Want to know how to hold hands with a girl? Here is some counter-intuitive advice that will make you stand out against the competition.

Wondering how to hold hands with a girl?

The short answer: Very carefully.

The longer answer:

Dating and relating with high quality women goes a lot smoother for guys when they generally don’t hold hands with a girl (yes, I know this is counter-intuitive, so I’ll explain more and give you a solid replacement to hand-holding).

For starters, holding her hand marks makes her lose interest because she knows that she’s caught you.

“This guy is MINE,” says the hand of the woman.

Expanding on this, letting her holds too much will often cause very beautiful women to lose interest over the long run (even if she seems to want it) – once the cat’s caught the string, it gets bored and walks away.

So, can you learn how to hold hands with a girl in a way that works out in your favor?


If you’ve seeing her about once a week, and if she’s hasn’t been disqualified for a bad attitude, an agenda or otherwise just not being all that into you, then after 6 months of dating, you might want to reward her with a short, unannounced, unexpected, romantic hand holding for a couple minutes before pulling back and pretending like it never happened.

From that point on, we encourage hand hold sessions, only as long as it’s extremely infrequent as well as short, unannounced and unexpected (to her, this will be incredibly romantic, while keeping you from being overly romantic and making her lose interest).

Until then, and for the vast majority of time in-between rewarding with her hand-holding, here’s the extremely comfortable, mutually beneficial and ultra-smooth alternative to holding hands…

How to Hold Hands with a Girl: An Alternative

Go arm-in-arm.

The dynamic shifts from “guy has to hold on to the woman so she doesn’t leave” to arm-in-arm’s “she WANTS to be with you.”

Our experience shows that high quality women stay with guys longer in better relationships when the can enjoy strolling around arm-in-arm. This is far better than a clingy pushover dude who’s itching for a chance to squeeze her hands every chance he gets. You want to avoid being that guy – so here’s how to roll arm-in-arm:

Take the arm you’re offering her, be it left or right. Then slowly put your elbow outward towards her.

(Pro tip: do NOT hit her with your elbow. That’s a bad idea. We take take elbowing your date really seriously. So don’t. And if you are doing so, stop. Seriously. Not cool, man.)

Back on topic. Swing your arm out as such so that your forearm is pointed parallel to the ground at her and your hand hovers just in front of your chest. Look at her with your head tilted as if to say , “Better grab on now while you have the chance,” (you don’t actually have to say anything).

She might take your arm, and she might not. Either way is great, because you just gathered data: Is she into you enough to hold your arm? Does she squeeze it and hold on like a koala? Or is she just resting her hand on your arm, limp-fish style?  Does she even have enough dating experience to know what your gesture means when you offer her your arm?

More important than any results – Remember to take everything that happens in dating as practice.

Test everything out yourself.

Everything she does offers you feedback, so you can make the proper adjustments for the next time, and either continue doing what’s working or adjust to make it better.

Want to hold her hand before she’s proven herself worthy? Go ahead! Give it a try! We recommend our advice based on our experience and knowledge, but if you need to find out for yourself, by all means test out hand-holding AND arm-in-arm on lots and lots date (hundreds) over the course of months and months.

Getting up, getting out, and taking action daily to live your own experiences was, is and always will be the best strategy for finding success with high value women.