Every once in a while there comes along some crazy advent that completely disrupts life as we know it.
I’m talking about the printing press, the Model T, the telephone, the Internet, etc.
For singles, the most recent disruptor has been dating apps.
I’ll admit it seems a bit out of place to position dating apps next to the television and vaccines. But think about how dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge have completely changed dating.
Prior to dating apps, the most popular ways to meet women were through friends, at bars, at work, or via a religious event. You had to physically get out of the house, go to events, and talk to stranger IRL. But this is no longer the case.
Sure you can still hit up Jeff’s party and meet single women, but this just isn’t as common as it used to be.
A 2017 Stanford study found that 39% of all new heterosexual relationships started in 2017 started online. By and large, the most popular way to meet your partner nowadays is via an app.
According to Pew Research, 43% of those aged 18-49 have at one time used a dating app. While swiping for your cinderella was not too long ago considered taboo, dating apps are now widely accepted as an integral part of singledom.
Being how vital they are to any single man’s search for a partner, it’s important that you know how to succeed on dating apps.
However, the fact that everyone uses them isn’t exactly in your favor.
Dating apps are notoriously known as sausage-fests. The number of male users more often than not heavily outweighs the number of female users. This means that to attract the attention of a female you’ve got to have a pretty kick-ass profile.
That’s where we come in.
How to Succeed on Tinder, Bumble, & Hinge As a Guy
It’s All About The Photos
The first thing you should know about dating apps is this, they’re superficial.
I don’t care if the app advertises itself as the least superficial app in the land. That may be so, but being the least superficial doesn’t mean it isn’t superficial (looking at you Hinge).
That being said, you’ll need to work overtime to ensure that your photos are competitive.
So what do competitive photos look like?
Men that have the best results take professional photos, smile, don’t wear sunglasses, and don’t try to look cool.
You need to show her you’re not a serial killer, weirdo, or sniff glue, which is surprisingly difficult to do.
Not smiling, using blurry selfies taken on your iPhone 5, wearing sunglasses, etc. is all going to make her think you might be a weirdo. My clients who opt for professional photos almost always see a drastic increase in both the number of matches they get on the apps and the quality of the women they attract.
Photos are the barrier to entry these days.
Mediocre ain’t gonna cut it when you’re competing against thousands of other men for the interest of a woman who’s being bombarded by profiles and comparing accordingly.
In my group or private coaching programs, I teach my clients about the 6 photo archetypes they need to have on their profile to be competitive as well as a list of things to avoid so they don’t come across creepy, lame, or killery. You can learn more about that here.
Also, be sure to test your photos on Photofeeler to ensure they’re competitive. You’re looking for a minimum of 20 votes and a score above an 8/10 in at least 1 of the 3 dating categories. If your photos are performing below this threshold, that is why you’re not getting the quality or quantity of matches you want.
Take professional photos, smile, don’t wear sunglasses, and don’t try to look cool.
Every photo you take should be clear and not obscure your face. Each photo should serve a different purpose.
Use Specific Keywords That Polarize Your Audience
In my coaching programs, I give my clients a dating profile template that guarantees they’ll get more matches with more compatible women.
Simplistically though, the algorithms on dating apps (in part) use keyword matching, which means that if you say you like to “travel,” the apps will match you with other women who say they like to “travel.” But if you get specific and instead say you like to travel to Morocco and Egypt, now you’ll get matches that say they like to travel to Morroco and Egypt.
Imagine what else you might have in common if you share those very specific travel destinations in common. Think about listing things like favorite books (title and author), favorite movies and tv shows, favorite musicians, etc.
But you don’t only write your profile for the algorithm.
Every profile should be short enough to read in a matter of seconds, show the reader who you are without merely listing things, and of course be well written.
Also keep in mind that writing things that might be dealbreakers is actually a good idea.
You don’t want to cast a wide net only to find out that once you’ve caught some fish, half the catch wants nothing to do with you. Broadcast that you are divorced, are 5’5″, or that you have an unhealthy relationship with manga. Why waste your time attracting or trying to attract someone that isn’t into the unchangeable aspects of who you are?
The superficial attraction you manage will snap the second you two meet in person.
Also, remember that opposites don’t attract. That’s some bs Hollywood line trope we’ve been force-fed for far too long. Be unabashed about showcasing who you are. The more unique your profile the more you’ll stand out and attract similar women.
Being Cliché Is A Sin
Here’s the deal.
Yes, dating apps are competitive. Tinder has a 9-1 male to female ratio with Bumble boasting a lackluster 7-3 ratio.
But when we dig deeper we see that these men more so resemble vapid bots than complex individuals.
Here’s the deal, 99% of men are all doing the same thing on the apps.
They’re sending the same messages: Hi, How are you, How was your weekend, hey cutie, hola, etc.
You don’t need a dating coach to tell you that these messages suck.
They’re trite and add no value to a woman’s life. In order to stand out in a saturated market of “hey there’s” you need to craft a message that adds value to a woman’s life. Consider what you can say to her that would actually make her want to respond to you, because,”Hey” ain’t it brother.
In my program, I teach the exact formula to use in your message to capture women’s attention so they read, respond, and say “yes” to your date invitations. Messaging in this way can be challenging without expert guidance because you might get stuck in analysis paralysis, spending 30 minutes or more on one message to a woman that will never even get read because she just started dating Brad, the hot beach towel guy that approached her on Saturday.
You don’t want to get stuck in analysis paralysis because messaging is a numbers game and it’s all about quality and quantity. The fastest way to master this art is to work with me.
Ultimately, you need to send a message that is compelling to the woman in question. Something that isn’t what every other guy is sending. Something that shows her you know about one of the topics on her profile. Adding value in this way will make her feel as though you have a lot in common and will make her curious to learn more about you.
You also need to be VERY persistent.
Don’t just give up if you don’t get a response the first time. Contact her at least three times. If you can’t connect with her on the apps, find her on social media and reach out that way. The persistent man gets the girl.
Women love persistence because it demonstrates to us that you can keep us safe. If you go after what you want without apology, we subconsciously know that you’re resourceful, which is what we’re looking for. The guy that gives up after one try will never get the woman of his dreams. So if you’re scared of rejection, just create a system that you always use in the exact same way.
My system is to try 3 times before calling it quits. I do it every time and because of my consistency, I know when someone is lashing out for no reason (if they wig out about my follow-ups) because it happens so rarely. I can then separate myself from their projection and not take it personally because I’ve done it a million times (reached out to different people using the exact same process). Be methodical in your messaging. It’s an art and a science and it’s a lot easier with the help of an expert that’s been there.
Understand Your Audience
Each app caters to a unique user.
Tinder for example is primarily used by young singles between the ages fo 18-25. It’s a favorite among college students and recent grads. Its youthful userbase means that most Tinderellas will be more so interested in short-term flings.
Bumble is what Tinder users graduate to. Bumble is considered to be the feminist version of Tinder. But really, this is more so a marketing scheme than a reality. The main difference in users is that Bumble users are more socially conscious and demand more refined and respectful messaging than Tinder users. Expect to invest more in Bumble users than those of Tinder.
Hinge is where singles go if they’re done with the app game and finally want to settle down. Hinge uses a series of search preferences that filter away singles that aren’t deemed compatible with the search user. In this way, a Hinge user can quickly filter out women and focus on women that they’re more likely to have a connection with.
Do a bit of research on how these apps work and who uses them in order to figure out how to succeed on Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge.
Get In And Get Out
The point of a dating app is to meet up with women IRL.
It isn’t to increase your self-esteem by racking up matches or finding your new digital pen pal.
You should exchange no more than about 10 messages before making plans with your match. Ask for her number or use a TDL to ask her out.
Don’t feel the need to know everything about her before asking her out. You’ll learn more about her on the first date.
You should feel comfortable asking her on a first date despite knowing little about her, because of how first dates work.
If you adhere to our MegaDating blueprint then you should never fret about a first date. This is because a MD-approved first date lasts no longer than an hour. Also no more than $10 should be spent on a first date.
In a worst-case scenario where you know the moment you greet her that she isn’t your type, you need only spend a single hour with her before departing. It may sound odd, but tell me which sounds weirder. Spending 4 hours with a stranger while dining on a 3-course meal, or strolling through a park for an hour while enjoying ice cream?
Why would you sign up to spend a copious amount of time and money on a woman you may never see again?
My MegaDating blueprint will never lead you awry.
Embarking on the digital journey alone can be daunting. So don’t go it alone.
Team up with me and learn how to succeed on dating apps.
Book a 1-on-1 Zoom session today so that we can begin creating your romantic blueprint. We’ll discuss your roadblocks, create a strategy, and also determine whether one of my coaching or matchmaking programs could be right for you!