There are many ways to win a woman.
For one you can challenge her other lover to a gladiator-style duel and fight to the death — winner gets the girl.
A less bloody yet equally cool way to settle things is to challenge him to a dance battle, first to literally break an ankle walks away.
But if dueling your way to her heart isn’t for you, there’s always another route.
How to get her to choose you over another guy need not involve decapitating another man, leaving poems on her front windshield, or phoning her incessantly in your attempt to win her affection. Yes, there’s a much more noble and dignified way to win the woman you’ve been coveting.
How to Get Her to Choose You Over Another Guy: 7 Tips
Make no mistake about it, you’re in the throes of competition.
It’s you against this other dude, but even when the threat of another man stealing your woman isn’t in your face, it’s always there.
What I mean by this is that emotions aren’t stagnant. Even when we’re in committed relationships our attraction for people outside of that defined relationship doesn’t stop. Complacency in any relationship erodes the foundation those romantic feelings were built on. Never stop being an awesome guy to the woman you’re into, competition, or no competition.
In the early stages of courtship, your word means everything.
She has a smaller sample size to judge you on, so the impact of every action is magnified.
If you promise to take her to the best Mexican joint in town, but settle on Taco Bell, she’ll likely think you’re a bait and switch type of dude, or at the very least, that you have a taste disorder.
Especially during the early stages, underestimate your date ideas and TDLs, and overdeliver.
In practice, what this looks like is inviting her for a hike in a spot she’s never been to. When you pitch the date idea you don’t play it up and tell her that it promises the most amazing views, rather, you tell her enough to convince her to come, and then allow her to be pleasantly surprised as she stumbles into a sweet view of the city’s skyline.
Another classic way to overdeliver is to make your date idea a combo without telling her. For example, ask her to join you on a self-guided street art tour. While she thinks checking out a Banksy will be the climax of her tour little does she know that you booked an Airbnb experience that teaches you how to make your own stencils.
Don’t overpromise things that you cannot deliver on. Instead, promise something small and then overdeliver on what you promised. This will impress her and show her that you will always exceed her expectations.
Who do you think she’ll choose after a while? The guy that only takes her to her dank neighborhood bar that refuses to play anything other than disco, or the dude that’s full of surprises?
Show Her You Can Keep Her Safe (Emotionally & Physically)
Attraction’s a pretty weird thing.
Ya see, what turns women on the most is also what terrifies us.
We love a muscular man with a deep voice, but we’re also afraid that should that man be angered because he’s out of protein powder, that he’ll turn on us.
Winning a woman over is easy. The most important thing you need to do is make her feel safe and secure around you. Look if you’re a creep that is too handsy, that objectifies her, or becomes shy and quiet in crowded places, she will likely ditch you.
But if you’re sure of yourself, demand respect, and show her through your actions that you’re not a threat, you’ll win a second date, and then a third, a maybe even a fourth.
A woman will open up and become vulnerable only if she knows the guy holding her hand won’t hurt her.
Put her at ease by behaving like a gentleman, by cracking jokes that don’t demean anyone –except your shared enemies–, by touching her only when appropriate, by reading her body language cues, and by confronting obstacles rather than running from them.
Demonstrate your emotional maturity by refusing to play mind games, or behaving in a fickle manner.
Show Her She Can Trust You
Don’t be naive.
She’s comparing you to that other guy. Maybe she isn’t making a list of pros and cons on a blackboard in her apartment, but she is comparing the two of you.
How to get her to choose you over another guy means always being that much better than him.
It means being just a tad more fit, funny, courteous, and of course trustworthy.
Trust doesn’t really matter that much in a fling, one-night stand, or FWB situation. But you’re not interested in those types of relationships, right?
She’s testing you and your boyfriend chops. She wants to know if you’re really worth investing in.
Trustworthiness is one of the most important traits a woman looks for in a man.
It’s trust that will allow the relationship to quickly grow and evolve. It allows her to become more vulnerable with you and convinces her that it’s worth interweaving her life with yours.
Demonstrate that you’re a trusty dude by never lying, always fulfilling promises, and by being consistent.
Live Your Best Life
When we’re vying for the affection of another, we tend to get caught up in what they want. We’re constantly thinking to ourselves how we can make this person like us more.
It’s this kind of blind infatuation that decreases your perceived value. And no I don’t mean that you’re blind to other women, but that you’re blind to yourself.
She wants to be with a unique man that has a life full of nuance and complexity. Obsessing over her makes you look like a one-dimensional pony. She doesn’t want a pup that constantly hounds her for her attention.
She wants a man who’s living a life that’s so interesting that she feels compelled to be a part of it.
Can you just imagine how she’d feel if when she asks you what you’ve been up to lately, you say, watching Netflix and waiting for you to call?
What if your response instead was, “mountain climbing at this new gym I signed up for and going to Giants games.”
She wants a man that knows how to live, not a man that knows how to binge.
Be the best version of you. If there’s something you’re unhappy with, change it, fix it, improve it, work on it. Be the best you possible.
And hey, even if you don’t get the girl this go around, you’ll still walk away from the relationship as an improved man ready for love’s next test.
It’s something that every man has encountered.
Normally both men and women are most affected when we’re young. We find that first love, become intertwined, and forget that a world outside their touch even exists.
But those are nostalgic feelings best left in the past.
Nowadays we shouldn’t be naive enough to think that there’s only one person out there for us, or that if the woman you’re intimate with ditches you, you won’t be able to find another.
We can revert back to this pre-pubescent state if we put all our eggs in one basket.
Dating around puts each woman and each relationship into perspective.
Only dating one woman every few years is like only ordering one type of ice cream every time you hit up Ben & Jerrys for a milkshake. How in the world are you supposed to compare one to another when you’ve only been gorging on Chunky Monkey for years?
Date other women to keep your mind right so you don’t get one-itis.
To do this, you’ll MegaDate.
MegaDating is about dating prolifically. I encourage all my clients to do so not because I want them to whore themselves around town, but because by dating around you’ll cut the time needed to find and build a meaningful relationship in half.
Look you can either wait for the universe to place the girl of your dreams in front of you, or you can get out there and find her.
I show my clients how to do the latter.
By mining certain social channels you’ll be able to quickly rack up multiple dates a month, if not multiple dates a week.
How to get her to choose you over another guy is all about showing her that you can protect her!
This world is going through some shit right now.
Cali is ablaze, coronavirus is still making its rounds, and our democracy is on the brink of collapse.
Look there are quite a few things to be afraid of nowadays.
Once you’ve established yourself as a trustworthy guy, she’ll likely want to confide in you. This is when you can either choose to level up or cower.
If she expresses a fear, listen to her. Listen, listen, and then try to help her if the opportunity arises. It’s best not to offer her a solution unless she asks for it. Women just like to talk and if you play the typical male “I’m a solution guy,” she’ll just think you’re trying to be her savior.
Go the extra mile in being there for her regardless of the issue.
Give Her Space
When you’re figuring out how to get her to choose you over another guy, the advice of “give her space” can seem paradoxical.
You’ll feel compelled to shoot her a message every day and see her every other.
But did you ever consider the impact of pulling back a little?
She’ll never be able to make a decision when you both are equally in her life. She might feel comfortable just coasting along with her two romantic interests by her side.
If this isn’t to your liking, pull back.
Show her what life is like when you’re not there.
It’s this sensation of having her routine rocked that will force her to think about you.
Taking a brief hiatus from the relationship will also increase the mystery and sexual attention.
A break can look like an extended vacation, opting to hang out with your friends over her because your fraternal plans are too dope to pass up, or telling her you need space to consider whether you’re willing to continue being strung along.
Now it’s time to plan your plan into motion.
Heed the aforementioned advice and put in into action.
Change your behavior to get the girl.
If you need help creating a plan of courtship, you know who to call. Yep, that’s emlovz.
Book a New Client 1-on-1 Zoom session with yours truly so that we can build a dating blueprint that works for you.
I’ll teach you not only how to get this girl, but how to mine for dates, meet new women, and become the dating maven you’ve been waiting to become. Oh, and maybe you’ll find one of my coaching or matchmaking services worthwhile.