Are you wondering how to spice up your relationship and reignite the flame in the bedroom?
If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, it’s normal for your sex life to feel a little stale and monotonous. You’re way past the honeymoon phase and have probably slipped into a comfortable routine.
Don’t worry; we’ve all been there. But there’s no reason why you shouldn’t enjoy the same passion and excitement you did when you just started dating.
In this post, I will share my top 17 tips to help you spice up your relationship and get those sparks flying again.
Here’s how to spice up your relationship tonight.
The great thing about doing a striptease is that you don’t even have to get completely naked. It’s the anticipation of you getting naked that turns your guy on. The slower you go, the more excited he’ll get.
If you’ve never done a striptease, practice a few times, so you feel comfortable. DON’T judge yourself! Trust me: your man will appreciate it, even if you don’t have moves like Jagger.
Dim the lights and pick some sexy music for your performance. Consider dressing up in something out of the ordinary, like his button-down shirt and gartered stockings underneath.
And it’s okay to laugh! You may not be able to keep your Sexy Vixen persona the whole time, but hey, you’re there to have fun.
2. Kiss Everywhere BUT There
Another way to spice up your relationship is to build up anticipation before sex.
Get on top of your guy and kiss him all over—with one exception. You know where!
Start with his lips, gently move to his ear and neck, then down his chest, making a stop at his nipples. Moving down, down, down, bypassing that key area. Even being kissed on his feet can be a turn-on for many men.
It can be fun to tease your man by getting close to his man bits, then veering off on your kissing path. But after a while, give the guy a break and reward him.
3. Take Charge
If you don’t typically take charge in bed, surprising your man is a sexy way to spice up your relationship. Make it clear that you’re calling the shots and that he’s there to pleasure you. Direct (or command, depending on how bossy you want to get) where he goes and what he does. It’s an incredible turn-on to men.
This is an excellent strategy if you’ve had trouble telling your boyfriend what turns you on or how you like to be touched. When you’re in control, he’s listening and ready to do whatever it takes to please you.
4. Tie Him Up
There’s just something about the fantasy of being tied up that turns on both men and women. If you’re looking for ways to spice up your relationship tonight but don’t want to go all-in, this is an easy but effective idea.
You can use rope, a tie, or long socks, or you can get fancy and order handcuffs (ones designed for play. Not real ones! You don’t want to have to call a locksmith to get him uncuffed!). Take it up a notch and blindfold him while you’re at it.
5. Use Toys
You might reserve your sex toys for the time you spend alone, but here’s a reason to bring the toys into the bedroom with your boyfriend. A study showed that couples who reported being satisfied in their relationships and sex were more likely to use sex toys together.
So, not only can toys sexually satisfy you, but they can also help strengthen your relationship!
Your guy may not know what to do with the toy, so show him how to use it to maximize your arousal. Explore new toys you can buy and play with together.
6. Watch Each Other in the Mirror
Watching your partner feel pleasure can bring more pleasure to both of you. If you have a mirror in the bedroom, face it while you have sex (usually, doggie style is best for this) and enjoy the show.
Don’t get wrapped up in watching yourself and judging how you look (I know you’re tempted!). Instead, know that he’s loving watching you. Enjoy his looks of pleasure instead. This is guaranteed to help you spice up your relationship tonight.
7. Touch Yourself
You may be shy about this one, but trust me: your man will be turned on if he sees you touching yourself. Do this before he’s touched you or even across the room, so he wants to jump in and help you out.
You want to be confident in your body to pull this one off. If it feels too embarrassing, don’t force it. There are plenty of other ways to spice up your relationship.
8. Have Sex Somewhere Other Than the Bed
Sex in the bed can get boring after a while. Why not mix things up and try it somewhere else like:
- The kitchen table
- Your home office
- The couch
- Outside (away from prying eyes)
- The pool (private, not public!)
- The washing machine
- The floor
Sometimes having sex in unusual places isn’t the most comfortable. Be mindful of possible injuries. Bring a blanket or towel to put under your knees, so they don’t get scraped up.
9. Watch Porn Together
If you’re open to the idea of watching porn, why not watch it with your partner? It’s a great way to learn what he likes and get some ideas for moves.
You can take turns picking the porn based on what turns you on. Don’t be shy about talking about what you find erotic. The conversation will help spice up your relationship by improving your sex life.
10. Wear Your Sexiest Lingerie
Lingerie is incredibly hot for men, and it can boost your confidence just by wearing it. For a special occasion, buy a lacy bra and panties or a more complex lingerie outfit in his favorite color.
For extra hotness, whisper that you’re wearing hot lingerie (or even no panties) in the middle of dinner or somewhere he can do absolutely nothing about it. That way, he’s panting in anticipation to get you home.
11. Let Him Look But Not Touch
This is another version of you being in control. Seduce him by rubbing him all over and showing off your body, but don’t let him touch you. You can tie him up or even hold his hands above his head. If he touches, punish him! 🙂
This is a powerful way to spice up your relationship and make you feel sexy and confident. You can start across the room (maybe with that striptease or touching yourself) and get closer and closer, forbidding him to touch you until he’s ready to explode.
12. Sext Him
A great way to build excitement before you have sex is to send steamy texts. No matter what he’s doing, you’ll be guaranteed a fast response!
Keep these at the level you’re comfortable with. You don’t need to send nude photos to be sexy (and in fact, I discourage that). You could send something like:
I can’t focus on work. Keep thinking about all the naughty things I’m gonna do to you tonight!
Guess what color panties I’m wearing. 🙂
13. Tease Him
There are a million ways you can tease a guy, including the kissing tip I already provided. You can also rub against him, getting close to penetration, then pull away. He’ll be pleasantly frustrated, and when you do finally have sex, it will be mind-blowing.
There’s a difference between teasing and being cruel. Once he can’t stand the anticipation, give the guy a break and reward him for his patience.
14. Go to a Motel
Who says sex has to always happen at home? Stepping out of your usual routine is one of the best ways to spice up your relationship. It can be totally hot to book a cheap motel (or a 5-star hotel if that’s your jam) and get frisky.
Surprise him with a night away and have everything planned. You could even have bubbly chilling in the room waiting.
15. Have Sex in a Car
Another out-of-the-ordinary place to get it on is the car. Yes, it’s taking you back to college or high school, and yes, having the parking gear in your back isn’t comfortable, but it’s still hella hot.
Bonus points if you have an SUV or van and can fully recline. Just make sure you park the car somewhere a police officer isn’t going to tap on the window (talk about flashbacks to the old days!).
16. Bring Out the Whipped Cream
Another fun way to spice up your relationship is with food, particularly whipped cream. It’s fun to lick off of one another’s bodies and is a delicious snack to boot.
Avoid getting the whipped cream inside your body!
17. Talk Dirty
Spice up your relationship tonight by talking dirty to him. Tell him he’s been a bad boy, then tell him exactly what you’ll do to him to punish him.
If you’re new to talking dirty, start simply at first. Just tell him what you want him to do to you or what you like. If he responds positively, get more courageous in what you say.
Conclusion: Are you ready to spice up your relationship?
These are some of my hottest tips to help you spice up your relationship tonight and bring the excitement back into the bedroom.
Are there any other ideas you have to spice things up and unleash your inner sex Goddess? Drop a comment below, ladies.
P.S. A healthy sex life is part of a long and happy relationship. If you haven’t found that yet, enroll in my Little Love Steps program to find the guy of your dreams.
Also, if you’d like to join me on a brand new webinar to learn “why men flake, avoid commitment and consistently ghost until they meet a woman who’s following these 7 simple steps”, then register here (it’s 100% free).