I came across a juicy bit of info recently that I can’t help but share: We all know that women tend to prefer taller men for evolutionary (mating) reasons, but one study shows that taller men don’t really make women happier.
Over time, a man’s height becomes less and less important to women. So if you’re a shorter guy, you need to do whatever you can to make height less of an issue in the beginning.
If you can eliminate (or at least make her doubt) her preference for taller men in the short-term, there’s a good chance your height will have zero effect in the long-term. With that in mind, I’ve pulled together some of my best dating tips for short guys — whether you’re interacting with a woman online or in real life.
Online Dating Tips for Short Guys
Women make super quick judgments online. With just seconds in between swipes, you need to make your best impression. Then, if she does land on your profile, you need to put your best foot forward.
So what are the best dating tips for short guys when it comes to describing yourself online? I have two main suggestions for you.
Select the Maximum Height Allowable on Your Dating App
Approximately 49% of women filter out for height in their dating searches. That’s a staggering number, which means if you want to stay competitive on dating apps, you need to fudge a little bit at the beginning.
Keep in mind, this isn’t lying. It’s just practical. Like I said, you have literally seconds to get a woman’s attention and entice her to click to read more about you. That said, you’ll never be in the game if you let her filter you out before she even has a chance to see your face.
My suggestion: Select the maximum height allowable when creating your profile. That way, your height won’t eliminate you from any searches, but at the same time, it’ll be obvious that you’re goofing around.
For example, on Bumble you can select 7’3”. In your bio, you can say something cheeky like, “7 feet tall in heels” or “I’m not really 7 feet tall but I didn’t want you to miss me!”
At this point, you may be thinking, “Why don’t I just exaggerate by a few inches and leave it at that?” Obviously, guys do this too. But it’s easy to be a little too aggressive with that approach, and when you exaggerate too much, it can totally backfire.
Let’s say you’re 5’3” and you exaggerate your height to 5’6”. She herself may be close to 5’6”, or know many people who are, so she’ll immediately realize you’re shorter than that. Most people know what 5’6” looks like in real life. It’s easy to assume that women just won’t notice a difference of three inches or so in height… but they will.
So in your bio, I would choose the maximum height and just make a cute joke out of it. It keeps her from skipping over you without you coming across as deceptive.
Plus, it subtly puts pressure on her to forget about how tall you are. If she gets to the point of talking to you on the app, it’ll make her look really superficial to then turn around and ask how tall you are or make a big deal about it. (Okay, I hear you — some women will still do this — but these are also the women you’d rather avoid anyway.)
Call It Out in a Funny Way
Another thing you can do is be honest about your height but use humor. Instead of letting your height hang there as a huge negative, make a joke. Try one of these on for size:
“I Never Wear Flats”
“Fun-Sized and Bite-Sized”
“I May Be Short, But I Do NOT Like to Be Picked Up”
“Better to Have Loved a Short Man Than to Never Have Loved a Tall”
“I’d Rather Be the Short Man You Look Up to Than the Tall Man You Look Down At”
“Voted Best Guy to Date in San Francisco Under 6 Foot”
Also, remember that humor is tricky. It’s easy to get too snarky or negative when making jokes about your height, which will kind of ruin the whole thing. Keep it positive and funny!
Think about how short comedians like Kevin Hart make fun of their height. He projects confidence while showing people that he’s very comfortable with who he is.
Make sure that whatever line you choose is funny enough to make someone laugh, or it’ll come across as whiny. You might even take a little time to do some internet research to find just the right quote.
In-Person Dating Tips for Short Guys
If she’s judging you in real life (whether you’ve just met or are on a first date) then try some of these dating tips for short guys that can improve your first impression.
Practice Good Posture
When it comes to dating tips for short guys, never underestimate the effect of good posture. Some even claim that good posture can add up to three inches in height. Whether or not that’s exactly true, good posture can definitely make you not only look slightly taller but more confident — which is critical when it comes to attracting women.
Aside from good standing posture, also think about how you move your body in other ways. When you’re sitting, for example, don’t be afraid to extend your legs out, lean an arm over the back of the next chair, or otherwise take up space around you. This is a sign of healthy dominance and will make you come across as bigger than you are.
If nothing else, you don’t want to be one of those guys who slouches, especially if you’re short. Don’t make the mistake of assuming that rounding your posture will make you more approachable or less intimidating to women. It doesn’t work and can make things even worse if you’re a short dude.
Be in GREAT Shape
Easier said than done, I know. But if you’re a shorter guy, it goes a really long way, so it’s well worth the investment. Think about it: Your goal is to put yourself ahead of your taller male competitors. What woman doesn’t like a guy with a six-pack?
While it is true that women don’t care about men’s looks as much as other qualities, it still matters. So if you’re in great shape, it’ll work in your favor and may even eliminate any issues she has with your height.
Start learning more about nutrition and find a workout method you’d be willing to stick with for a reasonable amount of time. YouTube is great if you’re looking for free workout tutorials. Hell, watch out the new Biggest Loser on USA for motivation.
Beginning an exercise routine will do more than improve your looks, though. Exercising also releases endorphins, which help alleviate stress.
And the less stressed you are, the more self-assured you’ll be with women. The best part is, you can achieve this with less effort than you think. According to one Gallup study, just exercising twice a week can produce stress-reducing effects.
Overcome Her Objections
As I mentioned before, some women might flat-out say they’re not into shorter guys. Aside from simply moving on, you could also try to overcome her objections.
Since she was so willing to be direct with you, ask her why she feels that way. Her answer may not be based on much. If you can change her mind, then you might just have yourself a date!
A few common things you might hear women say:
“Taller men make me feel safer.”
This is where your being in shape comes into play. Remind her that the tall skinny guys she dated probably couldn’t protect her as much as she thinks… and that YOU are physically at the top of your game.
“I’ve always dated taller guys, so going out with a short guy just feels weird.”
Encourage her to try something different! Variety is the spice of life. And if she hasn’t been happy with the guys she’s dated lately, that’s all the more reason not to cut off opportunities.
“Tall guys make me feel dainty and small. Being with a short guy makes me feel less feminine.”
Tell her that she’s gorgeous and that her femininity has nothing to do with the man she’s standing next to.
And if she still gives you height grief, tell her shorter people live longer and have less health issues as they age!
Be a Leader on the Date
What does this mean? Consider this: When you’re competing for a woman’s attention, you’re up against taller guys. But what if those other guys don’t know how to LEAD during the date? I’ll tell you — women will be less attracted to them.
If you can learn to lead on a date, you’ll be well on your way to neutralizing any disadvantages you might have. Leading on a date means you should:
Pick out the date location.
Don’t make the mistake of leaving things open and letting her choose the place. While you should ask about her interests (favorite foods, etc.) it’s your job to pick a location that you think she’d like, and then sell her on it.
This means you have to give her a time, date, and location (TDL) when you ask her out… or it’s not a date. (Never say something vague like “We should hang out sometime.” Always give her that TDL.)
You’ll also need to get her excited about the place you’re going to take her to. Once you do all of this, you’ll establish yourself as a guy she can trust to make awesome things happen on her behalf. Subconsciously, this makes her feel safe, which then makes her gravitate toward you.
Get there early.
First, being there when she arrives will show her that you respect her time. But it will also give you a chance to foresee any problems and think of a plan B if necessary (like if parking is packed, the place is closed for renovations, etc.)
Most women secretly love this. It’s an “alpha” guy trait that actually makes her feel cared for and — I’ll use the word again — safe. Do things like opening the door for her, offering her your coat if she’s cold, and walking her to her car or ride. Also, always pay the bill on the first three dates.
Look ahead to the next date.
Before the date is over, offer up a plan for the next one (assuming you’re interested). Think about a few possibilities beforehand.
Then, while you’re on the date, ask her questions to get any more info you need to decide what other place or activity she might like. At the end of the date, suggest that as your next date.
Don’t text her too much right after the date.
If you haven’t been dating her long, don’t overwhelm her. Keep a sense of mystery by saving texts just for essential communication (like to confirm an upcoming date). This is called texting with intent.
Other types of texts, like “That was awesome!” or that random selfie in the car that you couldn’t help but share, don’t really require a response… which means, you often won’t get one. Send her enough of those, and she may even get tired of hearing from you before you get to see her again.
So much goes into being a good leader that I couldn’t possibly cover it all here. But if you want to really go deeper, I’d recommend the book, The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader.
Dating Tips for Short Guys: Wrap-Up
Remember, height isn’t everything. If you learn to highlight other aspects of yourself, being short can be completely irrelevant in dating.
In my Signature program, I help clients identify their ideal girlfriend profile and then “market” themselves in ways that their desired woman cannot resist — whether they’re short or tall. I can do the same for you… so book an intro Zoom session with me today.