It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
You should stop “long-distance dating” men you’ve never met. I know these are unique times, but you can’t build a romantic relationship on weekly video calls and some daily online chats. It’s just too easy for bad people to lie and take advantage of the situation, like Derek did with you. He was never leaving his partner. He was just cyber cheating on her with you! He probably got caught, and so he sent you that racist article in an effort to gaslight you because he’s a fucking loser. Ordinarily, I’d say it’s fine to engage in online friendships and flirting, but your judgment seems too cloudy to discern quality character through a screen, so cool it on the dating apps until you’re able to actually meet up in person and build a potential relationship in real life.
Woah, talk about backing this shit up. You just shared plenty of examples of how Gary is a sexist, classless perv and you think this is all on you?! Uh, no. You haven’t done anything wrong, and this is not about your being insecure. This is very much about Gary being gross and juvenile and immature and objectifying women. Kick that fucker to the curb. You can do way better than a dork who cracks open a beer first thing in the morning after scratching a graphic bikini top to expose some boobs. Aim higher. Way higher.
Um, you have a child together. You already took your relationship to the “next level.” Move the hell in together if that’s what you want. If your parents have a problem with it “because they want marriage first,” remind them that YOU ALREADY HAVE A CHILD TOGETHER, so the whole marriage-first bullshit is kind of a moot point.