Hey, what’s up?
It’s Ruwando here for Gotham Club, and today we have a controversial question from Marcus.
“Do you have any tips to deal with the dreaded Last Minute Resistance, LMR? Like why do girls do it and how can I get past it?”
So this is a very controversial topic.
It’s come up a lot–consent conversations with #MeToo. A lot of people are critical of dating advice, especially in the pickup world because of this term of “LMR,” Last Minute Resistance.
And if you don’t know what it is, last minute resistance is what it sounds like.
In typical scenarios, it’s when you bring a woman home, you as a man think sex is going to happen. But right before sex happens, she puts up some resistance.
Now as a man, here’s the first thing you need to understand about last minute resistance:
Catch The Full Video Transcript Below…
The first thing you’ve got to understand as a man is that it’s totally within her right.
Because truthfully, you don’t want her to have sex with you unless she 100% wants to have sex with you, right?
Like sometimes I see on these forums these cry baby guys talking about like, “Oh, she didn’t want to put out. She came all the way home and did all these things.”
No, that’s on you. Stop being a little b*tch.
You only want to have sex with her if she really wants to have sex with you. And if she had a change of heart last-minute, if she wasn’t sure, and then you kind of like made her put up that resistance, that’s on you.
That’s your responsibility to have her feel that way because if you played your cards right all the way up until that point, she wouldn’t have any last minute resistance.
That said, it sometimes happens. I don’t mean to be so harsh up top, but that’s something I really want you guys to understand right from the beginning.
Because if you go into it, if like, “Oh, I need to conquer last minute resistance. This is something wrong with her that I need to overcome”…
… you’re creating unnecessary conflict between you and the woman as opposed to the real frame, which is that both people want to have sex, both people want to be connected.
This is a co-created experience. And you don’t have to trick her or force her to do anything.
Here’s What It REALLY Means If a Woman Gives You LMR…
So if you’re hitting last minute resistance with a woman… first of all, she’s probably in a situation where you thought sex was gonna happen.
Otherwise you wouldn’t call it last minute resistance. It’s last minute, right?
You thought sex was about to happen and she puts up the resistance. If that happens, it’s one of two things.
Either she doesn’t feel turned on anymore, but she did or almost did earlier.
She doesn’t feel safe, but she felt safe enough to go home with you and be in that situation. But at this point, she doesn’t feel safe.
Or a combination of both.
And again, this is 100% on you.
It’s your responsibility to escalate to sex.
If she doesn’t want to have sex, then you didn’t do something right or maybe sex was just not gonna happen.
If she doesn’t feel safe, that’s totally on you. What are you doing?
That’s the thing you need to be focusing on, because nothing’s gonna happen in a positive way if she doesn’t feel safe.
She’s not gonna have a good orgasm, and she’s not gonna have a good sexual experience.
Or worst case scenario, she might get pissed off at you. You might end up violating something you didn’t mean to violate if she doesn’t feel safe. So you gotta make sure of those things.
One Key Sign She Might Want to Have Sex & Is Playing Games With You…
Now I do want to address something that I think is probably gonna be less common.
And this one thing is that some women aren’t really showing resistance.
They’re kind of playing in a way. And this is a controversial thing to talk about.
Especially now because it’s not always the case. In fact, often it’s not.
But there are women, especially from certain cultures, certain Latin American countries. Like you’re kind of “expected” as a man to go past her resistance.
But I want to share how you can learn to read the difference between “playful resistance” and actual “no I don’t want to do this.”
And I actually treat them both the same.
Even if I know for sure she’s just putting up fake resistance and she actually wants to have sex, I always will back off and wait for her to opt in.
Because compliance is not consent.
And you can be moving forward and leading all of the interaction. And she could be saying yes and going along with it. But that doesn’t mean she really wants to.
This can be kind of confusing for a lot of guys because you’re like:
“Well, I kissed her and she didn’t back off, so she wanted to be kissed, right?” That’s not always the case.
And you have to think that the female brain is very different than the male brain. Sometimes especially in an arousal situation, she might not even be aware of what she’s feeling.
I know this sounds crazy to a guy, but that is the case for a lot of women.
Especially women who have a history of not having good boundaries, of not speaking up, of various things. It might be a cultural thing. It might be their upbringing. Really, it doesn’t even matter where it comes from. That’s just the case with a lot of women you need to be aware of.
So in all situations, I always like to back up because I only want to do something sexual with her if she’s begging for it. Okay?
I mean… I would rather her come to me hungry. That’s how I like to play.
Now, if you’re the type of guy that does like to lead through everything and that’s really usually fun in the beginning, you still need to wait for her to opt in because like I said, compliance is not consent.
The 90/10 Rule That Gets You Laid: How To Allow Her to “Opt In” To Sex
So if I’m with a woman and she’s going along with everything… and I’m about to do something across the line where it could be like … It’s usually with genital contact for me.
It could be different points in different situations, but genital contact is typically the thing.
Before then, I’m gonna think for a second. I’m gonna make … Okay, she’s not put up any resistance so far.
But has she actively initiated showing that she wants to have sex?
If she hasn’t, I stop, and I back off, and I don’t move forward again until she initiates something.
If she initiates something, then that’s as good as her saying, “Yes, I want to have sex.”
Or, “Yes, I want to progress sexually.” Doesn’t mean she wants to have intercourse, but then I know she’s opted in.
A very simple example is like in the movie Hitch when Will Smith is teaching Kevin Smith how to kiss.
Like you move in 90% of the way and let her move the last 10%. If you do that, then you know that she wanted a kiss in that situation.
Even though you led the entire interaction. So getting that opt in at some point is extremely important.
Why It’s Not “Beta” To Ask…
Now, if you’re still not sure and if you just want to be safe in any case, it doesn’t hurt to ask.
A lot of guys think it’s needy, or weak, or “beta” to ask.
And it’s not about asking or not asking. It’s how you ask.
You can ask for consent in a very sexy way. Like, “Do you want to have sex with me right now?”
And you don’t have to ask like, “Will you please let me have sex with you? Is that okay?”
I mean, obviously… I’m exaggerating a little bit. But how you ask matters.
You can check in with her throughout a sexual situation and have it be extremely sexy.
Especially if I’m making out with a woman for the first time and I’m pulling on her hair.
And I’m not totally sure if she’s into it. I’ll just ask her if you like that. And maybe she does and maybe she doesn’t. If she says yes, then I know. I can keep going.
If You Can Do THIS Then Last Minute Resistance Will Literally Never Happen…
A lot of women will say this:
“It’s not that I didn’t want to have sex with him. It’s that he didn’t give me the space to feel my own desire.”
So this is true in kissing. It’s in intercourse. And every stage of the sexual escalation ladder, if you will.
At times, you want to pause and give her a chance to catch up with her feelings.
You might be totally conscious and know, “Oh yes, of course I want to have sex. I want to do this. I want to do that.”
But she might not be sure. She might think, “Okay, he’s pretty cute. But I don’t feel super turned on yet.”
And you don’t want her to have sex with you at that point. You want her to make sure that she’s in it for herself.
And if you can get her there, you don’t have to worry about anything else. Because if she can feel her own desire to have you inside of her or whatever the sexual act is, last minute resistance is impossible.
So here’s a real easy way to get her turned on and eager to bang you:
This “Secret Ingredient” Makes Her So Eager to Bang You That She’ll Chase You All the Way Back to The Bedroom…
It’s simple, but often overlooked…
Sex is a physical act… and as a matter of fact it’s the ultimate physical act between a man and woman.
And all physical acts start with a simple touch.
Touch a woman in the right spots, at the right time (and using the right technique)… and not only will you see her light up like a Christmas tree…
… but she’ll get really, really turned on too.
And if you don’t touch her enough?
She’ll either feel like you “weren’t that interested in her” and leave… or she’ll get totally caught off guard when you DO make a move… and then you’re back to square one.
But you don’t have to worry… because the great thing about this kind of touch, is that you can use it on some pretty “innocent-seeming” parts of her body…
… and even if she’s got her guard up, she won’t suspect a thing. 🙂
Which means that when you touch her right, her icy exterior will melt… it’ll be WAY easier to kiss her…
… and there will be ZERO chance of last-minute resistance, because she’ll be too turned on to care about anything else other than your c*ck: