outshines everyone else? You don’t have to sacrifice your morals when you are looking for a love interest. Just be realistic. Remember that potential dates are human too. Don’t Judge a Book by its Cover We all have fantasies about an ideal match. Books, magazines, television, and movies give us plenty of examples of attractive people. Don’t shut the door on someone who may not have conventional beauty. A person’s inner qualities are much more important than their looks. You Have Trust Issues Trust is the foundation of a strong relationship. It has to be mutual, not a one-way street. Calvin Rosser, a motivational speaker, and writer realized his failed relationships were rooted in broken trust in his past. A middle school sweetheart broke his heart. He carried the weight of her betrayal for many years. He couldn’t trust new women in his life because of the way a young love hurt him. Many of us have shared the same experience. The main thing you need to remember is you can’t assume everyone is going to cheat or pass you up for someone else. If you love someone and that love is returned, you have to put faith in your partner. Good Communication is a Must You need to express your feelings clearly with a potential partner. No one can read your mind. If you don’t like something, say so in a tactful way. Be honest. Tell the one you love what is most important to you. Be a good listener as well. Your partner needs to be able to speak his or her mind as well. When you open the door to your heart, you’ll be surprised at all the good things that can come your way. You Have to Make Good Choices All too often, people are drawn to someone who is not a good match. Think of all those bad boys and bag girls that are in popular culture. You may find yourself always trying to rescue a partner in trouble. Your dates could have unhealthy habits. You need to steer clear of anyone who is going to send you into an emotional trainwreck. You Need to be Willing to Try New Things If you are close-minded and only want to pursue your own interests, you are limiting your choice in dates. You’re also closing yourself to endless possibilities. Partners with a healthy relationship are willing to give new things a chance. If your date wants to go mountain climbing and you have always stayed on the ground, compromise with a hike. Find someone who is willing to take a ride on your motorcycle for the first time. Try taking turns when it comes to choosing what you will do on a date, what to eat, or where to go for a getaway. If you respect each other’s passions, you will broaden your horizons. Love is about chemistry and finding the right person at the right time. It’s also about looking at who you are and any barriers you have created. Knock those walls down and let love find its way in. Summary:If your relationships have always been doomed to failure, you could be to blame. You need to look at yourself. Acceptance is a start. Learning from past mistakes can help you to move forward. Signup for Our Newsletter Like this: Like Loading… Share This Article

“Why did she friendzone me?” When a girl you really like hands you a one-way ticket to the friendzone, it can be crushing. Nobody likes ending up in the friendzone, but it happens to pretty much all of us at some point. I mean, why do you think somebody originally coined the term “friendzone?” So many people end up there… But you don’t have to relegate yourself to the friendzone forever. There are several strategies you can use to attract gorgeous, high-value women and stay out of the friendzone for good. At the end of this article, I’ll provide expert insights and strategies to help you avoid being eternally friendzoned. But first, let’s take a look at the possible reasons you keep ending up in a painfully platonic place. Why Did She Friendzone Me? Reason #1: You’re Too Agreeable Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that all women want bad boys and that, because you’re a nice guy, you can’t get any woman to commit to you. The truth is that mature women are looking for nice men who will treat them well. But being a “nice guy” shouldn’t be synonymous with being a pushover. If you’ve been asking yourself for years how to not get friendzoned, it might be because you’re too agreeable. When you’re too agreeable, you come off as disingenuous because let’s face it, there’s no way you’re going to agree with every single thing she says. Moreover, when you turn into a yes man around a woman it might seem like you’re trying to overcompensate for something. Women like to be challenged, so don’t be shy about expressing your opinion. Reason #2: You’re Chasing Her You’ve probably heard that women like to be chased. Yes, some women like to be chased, but these aren’t necessarily the type of women that you want to pursue if you’re looking for a long term girlfriend. Furthermore, if you’re chasing after one woman, you’ve basically given all your power away. You aren’t challenging her, she knows that she can call on you whenever she feels like it and, thus, you instantly become less appealing to her. Reason #3: She’s Emotionally Unavailable Maybe she just got out of a relationship or has been through some painful situations that make her reticent when it comes to starting a relationship. If a woman is emotionally unavailable, she is going to friendzone you and most guys that come her way. If you see her with a “bad boy” or enjoying several casual hookups, don’t take it personally or feel like you need to change something about herself. She may have intimacy issues that are keeping her from pursuing a real relationship. If that’s the case, there’s really nothing you can do. She has to work through these things herself before entering a relationship. Some other signs that a woman is an emotionally available woman include: She takes forever to text you back Emotionally, she’s hot and cold She bashes her exes or is over the top about praising them She has addiction issues She never invites you out with her friends or to events She’s unnecessarily critical of you She makes you wonder if you’re in the friend zone or not (you’re confused as hell!)  Reason #4: She Has a Boyfriend or Husband Is she married or in a serious relationship? Did she recently try going back to her ex? Well, welcome to the reason that you got friendzoned. Please stop pursuing unavailable women. The end. Reason #5: You Work with Her If the woman in question is your co-worker, it’s understandable that she would be hesitant about dating you. And if this is the case, you need to respect it. Dating a co-worker is tricky territory and you should only proceed if both of you are mutually interested and your work policy allows it. Even then, you need to proceed with caution. If you’ve expressed interest in a co-worker and she puts you in the friendzone, move on. Continuing to pursue her is going to make her uncomfortable and could even cause you to lose your job. Reason #6: She’s Crazy I’d love to say that every woman who friendzones you is a nutcase and that is the ONLY reason any woman would ever friendzone you. However, that isn’t the case. BUT, it is possible that a woman who expresses interest and then places you into platonic territory has a screw loose. It’s possible. If you’ve been falling for a woman who displays erratic behavior or has left you feeling manipulated, you need to keep your wits about you and should probably steer clear of her completely. Sociopaths and narcissists are two types of people who get a rise out of manipulation. They are also dangerously charming, which is why many people end up getting duped by them in the dating world. To learn more about these types of personality disorders and how to steer clear of women who exhibit these traits, check out 10 Ways to Know if You’re Dating a Sociopath Woman and 7 Ways to Spot Narcissistic Women While Dating. Reason #7: She Thinks You’re Clingy Don’t allow your infatuation to turn you into a stage-five clinger. Even if a girl initially reciprocates your feelings for her, she will friendzone you FAST if she feels like you’re getting really clingy. So how do you know if you’re being clingy? Ask yourself if you do the following things: Do you bombard her with texts? Do you check up on her social media profiles? Have you been neglecting friends and family to spend time with her? Do you shower her with compliments and gifts even though you aren’t exclusive? If the aforementioned sounds familiar, you may be treading into stage-five clinger territory. Reason #8: She’s Just Not That Into You It doesn’t matter who you are. It doesn’t matter how smart, funny or good-looking you are. Some people are just not going to be that into you. And that’s ok. Instead of fixating on why a girl put you into the friendzone, you need to focus on how you can change your dating strategy and build your confidence in a way that attracts compatible partners. Below are some strategies to help you stay out of the friendzone for good. Strategies If You’ve Been Friend-zoned #1: MegaDating If you’re asking yourself “She friendzoned me should I ignore her?” this is the most effective strategy you can use. MegaDating is a dating process that involves dating several people at the same time in order to diffuse your energy by keeping your social calendar full. When you MegaDate, you’re far less likely to get hung up on one person and become a stage-five clinger. Because you are constantly meeting new people and developing connections, you won’t sweat the small stuff or become infatuated too soon. This strategy also helps you deal with things like rejection. MegaDating also helps you avoid settling for the mediocre. This is very important because settling in relationships can lead to things like unhappiness, an unfulfilling marriage, and even divorce. Practice makes perfect; with MegaDating, you’re constantly working on your game, which makes you become really good at approaching women. As you increase your confidence, women are automatically more attracted to you. Plus, the fact that you are dating more than one woman at a time stimulates an unconscious sense of competition in women. Thus, with MegaDating, you don’t have to chase women — they’ll be chasing after you.  #2: Expand Your Dating Horizons Obviously, you need to rack up some dates to MegaDate. You can do this by putting yourself out there in several ways. Other than the bar scene, meet different women by: Downloading dating apps and signing up for dating sites Asking friends to set you up Joining different Meetup groups Take an improv comedy class Join a co-ed sports league Farmers market and street fairs Coffee shops Concerts and other events Speed dating events (it’s MegaDating at lightning speed!) Yoga (who doesn’t love those pants) or group fitness events Strategy #3: Craft Compelling Date Ideas What makes a date compelling? A compelling date idea is one that appeals to a woman’s interests and also introduces her to a new experience. For example, if the girl you like is a karaoke fiend, take her to an event that does karaoke with a live band or some other eclectic event that allows her to get up and sing. Girls are used to guys asking them to go out for the standard coffee or happy hour.  You need to stand out from the other men she might be dating. Crafting compelling date ideas is a fantastic strategy if you’re wondering how to move out of the friend zone for good – because it shows the woman you’re willing to put some actual thought into a date.  Strategy #4: Use a TDL Every compelling date idea should include a TDL. A TDL is an acronym used to describe the three critical components of a date request’s call-to-action, the time, the date, and the location of the date. When you offer a specific time, date and location, it shows that you are considerate and chivalrous. Strategy #5: Use My Failproof Dating Blueprint You may be wondering how you can successfully MegaDate without breaking the bank. Won’t going out with tons of women all the time ruin your credit score? It doesn’t have to when you use my dating blueprint for the first three dates: First Date: It should be something that is less than an hour and does not exceed $15. Second Date: This date should be active and free. Consider something like hiking or visiting a museum. Eventbrite is also a great place to find free events. Here’s an article on some fun physical second date ideas and another on some unique second date ideas that’ll knock her socks off.  Third Date: This is the date where you can have a nice, intimate dinner. The third date is often when you will end up sealing the deal. There are tons of awesome and affordable dating options that will sweep a girl off her feet. A little creativity goes a long way. Stay Out of the Friendzone for Good Want to stay out of the friendzone for good? Book me as your dating coach. Head over to my calendar and book a new client 1-on-1 Skype session with me today. During our intro session, we will create diagnose your dating roadblocks, come up with short and long term action plans, and see if my 3 month coaching program might be a fit for you. I’ve helped men across the world get out of the friendzone and find the woman of their dreams. I can’t wait to do the same for you!

If you are looking for the best places to meet girls in Kigali with a dating guide then our site has you covered. Keep reading to learn all about where you can pick up single women and also some great spots for a date night. Table of Contents Trying to hook up in the nightlife will be where we begin. Up next we will cover meeting single Kigali girls during the day and the best dating site in Rwanda. Date night ideas and many different things for the two of you to do together will also be discussed. We have covered many African cities before if you need some more reading material. Nightclubs & Pick Up Bars Here is our list of the best singles bars and nightclubs to pick up Kigali girls: The main area for singles nightlife would be right downtown. Tourists reading this may want to try and book a hotel one with a bar or club from the above list, or stay anywhere near the KG 1 Roundabout in Kimihurura. That will have you as centrally located as you can be and will improve your odds of getting laid on your trip. Don’t be surprised if there are some prostitutes at Kigali bars or nightclubs which is common all across this continent. There are not many well-paying jobs to be found so women in Rwanda will do what they need to do to survive. You can also find plenty of singles nightlife in Kampala if you don’t mind traveling a ways to find a party. Meet Kigali Girls During The Day Day game in Rwanda might be a bit difficult, at least out on the streets. They are so overcrowded, dirty and chaotic that they are not a great place to try and pick up single Kigali women. You will likely have the most success trying to meet single girls at malls and shopping districts like: Remera Corner M Peace Plaza Kigali Heights Silverback Mall Chat With Girls Online As technology continues to change the way people interact we all need to be adapting if we want to keep up. Remember when you used to have to stand on the side of the road to hail a cab? Now you just order an Uber. Seems like a pretty solid upgrade to us, but why do so many guys look down on online dating sites? Have you been to a nightclub lately? How many girls near you were actually there to hook up or mingle with the crowd? And how many were there to show off on social media? But there are certainly some positives and technology opens up other opportunities in the form of online dating sites. If you want to meet girls in Rwanda online you have to check out Afro Introductions. It is the biggest online dating site on the continent and there are plenty of Kigali women using it for serious dating or just to get laid. You can spend a bunch of time and money trying to hit on one girl at a nightclub, or you can message hundreds of women in Rwanda on Afro Introductions in an hour and see who is ready to meet up now. Kigali Dating Guide We just fully covered the best ways to meet single girls near you so now it is time to pivot to our Kigali dating guide. Hooking up is only going to be possible if you make sure she has a great time with you. Any of these romantic restaurants and cocktail bars could do the trick: Have a nice meal together and then go for drinks and dancing in the downtown nightlife or see a show at the Inema Arts Centre. Day Date Ideas There are some really beautiful outdoor areas in Rwanda. Our favorite spots are all a few hours away but they are definitely worth the trip: Akagera National Park Lake Kivu Mount Bisoke For something a little simpler head to the City Tower to get great views of the whole area, watch a soccer game at Amahoro Stadium, or roam around Kimironko Market. For some more sophistication on your date during the day try: Rwanda Art Museum Inema Arts Centre Kagali Museum Kandt House Museum Campaign Against Genocide Museum Camp Kigali Memorial Tips For Tourists & Expats This section is mostly going to be about travel, but it may also play a small part in whether or not you hook up with Kigali girls while you are here. The local currency is the Rwandan Franc and you get about 930 for every USD but that can fluctuate. We mentioned it before but the best place to book a hotel would be downtown near the KG 1 Roundabout in Kimihurura. Being in the right part of town could be a major decider on whether you get laid or not while here. The last thing that we want to briefly mention again that you shouldn’t be shocked if there are some prostitutes at Kigali bars and clubs. Freelance prostitutes are often around the nightlife in foreign countries, if you walk into a bar and a bunch of sexy Rwandan women are giving you way more attention than is normal for you then they probably are more interested in your wallet than your personality. Enjoy Dating Kigali Girls That is all that we have for you right now but don’t worry we will continue to update this every few months. Feel free to share your own tips or correct any out of date information in the comments. Also don’t forget about the single Rwandan women near you on Afro Introductions  who are ready for dating or hook ups. That wraps up our best places to meet girls in Kigali with our dating guide, enjoy your time here. Tagged africa, dating, girls

Looking for the top signs a woman wants to sleep with you. Yep, that’s right- sex. You remember sex right? It’s that thing that 28% of men ages 18-30 got none of in 2018. There are a host of reasons why more than a quarter of sexually able men were celibate in 2018. Reasons range from a drastic increase in the time spent indoors, a shrinking middle class, and a large percentage of young men still living with their parents. It’s true, American men -and in fact men worldwide– are experiencing a sexual recession. The truth is that many eligible Don Juans put themselves in positions to have sex, but just can’t read the signs. Sadly, hiring the Astros to read the other team’s signs isn’t a viable strategy to learn to read signs that a woman wants to sleep with you. Lucky for you, you’ve got a woman on your team – and she’s batting cleanup. Not reading the signs a woman wants to sleep with you in a punctual manner could result in being relegated to the dreaded friend zone. Avoid this by learning the signs she offers both before and while on the date. But hey, even if you read the signs that doesn’t mean that you make your move. If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, I’ll teach you the optimal moment to sleep with her to ensure your odds of a long and sexually prosperous relationship. Signs a Woman Wants to Sleep with You: Before Your Actual Date  It can be quite an ask to discern signs she wants to sleep with you during a date. But not all of these signs will be shown during the throes of a romantic outing. The following signs should be easier to spot. Take a moment to consider if she’s ever displayed any of these signs before. She Texts You A Few Of Her Outfit Choices Allowing someone else to dress you puts them in the power position. If she snaps you a few pics of her outfits prior to a date she’s trying to do one of two things. Either she’s riling you up or trying to please you. Soliciting your opinion on her looks means she wants to do everything within her ability to appear more attractive. Both reasons come from a position to appear more attractive. The difference is that if she riles you up, purposing to get the juice flowing to your nether regions it means she’s a hunter. She could also send you photos of her outfits because she’s unsure of her looks and is being influenced by both her insecurity and desire to woo you. You should be able to understand which motive triggered the response within minutes of meeting up. If she appears vivacious and flirty it means she might be the aggressor. If she’s a bit laid back and nervous you may need to pursue her a bit more if you want sex to be in the cards. Women will only relinquish their power if they trust the recipient of said power. Asking you for approval or to pick out her clothing means she trusts you to use that power wisely. The Roommate Situation Always be on the lookout for sensitive or misplaced information that’s offered up freely. You may find it odd that she randomly brought up that her roommate won’t be home. It’s not odd, it just means *she wants you sexually. There’s literally no other reason she’d let you know Stacey’s visiting her parents this weekend. And no, it’s not because she can finally build a blanket fort in the living room. Be on the lookout for this information. If it’s common knowledge that you too will get it on she may accompany this information with a wink emoji or other signal that she clearly wants you to come over. If you two haven’t reached the point where sex is expected, she may camouflage this information. Perhaps she’ll say, “Oh it’s so nice finally having the place to myself. My roommate has been driving me crazy.” It’s easy to miss or misread the intent behind this information. But be aware that this is something she’d say before a date. In the midst of an in-person conversation, such information could organically pop up and sincerely not be code for, “come over so we can canoodle.” If sent over the phone, this message isn’t an unconscious stream of thought outburst, but rather a calculated message with hidden intentions. She may also politely inquire as to your roommate situation. If you can’t discern whether this is a signal to have sex, jokingly reply that the house is all yours so that you two can play as much scrabble, complete as many jigsaw puzzles, or engage in whatever other dorky and non-sex related activity. This response should heat up the tension and might even elicit a more forward response from her. If the date is going well consider turning your shared desire to play Jenga at your house a running joke. Continuing to joke about it will make it easier to ask her to come over at the close of the date. She Asks You How Far Away The Location is From Her/Your Place This one can be tricky to interpret. It’s possible she honestly might want to know how long it’ll take her to get from her home to the date location. Though we can glean her intent by thinking back to prior dates. Has she ever asked how far away the date spot is from her place before? If she asking now because she’s never heard of the place or has a hunch that it’s quite far from her home? If the answers to the prior questions are both no, then she might want to bring you to her pad. It’s far easier to understand her intent if she’s asking how far away your home is from the date spot. Should she ask this, give pause. Why in the world would she care? If you want to pry just a bit more info out of her and are feeling ballsy, text her, “no worries, I can practically carry you to my place from the restaurant.” Her response will reveal a bit more of her intent. Signs a Woman Wants to Sleep with You: While On the Date If deciphering signs a woman wants to sleep with you before a date was triple-A ball, now we’re in the big leagues. Signals while on a date aren’t always plentiful and if not recognized immediately could fly under the radar. Keep on the lookout for these mid-date signals that she wants to strip you naked and enjoy the view from underneath you. She Asks You Suggestive Questions How many people have you slept with? What’s the craziest place you’ve ever had sex? Which position is your favorite? If she’s willing to brazenly ask you sexually charged questions such as these it can one one of two things. The more unfortunate of the two is that she doesn’t find you sexually attractive and is toying with you. She’s had a bit to drink, knows there’s no future with you, and feels like dangling the fantasy of having sex with her in front of your face. This isn’t common unless she’s a terrible human. The less unfortunate scenario is that she’s had a bit to drink and wants you to fantasize about having sex with her as much as she’s fantasizing about it with you. To heat things up a bit more, when pertinent tell her that you can show her your favorite position if you’d she’d like to. Say so in a casual, respectful, and playful way. Remember that you two are adults. You’ve been on at least a few dates and sex has crossed both of your minds. We’re in a day and age when talking about sex before having it isn’t that odd of a dinner subject. She Wants To Finally Meet Your Dog Queue Bump & Grind, light that Ben & Jerry’s candle you’ve been saving for that special occasion, and remember to chew that mint before swallowing, because it’s on! I pride myself on my abilities as a professional wingwoman, but honestly, I’m nothing compared to the inherent wingman skills of a K-9. Broaching the desire to meet your dog is the perfect segue to inviting her over. The only issue with this is that unless her coming over is preceded by some steamy kisses, you can’t be 100% certain she came over to have sex. Maybe, just maybe she just really wants to pet your (four-legged) dog. Ascertain what her intentions are by trying to heat things up prior to her coming over. If a kiss hasn’t taken place before she stepped foot into your house it’s unlikely that she wants to have sex. She Asks If You Live Alone As we’ve discussed, not everyone feels comfortable having sex with the knowledge that a roommate (or two) might be listening. She doesn’t want any surprises if she comes over. Being ambushed by a roommate could completely throw off her mentality. Asking if you live alone is her way to prepare for what’s to come. She Asks You to Help Her with Something Back at Her Place There are two ways she could request this. She could ask you in a shy and diffident manner. If she does so, she isn’t sure if you’re really into her or not. She’s resorted to asking you over because the signs you’ve been sending her aren’t explicit enough. Or she could inject a bit of playfulness in her request. Her playful intonation when asking should be equivalent to a wink. Of course she wants to have sex, but her flirting style doesn’t allow her to explicitly ask for it. She Touches Your Thigh The location of a touch carries with it a unique signal. A touch to the upper shoulder, for example, might be a friendly one or used to point you in one direction or the other. A touch down south, however, signals that she wants to explore as much as you’re willing to let her. The further south, the longer the duration, and higher frequency of touch are all signals of intense attraction. While a touch to the thigh is a pretty unequivocal signal she wants you, if you miss the signal or refuse to reciprocate within a timely manner, she may stop putting herself out there and assume you’re not into her. Generally speaking, this signal is pretty easy to perceive, however alcohol may blur your discerning abilities. She Maintains Physical Contact While Talking Touching you has become no natural that she doesn’t feel the need to even let you go while talking. Rather than pull away she opts to not break the physical connection by maintaining physical touch. A smile accompanied by sustained touching is also a telltale sign a woman wants to sleep with you. Now all you’ve got to decide is whether or not to do it. When You Should Sleep with Her if You Want a Relationship First dates should last no longer than an hour and no more than $10 should be spent. Second dates must be active and 100% free. If she’s lucky enough to make it to a third date it’s time to bust out the bag of tricks. Third dates have no monetary or time restrictions. If she’s third date material it means you’re serious about pursuing a long-term relationship with her. Third dates are the time to signal how you feel about each other. Sex on a first or second date signals that you two just want to shag. Sex on a third date shows that you’re willing to hang out with this person for reasons that aren’t wholly sexually motivated. If you two are into each other the sexual tension should come to a boil by the third date. Take her somewhere nice, close to your apartment, and make all the preparation necessary to be ready to bring her back to your place. While sex isn’t obligatory on a third date, it should be expected. So What’s Next? Well that all depends on you. Do you feel comfortable in your ability to read the signs a woman wants to sleep with you? If not, it’s time to get serious about your romantic skills and enlist the help of a dating expert. I’m helped dozens of men successfully graduate from the friend zone to Don Juans in a matter of months. To learn more about how we can personalize a dating blueprint to satisfy your romantic goals, book a 1-on-1 Zoom session. It’s here that you’ll learn what skills I can provide that will help you grow into a romantically competent dater.

It can be tricky talking to men when you don’t know what to say. You might find yourself stuck in silence wondering what to talk about. The best solution is to have questions to ask a guy that get him interested in you. If you know what questions to ask, you can make him feel whatever you want. Including attraction for you. You don’t need “1000 questions for every possible situation…”  You only need a few questions that do the job right! Questions can be conversational magic if you know what you’re doing. And if you’re a woman dating a man, you better know some of these if you want him to see you as different, and to get his attraction. First of all – let’s review – Why it’s so important to use questions with guys: Men respond to questions – especially from women Men have a primitive program that makes them almost compelled to answer questions from a woman.  So you never really need to worry about him going silent on you or not responding when you know how to ask questions correctly. Questions awaken his emotions Many women wonder how to reach a man’s emotions so you stir his feelings for you. The easiest way to do this is to ask questions of him.  Questions can arouse his feelings in a way that no other words can. Questions get him to pay attention to you They engage his attention and keep him focused on YOU. Guys think and communicate linearly, so they will be entranced – IF you know how to ask the right questions. Questions get you secret info… A good question is like Truth Serum to men. When you ask the right questions, you can find out ANYTHING you ever wanted to know about him. And the best part is he won’t ever feel like you’re interrogating him or interviewing him. If you know how to ask him questions right –  And ask the right questions. As you might imagine, questions are the magic bullet when it comes to getting a man to respond to you. Questions can also be a magic remote control for a man as well. As we go through this list, keep in mind that having more questions just means more things you want to memorize. And let’s be real – NOBODY wants to memorize a bunch of stuff! We did that in public school, but it’s not fun anymore. So I’m going to give you a few questions that you can choose from. Use them to inspire him to open his heart up to you. You don’t want to just be a parrot, either. You want to be able to know WHY these questions work with men so that you can come with your own anytime. One question you should never ask a man:  Anything dealing with relationships before the 16th date… Okay I might be exaggerating a little bit by the 16th date but honestly that’s a good limit.  And the reason that I say that is because if you’re the one bringing up the relationship, one of two things is probably true:  You’re bringing this talk up too early…  You’re asking about your relationship because you’re not getting anywhere with him, and it’s likely he’s just not interested in a relationship If a man is ready for a relationship, he will tend to move forward with you. All by himself! Men don’t resist the thing they want in life, any more than you do. If he’s not interested in a relationship with you he will drag his feet and stall in the way that you may hear many women complain about. And there’s very little if anything you can do about it. If you have to push a man into a relationship, then you probably made a mistake much earlier that made him decide you are not the one. (If you want to know why this happened, go read this special report on commitment…) Let’s jump in and review – 21 ESSENTIAL Questions To Ask A Man I’m going to Run-through some really important questions you need to ask a man.  Each one has a purpose, and I’ll explain how to use it as well. Of course most of these can be used as phone texts or topics of conversation for when you’re in person. Question #1:  Take him back to being a kid… When you ask a man a question, you should know what state you want him to feel from the question. In other words, you want to elicit a certain emotional reaction. And maybe even awaken some memories. Here are a few ways of doing that: What is your favorite guilty pleasure? OR What is your favorite childish fun thing to do? This question gets him to break past his own internal barriers. Most people are stuck in small talk. If you want this guy to start having feelings for you, you have to be brave and break free of the small talk. Most women stay in small talk too long, asking questions that are so boring they could put any man to sleep.  In fact it’s a common complaint from men that women are too safe with their conversation. Most women are trying to avoid being confrontational, awakening any negative emotions, or taking any risks when talking to men. This is a huge mistake, because he will very likely lose interest because you played it to safe then if you took a risk. Question #2:  Break Through the Wall… One of the most important things to do is to get him to be vulnerable with you. Most women understand this and do their best to open him up. But if you don’t know how men want you to do this, you can very often scare them away. Here’s a great question to get him to start exposing his feelings more: What are you most doubtful/uncertain about right now? Or What is one of your biggest doubts? The secret power of this question is that it gets him to talk about an area of his life where he may be struggling with a decision, or deliberating a lot. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to get a man out of his casual frame of thinking with you. Question #3:  The Origami Question… Here’s one that will really stir up some great energy in your conversation: “Can you remember the last time you lost your keys? Or wallet?” OR “Tell me about the last time you broke your phone screen…” There are a lot of different questions in this particular vein. What you’re trying to do is to ask a question about a seemingly small event that has a lot of emotional punch. I call it the origami question because asking it will open up and unfold a whole bunch of stories. I’m sure you can think of a few more just like this. Question #4:  Research The Other Side Question… If you want to have some fun conversation, there’s no better topic than gender. Specifically, the experience the other side has. If you want to start up some really great conversation, ask him something like this: “What’s the best thing about being a guy?” Or “What’s the worst thing about being a guy?” Or “Who do you think has it better, women or men?” Now, obviously this question is very charged. There’s a whole bunch of emotional triggers that could come up, so make sure you are fairly comfortable talking about this kind of topic with him. But if you listen closely, you will hear very insightful information about how men perceive women. And some insights into how men think and feel too. Question #5:  Test Their Limits Question… I personally love to ask moral dilemma questions. They always tease out the most interesting perspectives from the other person. One great way to do this is to ask them what they would NOT do for money. “So what would you NEVER do for $1 million?” You can also play around with the amount a little bit to find out the threshold they have for certain things. Once you find out, you can then start to play with the question a little bit: “Would you eat a snail sandwich for $50? For $100??” Play with the situations, and the amount of money. When you find a threshold, ask them this: “So what would you do with that money anyway?” This way you find out how they value money and experience. Question #6:  Secret Insider Question… This question is designed to bring out interesting details about him so you can learn more about him. It’s another fun question: “What job do you think YOU could get with no experience and no references?” OR “What job do you think you could BS your way into?” Question #7:  Awaken The Dreams Question… Asking hypothetical questions is a great way to get him engaged in the conversation. Like this one: “What’s your dream job?” We all have a dream job we wish we could be doing and getting paid for.  This question is easy to remember, too. There’s something enjoyable about entertaining our dreams in conversation like this. Question #8:  Absurdly Fun Question… Here’s one that can evoke some stronger feelings, but it’s worth it when you’re ready: “What do you think is the most ridiculous thing about life today?” Or “What do you think aliens think is the most absurd part of human culture? Focusing in on the absurd and the ridiculous starts to sketch how this guy thinks about the world. Which of course is great information for you to know. Question #9:  Words To Live By… You can also find out about his direction in life by asking about the wisdom he’s heard. You can ask him: “Are there any sayings that you think you live your life by?” Or “What are the most powerful words of wisdom you’ve ever heard?” And then pay attention to what he thinks is wisdom. It will probably point towards an area of his life that is important to him. And then you can explore that. Question #10:  Wake Up The Elephant… One topic that we don’t talk much about but influences us all the time is technology. Throw this question in and you’ll definitely get into some deeper conversation about communication – and life in general. “Do you think that technology is bringing us closer together? or pushing us further apart?” This will definitely bring up a bit of his views and perhaps his philosophy surrounding our modern age of technology. Question #11:  Would you rather…? Perhaps the hands-down winner of fun questions to ask are the “Would you rather…?” questions. My son loves these in particular. So you know most guys probably will. And the best part is that you can think these up on the spot. “Would you rather eat 1 pound of your least favorite vegetable, or exercise for two hours straight?” “Would you rather lose your car keys or your cell phone?” “Would you rather have nosy neighbors or noisy neighbors?” “Would you rather work in a group or work alone?” (Great for finding out if he’s extroverted or introverted) Question #12:  Marvel At His Answers… Most people have seen a superhero movie at this point. And you can bet if he’s a guy he has, too. Ask him this one: “If you could be any superhero from the movies or comics, which one would you be?” Of course you can also ask him the tried but true: “If you could pick any superhero superpower, which one would you want the most?” Digging into what kind of power a man values tells you a lot about his personality. Listen closely to his answer! Question #13:  Open Up The Vulnerability… A great question you can ask a guy is this one: “What is the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?” If you’re not feeling that you have the right level of rapport yet, you can change it to a softer version: “What’s the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you as a kid?” This is especially good at breaking down all the barriers that we normally have on the first date. Use it to move faster when you know you like the guy. Bringing out his vulnerability to you will actually make him feel more connected to you. Question #14:  Figure Him Out Quick Question… If you’re meeting a guy that you met online or on a dating app, you want to know where you stand with him as quickly as possible. When it comes to online dating, you can’t know too much too soon. Ask him this: “So what was it about me that intrigued you the most?” Or “What did you find most interesting about my profile?” You don’t want this to sound like a test, but you want to listen close and hear what he says. (Warning: This could be a potentially embarrassing moment.) If he’s very general with his answer and doesn’t come up with anything specific, there’s a good chance he doesn’t even remember your profile at all. He’s just winging it – or he just wants to have fun. On the other hand, if he’s very specific, there’s a good chance he’s very interested. Either way you will know where you stand. Just a side note: just because he doesn’t remember your profile doesn’t mean he isn’t a good candidate. A lot of guys just don’t have a good memory for the details of an online profile. ( I was one of them). Question #15: Unleash the Power Question… One of the best questions you can ask is about what it is that really motivates him. This is especially good for you looking at him as a prospective boyfriend, mate, whatever. The best way to do this is to ask him a question about his passions. “What are you most passionate about?” Then sit back and listen to what he says. A man’s passions reveal his character. And it will tell you a lot about whether or not you are compatible with him. Question #16:  Go for the Jugular…! Here’s one that will tell you everything that you need to know –  if you have the guts to ask it: “What do you find attractive in a woman?” Most women won’t ask this because she’s too afraid to hear him say something that she isn’t. Put your fear aside, and ask him. He will tell you everything you need to know in order to win his heart if you listen closely enough. And if what he says isn’t you, then move on to the next candidate. Question #17:  Peek Into The Crystal Ball… This one is great because you find out about his goals, and even where he sees himself in a relationship: “Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?” This is probably one of the best questions to ask to find out if he’s really interested in a relationship or if he’s just a clown winging it through life. If he can’t come up with anything very specific or interesting sounding, he’s probably not very ambitious and not goal oriented. And you should move on. Because if you’re not careful, his answer could be your life 10 years from now. Question #18:  Friends First Question…? Here’s one that will tell you a little bit about how he sees the Platonic part of your relationship: “What makes a good friend to you?” Or “What do you think a good friendship should be like?” Most couples understand that a romantic relationship is also a very deep friendship. So find out early on what he thinks you two should be as friends! Question #19:  Get Tricky… Here’s a great question to ask a guy that will tell you more about his character: “Tell me about something you’re putting off right now…” or “Tell me about something you’re procrastinating on right now…” This question is great to find out what his motivations are, and his DE-motivations. Of course the next question to ask is: “Why do you think you aren’t you getting that done?“ Don’t sound like you’re accusing him, just sound curious. Question #20: The Big Prize question… Here is a good old standard that works every time: “If somebody dropped $100 million in your lap, what would you do with it?” This is probably one of the best ways to find out all kinds of things about him… How he values money If he’s really doing what he wants to in life right now Is he charitable? You can learn a whole bunch with one little question! Question #21: Get Philosophical… Every so often it’s a good idea to throw out a deep think question, too.  This one is especially good because it’s wide open – after he answers yes/no. “Do you believe everything happens for a reason?” It’s also very hard to answer this question with just a yes or no. He’ll probably launch into a very long explanation of his answer. Listen to him! You’re getting a bunch of juicy detail about him. Question #:  And For The Big Kahuna… Once you’ve established some rapport with other questions in this list, it’s time to bring out the big guns. Ask this whopper when you feel the time is right: “What do you think the biggest thing you’ve done with your life so far is?” Yes this is a big whopper of a question. But you shouldn’t be afraid to ask it! You may not want to pop it on the first date, but I would suggest you ask him AT LEAST on the second date.  Some women go their entire lives without ever asking their man something as revealing as this question. You want to ask this question and then close your mouth and listen to his answer… Let him ramble on for as long as he wants! Listen in between the lines – listen to what he says – and what he DOESN’T say… And one more thing – Let me tell you a SECRET about these questions that you probably didn’t know… When he tells you his answer, you may be tempted to answer similar to his. But that would be a big mistake. One thing most women don’t know is that a man will respect you MORE if you answer from your heart. He will know the difference. And it’s actually better if you don’t always agree with him completely. Men are more intrigued when you have your own opinions and answers that don’t reflect his. There are a lot of little tricks to understanding how men think about attraction… AND how they choose one woman over another to be with – and commit to! If you don’t know how men connect with you, you’re probably going to make a lot of mistakes. And I don’t want you to make those mistakes anymore! If you could find out what men think, and find out what you may have been doing wrong all this time, would you want to? If you want to fix your mistakes once and for all – with the man in your life right now or the next one – you need to know what his CONNECTION CODE is! Go find out here…

I am closing on my late twenties in a couple years and I took some time off to reflect on what I did right, and what I did wrong in my dating life in my twenties. One of the best things I did for myself was to understand psychology, dating and relationships on a deeper level. Do not Trade Money or Status for Affection You may be tempted to trade money or social status for love and affection. This is why people pursue certain life choices. Such as taking a degree just to get into that high paying job, or starting a career they dislike just to impress others. Yes, money and status works. If you were rich and came from a prestigious family background, it all helps. It makes dating much easier. However, you’re not building a true skillset. You’re not building up your social skills. You still do not understand what attracts women. You want to look for unconditional relationships in your long term relationships. Yes, money and success can be an initial motivator for someone to be in a relationship with you, but you’ll need other values such as connection, respect and trust above material success for a long term relationship to succeed. Learn Social Skills I didn’t come from a wealthy background, in fact I came from a financially stressful background. It forced me to innovate and learn social skills ground up. It taught me how to tease, how to flirt, how to start conversations with the opposite sex on the go without relying on money or social status (because I had none). I took the same resilience and social skills I built through my dating life and built a business. The compounding effects of going through hardship and putting yourself out there is going to reflect in other areas of your life. Imagine if you had it easy from day one. You had it all given to you. And one day, disaster strikes you’re left with nothing. Will you have the tenacity and ability to build your life up back to where it was? If your girlfriend dumped you overnight, can you go out and find another partner? If your business fails, can you adjust and pivot? If your friends grow up apart from you, can you find and connect with other like-minded individuals and communities? Be Reliable and be Competent Reliability, accountability is going to determine how competent you are. If you built negative habits of sloth during your twenties, it’s going to compound against you in your thirties. The little things make a whole world of difference. Little habits such as being punctual and delivering on what you’re discharged to do is what separates false confidence from true confidence. Forget the bravado of looking cool on social media or at the club. The truly confident individual is focused on himself. He discharges his duties reliability and with competency. Conclusion The arduous process of self-improvement, building up social skills sets and developing reliability and competency is going to pay off a lot more in the long run. This is how you walk the narrow road of being an truly attractive man in your twenties. Signup for Our Newsletter Like this: Like Loading… Share This Article

I know, I know — we all might be getting a tad bit cranky when it comes to Internet dating. It’s exhausting enough doing it, but it’s also exhausting hearing other people bitch about it. I hear you, I feel you, I totally get you, though I DO confess a slight, sick reverence for hearing other women’s tragic online-dating horror tales — hey, at least I’m not alone, you know? (Don’t lie; it’s fun.) Anyway, just when I’ve thrown my hands in the air and loudly proclaimed, “THAT’S IT FOREVER AND ALWAYS DERRRRR DUUUUDE I’M SO DONE,” another bizarre study is turned loose upon the media, unveiling shocking new truths about the perils of trying to sell your soul (i.e., attract a date) on the Web. The Loveawake study reveals the odd bit of info that, in examining the profiles of 7,294 male daters who were rejected by ladies, the top 5 words the men’s profiles shared were “romantic,” “adventurous,” “fun,” “mature,” and “gentleman.” (All were adjectives the dudes used to describe themselves.) Apparently, the term “romantic” made women vom the hardest (43 percent of the shunned men’s profiles contained that word), followed by “adventurous” (19 percent). “Fun” got 14 percent, “mature” earned 11, and “gentleman” came in at 10. But … Why did those particular keywords turn so many women off? I’d venture to offer that it’s because they’re a bit … cliche. Women know when guys think they’re being all clever ‘n shit, spouting off exactly what they think we want to hear to help oh so subtly nudge us in the direction of getting naked, but the truth is … Most of them just don’t. (Truly know what we want to hear, I mean.) Proof: tossing around the word “romantic” like it’s their favorite new hobby. I’m not saying that men can’t or shouldn’t be romantic — if they really, truly are. Most of us appreciate a bit of romance — I know I do, but only if it feels natural and sincere. Seeing “I’m a hopeless romantic!” on every other 30-something guy’s dating profile does not inspire confidence about the actual potential of said guys so much as it makes me feel like they’re feeding me sweet little lines. I have no beef with the other words on the rejected list, though, and have no clue why they’d purportedly trigger women to recoil en masse. I can kind of see the ick factor in a guy describing himself as a “gentleman” — again with the cliches. But the rest of the descriptors seem pretty harmless, if a bit generic. Here’s my personal list of 5 Internet-dating man-words (or man-phrases) that give me a legit case of the heebie-jeebies: 1. Massage (as in “I’m really good at massage, both giving and receiving.”) 2. Burning Man (as in that’s one of his main interests, or an overarching theme in his profile, or the dusty-hippie background of every single one of his photos) 3. “Making art” (as in … you get it) 4. “No TV” (as in ANY POSSIBLE VARIATION on the notion of being too cool/smart/busy for television, including the classic “I don’t have time for TV” or “I don’t own a TV” — please, for the love of Jesus, spare us) 5. Jesus (as in “I’ve accepted Jesus as my lord and savior.” I’d totally consider dating someone with different spiritual  beliefs, but no zealots, thx). What dating keywords creep you out (online, or in real life)? Please discuss below. Written by Laura B.

So Mr. Handsome passed the tests of eligible bachelorism and has asked you out on your first date in…God knows how long. As the conversation proceeds, and your head is filled with images of an intimate candlelit dinner a la Lady and the Tramp (hopefully he’ll use a fork rather than his nose to feed you that last meatball). As the lust-filled fantasy fades, you hear, “So you wanna come over and chill?” Screech! Pump your brakes, playboy. While it might be easy to accommodate his lack of prep and planning, here’s why you should say “nah” (insert meme here) when approached with such an…enticing offer. It’s Lazy. Part of the excitement of the first few dates is knowing that someone was interested enough in your to think and plan some ways to spend time together. If all he comes up with is, “Let’s chill…” Talk about a major let-down. With all relationships, effort is a must — from both parties. But if he’s not even putting the effort in to treat you special from the get-go, it’s probably not going to change. He doesn’t want to work for it. He doesn’t want to earn your heart. He’s not worth it. Sorry. It’s Lame. Some men might use the excuse that they’re broke. Don’t fall for it. There are so many ways to get to know each other that don’t involved a darkened crib. Tell him to grab a blanket, make some sandwiches and take you on a picnic. Or go for a bike ride. Or, in chillier months, if he’s got a couple bucks, go ice-skating. Do something. But don’t do “chilling.” If he does it right, the two of you will have years and years to chill on the couch. It’s Inconsiderate Why should anyone assume that your idea of a “getting-to-know-you” date involves an old couch, Redbox and some snacks — if you’re lucky? He got you to say yes. But then he’s going to potentially ruin it by not considering you when it comes to planning something for the two of you to do. Hell, if he can’t think of anything — because let’s face it, men are not the best planners — at the very least he can talk with you about it to get a feel for your likes and dislikes. After all, this date includes both of you, right? Harpo, Who Dis Man? So you’ve had a couple of hours-long phone and Skype conversations. Do you really know this dude from Adam? No! If you’ve seen For Colored Girls, you know exactly what can happen if you choose to trust a man before you know who you’re dealing with. Not just that, but it’s good to see upfront how a man acts in public. If he’s blowing his nose at the table and chewing with his mouth open, or if every girl you pass on the street seems to know his name, you know you have some thinking to do before taking it further (and, um, I’m being polite here. You should run. Like now.) You Deserve Better. Point, blank and the period. You’re a lady. So demand to be treated like one. Because if you start off a potential relationship expecting and accepting sub-par treatment, that’s exactly what you’re going to receive. And that’s not fair. And it’s downright disrespectful. How you start off is how you’ll continue, so train him early (yeah, I said it) to respect your body, your time and you as a woman and potential mate. That way you won’t be stuck six months down the line whining, “We never go anywhere! You never take me out!” Ugh. You’ll hate yourself and resent him. And why in the world would he do that now when you weren’t demanding that from the very beginning? Don’t get hit with the okie-doke, ladies. Don’t settle for a little when you deserve it all.

If you are looking for the best places to meet girls in Ghent with a dating guide then you can stop searching right now. This page is full of information about where to pick up single women and show them a great time out on a date night. Table of Contents We always like to begin with the nightlife, then we will move on to meeting single Ghent girls during the day plus a sneaky good dating site for fast hook ups. Date night ideas and a wide variety of stuff to do all throughout the day will also be discussed. We love historic European cities like this one because they are super easy to enjoy on a trip. Nightclubs & Pick Up Bars Let’s begin this with our list of the best singles bars and nightclubs to pick up Ghent girls: [embedded content] The main area for singles nightlife is right downtown in the city center, particularly around Korenmarkt. We were just mentioning how we love visiting cities like this and that is because all you really need to do is get a hotel downtown and you are right in the heart of the action. Not only will you be close to the best bars and nightclubs to hook up with Ghent girls, but many of the date spots and things to do are also right in that area. Those who plan well and have a room in the right part of town are much more likely to get laid. Be sure to read about the best bars and clubs to meet girls in Antwerp if you also will be heading that way. Meet Ghent Girls During The Day That downtown area around Korenmarkt should have plenty of single Ghent women walking through it all day and night. There are tons of shops, cafes, restaurants and other things to do in the area to keep drawing them in. If it is cold or rainy out then you can also try to meet girls at malls and shopping districts like: Post Plaza Gent Zuid Shopping Centre Chat With Girls Online Technology keeps changing the way we interact with each other and we all need to be adapting if we want to keep up. Why stand on the side of the road waving your arm in the air like an idiot to flag down a cab when you can use Uber and even pay less money to do so? That seems like a pretty obvious positive, yet why do so many men have a negative opinion about online dating sites? When was the last time you partied at a club? How many girls were actually there to have a good time and interact with guys? And how many were there for an Instagram photo shoot? But really there have been quite a few positives when it comes to tech and it definitely can open up other doors thanks to online dating sites. If you want to meet girls in Ghent online and are just looking to hook up use Adult Friend Finder. You will be surprised at just how popular this site is here, as it has become throughout Europe. You could put on some nice clothes, wait in a long line, and spend a ridiculous amount of money to maybe find a cute girl who will actually talk to you at a club and then hope she is ready to hook up. Or you could use Adult Friend Finder and start messaging girls near you who actually want to get laid right now. Ghent Dating Guide We just talked about the best ways to meet single girls around town so now we need to pivot to our Ghent dating guide. Hooking up is only going to happen if you are able to show her a really great time on your night out. Any of these romantic restaurants and cocktail bars should hopefully help to accomplish that: Go party in the nightlife around Korenmarkt after your meal, or take her to see a live show at: Day Date Ideas Getting out to enjoy a sunny day is always advisable if you can. Some of the best spots to get outdoors would be: Baudelopark Citadelpark Gentbrugse Meersen Bourgoyen-Ossemeersen Walk around the downtown area and go to Grasleo, Korenlei, and head to St Michael’s Bridge. For more historic places to check out on your date during the day try: Municipal Museum of Contemporary Art Museum voor Schone Kunsten STAM Museum Huis van Alijn Design Museum Gent Gravensteen Castle Belfry Tower St Bavo’s Abbey Brussels is always a good choice for where to go for a romantic trip together. Enjoy Dating Ghent Girls That is all that we have to share with you today but we will continue to update this as often as we can. If you have any special tips or want to update any information here please go ahead and do so in the comments. Also don’t forget about the single women near you on Adult Friend Finder who are waiting for new guys to hook up with. That wraps up our best places to meet girls in Ghent with our dating guide, enjoy your time here. Tagged belgium, dating, europe, girls

The Stitch Community is officially in crisis and needs help. But not just any help. YOUR help. You don’t need to do much. But if you care about the wellbeing of the Stitch Community and our mission to address social isolation by enriching the lives of older adults around the world, please read this article. Without help from our members, Stitch won’t survive. Why this article? At a personal level, this is a really difficult article to write. I wouldn’t be writing it at all if I hadn’t been pushed to do so by Stitch members. I should probably explain. As many of you will know, since the start of the COVID-19 crisis we’ve been hosting virtual events for our members, to help everyone stay socially connected through what is an extraordinarily difficult time for anyone living on their own. Some of these are what we call “Quick Stitch” events, where we host an extremely large virtual meeting with lots of members, which we then break up into small groups so everyone can chat in a more intimate social environment. Recent “Quick Stitch” event with members in California It’s hard to have a meaningful conversation when you’re on a Zoom call with 100 people, but having a chat with 3 or 4 people at a time is just perfect. This is a really difficult article to write; I wouldn’t be writing it at all if I hadn’t been pushed to do so by Stitch members. Last week I was hosting a Quick Stitch event for about 70 people. (At the time I thought that was a big event, but some of our upcoming events have over 200 attendees registered!) I usually give everyone a couple of icebreakers to help start the conversation. One of these was: “what’s something about you that you haven’t shared on your Stitch profile, and why?“ The event was great fun and a huge success. At the end we had a Q&A session, and one of the members asked me the same question: what was something about me that I haven’t shared on my Stitch profile, and why? I don’t often get asked personal questions at Stitch events, so I wasn’t really prepared for it. My mind went blank. I suddenly found myself blurting out the biggest thing that’s been on my mind lately: how stressed I am about Stitch being in financial freefall as a result of COVID-19, and that we don’t know how to ensure the community survives. I shared how much of a toll it’s been taking on me, and on the Stitch team. The response was sudden and overwhelming. Why haven’t you told anyone?You need to let the community know!You need to tell us how we can help! So here we are. This blog post is me baring my soul (so to speak) and putting aside the brave face I usually strive for so that everyone in the community can know about the challenges we’re facing. A financial crisis, courtesy of COVID-19 If you’re new to the community, you may be surprised to learn that in the six years Stitch has been operating, our membership fees have only ever covered a small proportion of our operating costs. The majority has been met through a combination of government grants, donations, impact investment, and partnerships with organizations that are aligned with Stitch’s goal of improving lives by addressing social isolation, such as health & wellness providers in the US. Within weeks of COVID-19 taking hold, all that support was gone. Almost overnight, the rug was pulled out from underneath us as the world scrambled to come to terms with the new reality. We were devastated on multiple fronts as the impact of the crisis sunk in: In the US, health plans nationwide cancelled support for any activities that involved in-person interactions for older adults. Every single program we had been working on, including community launches for Texas, California, Ohio and Florida, were immediately terminated. County and city health departments which had previously been helping Stitch establish new communities shut down all activity so they could focus on COVID-19. In Australia, local and state governments cancelled pre-existing grants programs designed to support social connections for older adults. Even grants that we had already been awarded were cancelled. The impact of COVID-19 sent our most important enterprise health & wellbeing partners into financial crises of their own, forcing them to furlough entire workforces and slash budgets. Social programs were the earliest casualties, which included support for Stitch. In a single week in early April, Stitch lost 85% of the financial support that had been keeping the community running. Maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised last week when a Stitch member I hadn’t seen in a couple of years came to one of my virtual events and told me, “Jeez, you look OLD mate. You looked a lot younger last time we met. You need to look after yourself more.” Limited options Stitch is a social enterprise founded to enrich the lives of all our members through positive social connections, and is responsible for building the web site and apps that power the Stitch Community. The Stitch Community itself is a non-profit charity, responsible for providing help to those who need it most and raising awareness about the impact of social connections on health through the charity’s website wipeoutloneliness.org. Stitch is, in other words, built to do good. Unfortunately, it costs money to keep Stitch running. More money than many members realize. Software development and maintenance isn’t cheap. Web servers cost money to operate. Marketing to raise awareness & get new members to join has to come from somewhere. We have to cover staff wages, equipment, rent, legal fees, taxes, insurance, and a whole range of operating costs, just like any other Internet business. Unlike those businesses, however, Stitch is constitutionally bound to act in the interests of its members. The ways most Internet companies make money — by exploiting their users for profit — could never be an option for Stitch. It’s why we don’t sell ads. It’s why we don’t provide member information to third parties. It’s why we only partner with organizations which care about the wellbeing of our members, such health organizations, non-profits, community groups, or local governments. It’s also why we have a free membership option, so that we can make a positive impact even for people who face severe financial hardship. But it’s also why we face tougher financial challenges than most companies. We’ve done our best to respond to the crisis by cutting costs to the bone. Everyone on the Stitch team has taken voluntary salary reductions. We have closed our 6-person office space in Pyrmont, and the entire team is now working from home permanently. We have cancelled each and every expense that doesn’t directly contribute to being able to keep the community running. But it’s not going to be enough. If Stitch is going to survive, it’s going to need help. It’s all about our members I expect you’re thinking that when I say “help”, I mean donations, but I’m not. The Stitch Community may be a charity, but it was never intended to rely on donations to survive. My goal when founding Stitch was to create a financially sustainable community that could fund itself by virtue of the impact it creates, without needing to rely on donations. It’s a philosophy we are still very much committed to today. If Stitch members are going to contribute financially to the community, we think it’s far better to provide them something of value (in the form of a Stitch membership) than to simply ask for handouts. The reason is simple: when people choose to become a paying member of Stitch, it’s more than just an indication that they care about an issue; it’s proof that they see Stitch as part of the solution. Our members are proof that Stitch is making a difference. If you are a philanthropic group or organization that wants to help address social isolation through Stitch, we’d love you to support us financially through donations. But if you’re a regular Stitch member, there are plenty of things we’d prefer you to do instead. That’s what this article is for: to help spread the word to all Stitch members about what each one of you can do to make a difference and help the community survive. What we need YOU to do If you’re a Stitch member, your impact really comes down to three things: The membership option you choose How much you participate in and contribute to the community How much you help convince other members to join With that in mind, here are the things we’d like Stitch members to be doing right now: Upgrade your membership If you are a Basic member, the best thing you can do to support the community is to become a Full member. It’s only a few dollars per month and makes an enormous difference to us. If every Basic member joined, the community’s financial situation would be solved overnight. If you are already a Full member, please consider upgrading to a higher membership level. If you’re only on the lowest-level Community plan, we suggest upgrading to Community Plus. It gives you so many more ways to connect with other members in the community, and make a positive impact yourself. You get to welcome new members to the community when they join, and get access to dozens of extra capabilities that not only give you a much richer experience of Stitch, but help other members in your area too. We now recommend Community Plus for anyone who wants to be an active supporter of the community. If you are already a Community Plus member, consider upgrading to Community Manager, particularly if you are an active Community Champion. (You can choose to do so using membership points if you’d prefer.) The more Community Manager members we have, the more vibrant the community becomes. Reach out to new members Hundreds of new members join Stitch every week. Most of those don’t know anyone in the community yet, and are naturally a little hesitant as they try something new for the first time. Reach out to new members to welcome them! New members who have been welcomed by an existing Stitch member or attended a Stitch event within the first week of joining are 5X more likely to join the community as a Full member. We send plenty of emails to new members when they first join, but it’s what they hear from existing members of the community that really makes a difference. Remember that you can share your membership code with anyone you meet; they will receive 10% off their Stitch membership, and you’ll receive thousands of membership points. It’s easy to see the new members in your area: just go to the Members page and filter for “Newest” members. Participate in the community New members are fifteen times more likely to become a Full member if they see there are active Stitch members in their area. So start suggesting activities or get-togethers — which can be either in-person or virtual — with other members! Create a Stitch Group for your area! And make sure you attend any events organized in your area … it’s a fantastic way to show support for other members, make new connections, and have fun in the process. Invite new members The most vibrant Stitch communities are in areas where Stitch members have played a role in raising awareness of the community by inviting new members along. First, invite everyone you know. After that, you’ll need to get creative. Post Stitch flyers on noticeboards. Post about Stitch on Facebook. At the very least, like the Stitch Facebook page. Talk to your local Community Center or library about creating a Community Manager account and becoming part of the Stitch Community to help connect people in their area. The more people you can tell about Stitch, the better the community becomes. For everyone. Share your story If you’ve got a spare few minutes, why not share your Stitch story with a video testimonial about what the community has meant to you? All you need is a smartphone and a place to rest it: put yourself on camera and talk for 30-40 seconds about what Stitch means to you. It doesn’t need to have high production values, it just needs to be honest! Video stories are the most compelling, but if you’re not comfortable on camera, written stories are fantastic too. Stitch members Richard and Anne recently shared their story with us, which we published on the Stitch blog. We’re always looking for members who are willing to be interviewed about Stitch too. Here are Stitch members Linda and Jim from Sydney, sharing their story on the Today Show: [embedded content] Media requests don’t come along all that often, but when they do it’s great to have members who are willing to talk about the community. If you’re interested in doing so, please let us know. Write a review If you have an iPhone or Android smart phone, you can do us a huge favor by writing a review of Stitch in the Apple App Store or Android Play Store. Stitch members aren’t as likely to write reviews for apps as their younger counterparts, and that has meant we don’t have very many reviews in either app store. Worse yet, we’ve received reviews from people who are clearly not authentic Stitch members. The more reviews we receive from real, authentic Stitch members, the better. If you have an iPhone you can find Stitch’s App Store listing here. If you have an Android phone you can find Stitch’s Play Store listing here. Or just search for “Stitch companionship” in the relevant app store on your device. You’ll need to be using your device in order to leave a review. Volunteer If all of the above wasn’t enough for you, please consider joining the Stitch Community’s Volunteering program. This puts a formal structure around many of the activities that our members are doing already, and helps them connect with other members who are helping make the community great. You can find out more about the Stitch Volunteering program here. And if you’ve done all that … If you’ve done everything listed above, and you want to help even more, then send us an email and tell us your ideas for how you’d like to contribute. We’re constantly amazed at the fantastic new ideas our members have for how they can make a diference. As long as you are making a positive contribution to the community, we’ll find a way to support you. Thanks everyone. With your support, we know we’ll make it. Article photos by Markus Winkler, Anastasiia Chepinska, Caleb Gregory and Margarida Afonso.

Whoever thought that a pandemic could be a solid wingman? Since coronavirus touched down in the US, the length of Tinder conversations has increased between 10-30%. It makes sense doesn’t it? Nowadays because of stay at home orders Americans are spending more time alone in their homes. It’s this free time compounded by their newfound loneliness that’s leading Americans to chat even longer on dating apps like Tinder. However, the protracted conversational bump provided by the pandemic is temporary (if it’s even around when you’re reading this). You can’t rely on highly contagious upper respiratory viruses to bolster your online dating game forever can you? A more sustainable option to upping your online dating skills is learning how to keep a conversation going on a dating app. In this article, I’ll train you how to carry on a conversation that doesn’t fizzle out and ultimately leads to an exchange of numbers or a first date. All the information I’ll provide you with today comes from a session I recently had with a client that was struggling to converse with women through dating apps. How to Keep a Conversation Going on a Dating App That Leads to a Real Life Date Stick to Topics Related to Hobbies, Favorites, Family, or Pets Your goal in talking with women online is to have a conversation long enough to determine whether or not you want to go out with her and vice versa. The best way to prolong a conversation is to discuss her interests. When in doubt, shape the conversation so that it revolves around her interests. If someone took an interest in your interests you’d be inclined to chat it up all night wouldn’t you? When discussing things that pique her interest keep the conversation emotional rather than logical. Dating -especially the early stages- are about gut emotions and sensations. She isn’t asking herself after the first message if you’re going to make a good father or not. Invite her into the conversation by poking at her heartstrings. Ask her about the dog in her photos that she adopted by a kill-shelter or her love for snorkeling in the Great Barrier Reef. Always stick to the topics that will elicit and emotional reaction and keep her talking. Her hobbies, favorites, family, and pets are all wells of emotional material that you can tap. An example of an opening message that’s sure to receive a response is any message that asks a question of one of the aforementioned topics. If she can be seen playing water polo or dancing, ask her why she picked up water polo or what her favorite type of dance is. Being that you’re offering to talk about a topic she’s interested in and have shown that you actually read her profile, she’s likely to respond. Keep this spark of a conversation going by continuing to inquire about her interests while gently steering the conversation towards a TDL. Don’t Skip Around on the Surface, Create Depth by Going Deep with the Topic The worst thing you could do is skip around to various topics without ever going deep. Sure you could pepper her with questions about all her hobbies, her favorite shows, foods, etc. But that’s all surface-level conversation. To crack her open you’ll need to ask penetrating questions. Let’s give you an example of what going deep looks like. Let’s say she’s a chess fan. You know this because she’s both written about it in her profile and she’s playing chess in one of her photos. Start off the conversation by perhaps jokingly asking her if she could best Magnus Carlsen in a game of chess. Being that she’s a chess-head she’s bound to appreciate that you know how Magnus Carlsen is and respond. Now it’s time to plunge into the deep end of the conversation by asking her why she started playing chess or if he family got her into the game. She might respond by telling you that she used to play with her Mom on long car trips and that she’s been playing even since her first ski-trip to Colorado Springs. It’s at this point that you can dive even deeper or connect this topic to a related one. You could ask her where she used to travel when she was a kid and add that you always used to sail up and down the Long Island sound with your parents when you were younger. If you two share an odd interest, vibe on that until you score a phone number or ask her out. If you feel as though the topic may be running its course switch to a different one that’s already been broached. Throughout the course of the conversation keep showing interest in her. Don’t comment on how hot she is or ask her why she’s single, keep trying to figure out who she is through these probing questions. Learning more about her by asking about her interests doesn’t mean interrogation. Bring levity and humor into the conversation and don’t forget to tell her about yourself. Augment The Emotional Response Elicited By Your Questions With the myriad of women you may be chatting with online, it can be tempting to put minimal effort into constructing a message. It’s tempting to sloppily converse with her before praying she gives you her number when asked. You can treat online dating this way, but you’ll fail. Instead, treat each message as though it were a line of poetry. Each word must be significant. Ask yourself why you’re asking her this question, why pose it in such a way, and what the coveted response is. Look, for as many women as you’re courting with online she’s chatting it up with five times as many men – guaranteed. The competition is high on these apps. So high that a study found that men only have a 4% chance of receiving a response on dating apps. On average a single man using Bumble will need to send 18 messages to have just a 50% of receiving just one response. Look women aren’t going to settle for mediocrity when they’re being pursued so vigorously online. They can sit back, sip a margarita and choose who they want to give their attention to. Stand out by investing time into the conversation process. When trying to hook a female user, give her something to bite on. “Hey,” “hey there cutie,” and “hola” will not work. Period. Engage her by asking her a question about something she’s interested in as we’ve already discussed. After you’ve received an initial response it’s time to ask probing questions. Learn how she is by asking emotionally charged questions. Discuss topics that she enjoys. Once you have her talking learn more about her by asking penetrating questions pertaining to her interests. Breaking down barriers is the best way to build a connection. So many of her interactions via online dating are superficial. She’ll chat about there favorite Netflix shows but never feel as though the person on the other side of the screen really cares to know her. Make your worth known by transcending the tradition Tinder conversation and eliciting emotional responses. Ask Questions You Want The Answer To This conversation isn’t all about her. If you have zero interest in polo, don’t inquire about it. You probably don’t care about her job, the weather, how long she’s lived in the city, etc. Your goal with these conversations is to learn enough about the woman to determine whether or not she’s worth your time. You won’t learn that if you keep asking her about her favorite Coldplay song. If you’re MegaDating effectively, you too will have women knocking at your door. Don’t waste your time or her by asking questions you don’t even want to hear the answer to. Get to know her enough to figure out if she’s worth meeting in person. You do this by opening her up with emotional questions. Stay away from logical topics like work and focus on what makes her feel alive. As much as possible ditch the surface level questions in favor of ones that peel back layers of her personality. The last thing either of you want is another vapid online dating conversation. Share A Secret She’s much more likely to be vulnerable if you open up first. A favorite opening line of mine is, “tell me a secret” or “tell me something cool about you.” When men message women these lines, they often will receive the response of, “you first.” Show her that you’re not scared about opening up and are willing to be vulnerable with a complete stranger. I guarantee this isn’t a cliche opening line. This being the case she’ll be intrigued by your secrete and once shared will likely reciprocate. Keep whatever secret you share light enough that you don’t scare her away. Always stay away from depressing topics. Instead, tell her something silly you did when you were younger or a weird habit you do that not many people know about. After secrets have been shared, if it feels right probe her a bit about her secret. If this option isn’t on the table, pull back and ask her another probing question about herself. Considering she already has her foot in the door emotionally, it’s likely she’ll continue to open up to you. Transitioning Into The Real World What is considered a successful online dating conversation? Is it one where she opens up to you by telling you all about her hopes and dreams? Or is success defined by the number of exchanges? Realize that chatting it up via a dating app isn’t considered dating. In fact, even the term, “dating app” is a bit of a misnomer. Biological anthropologist, author of The Anatomy of Love and Match.com’s Chief Scientific Advisor, Helen Fisher says that dating apps should be viewed as introduction apps, rather than dating apps. She urges users to get out of the app as quickly as possible so that they can begin the courting phase. Ya see, dating apps offer the opportunity to speed date women, just in an even more superficial way. There is only so much that users can emotionally and socially gain from even an in-depth discussion via the apps. To me, a successful dating app interaction checks off a few boxes. One box is that you find someone worth dating. It’s great if the woman you’re talking to is into you, but if you don’t reciprocate, the conversation was all for not. The second box is that you scored a phone number or date. If this doesn’t happen the match you’ve been chatting with is nothing more than a virtual pen pal. So just how do you make this transition? Naturally, you’ll want to steer the conversation towards a TDL otherwise known as time, date, location. As we’ve discussed begin the conversation by touching one of these categories: hobbies, favorites, family, or pets. After chatting for a while, ask her on a date that relates to what you’ve just been discussing. If you’ve been talking about your pets, why not ask to go on a walk around a park or to the dog park with your pooches. If you’ve been discussing the fact that you two are both runners, bikers, or hikers, ask her out on a date that relates to her hobbies. When asking her out, don’t ask her on a date that takes place during the amorphous future. Give her a concrete date request that she can either accept her reject. Ask her to go hiking at Mount Sutro, this Sunday, at 11 a.m. This way she’ll have to offer you a yes or no answer. Hire A Coach Even if you’ve taken all the aforementioned tips on how to keep a conversation going on a dating app you still aren’t guaranteed success. Engaging in successful online dating conversations that convert into real dates isn’t an easy skill. To understand the ins and out of online dating you’ll need to sit down with a professional wingwoman.  Book a new client 1-on-1 Zoom session with me today and I’ll walk you through what steps you need to take to have a successful dating app conversation. We’ll also discuss your current dating obstacles, create an action plan, and see if my three month coaching program is right for you.

Let me guess: you’ve seen other so-called “dating experts” give you advice saying, “this will make him chase you:” Ignore his texts… …post pics with other men on Facebook… …basically don’t give him any of your time. If that’s what you’re hoping to find here, I’m sorry to disappoint you. I don’t believe in manipulating men to get what you want. Sure, these tips might get you short-term results…but you’re looking for the long haul. You want a man to chase you and want you for years…not just a week.  I have a program called the Love Accelerator, and in it, I talk about Little Love Steps. These are tiny things you can do to move toward that loving relationship you want. Once you’ve created a love life vision and know exactly what you want in a relationship, you’ll start meeting quality men. Now comes the fun part! You get to decide which ones are right for you by qualifying your dating options. It’s not about making a guy like you. It’s about you finding men that are a good fit with what you’re looking for. You’re not going to give him your power or your energy until you know he aligns with your love life vision. In this Little Love Step, I recommend narrowing down your selection to three guys. Why three? It gives you the chance to get to know three men who likely are very different and who present different aspects of what you’re looking for. Also because you have walking power. As you get to know each one, it will become clear that there’s really only one man (or maybe none from this batch. Try again!) that aligns with your love life vision. It’s the next step you care about because this will make him chase you: pacing the progression. Rather than being completely available to talk all the time or go out several days in a row…pace it. Having space between chats or dates gives him a chance to miss and want you more. It also gives you time to consider whether he’s really what you’re looking for. Give these Little Love Steps a try and leave a comment below letting me know how they worked for you. Your Coach, P.S. If you’re interested in learning the rest of the Little Love Steps, you can get access here. Share the Love

You’re Going To Discover… The 3 most important “Interest Signals” that a girl will send you (often subconsciously) when she likes you and exactly what to do when you see each of these signals… How knowing these signals can almost eliminate your chances of getting rejected or making an embarassing mistake with a girl… Why 99% of men completely miss these signals and let cool, attractive women walk out of their lives every week, without even knowing it… The four “magic words” you can tell a girl once you know she likes you, that will increase her interest in you and make sure things go the way you want… And whole ‘lot more!

You’re Going To Discover… The 3 most important “Interest Signals” that a girl will send you (often subconsciously) when she likes you and exactly what to do when you see each of these signals… How knowing these signals can almost eliminate your chances of getting rejected or making an embarassing mistake with a girl… Why 99% of men completely miss these signals and let cool, attractive women walk out of their lives every week, without even knowing it… The four “magic words” you can tell a girl once you know she likes you, that will increase her interest in you and make sure things go the way you want… And whole ‘lot more!

You’re Going To Discover… The 3 most important “Interest Signals” that a girl will send you (often subconsciously) when she likes you and exactly what to do when you see each of these signals… How knowing these signals can almost eliminate your chances of getting rejected or making an embarassing mistake with a girl… Why 99% of men completely miss these signals and let cool, attractive women walk out of their lives every week, without even knowing it… The four “magic words” you can tell a girl once you know she likes you, that will increase her interest in you and make sure things go the way you want… And whole ‘lot more!